"Wolf"-Brand Chili

by **Tdarcos** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 2:40 pm

I didn't see this thread before. I think the Family Dollar sells Wolf when either they run out of Hormel or didn't get it that week. I think I remember having it, but it wouldn't really matter much, I usually only eat Hormel as chili qua chili, I probably used Wolf in Slop, a mix of ramen and chili.

The brand to avoid, like the plague it is made out of, is Texas Pete brand. Bought it at a Hostess Thrift store along with pies that none of you get to have. Texas Pete chili is, at most charitable, a can of molasses with a little chili added, you open the can and you can smell the molasses.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:49 am

OK. The garbage plate is better than the Wolf chili.

Now I think that the next time I go to NY I should send your family a garbage plate and we should all y'alls thoughts.

by **Flack** » Sun Sep 02, 2012 7:06 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What were those?!

Flack, we'd like to hear your TAKE on the garbage plate. Please keep in mind that the garbage plate is the finest thing our hometown has ever produced. I don't want to create bias, but we'll probably hurt you here in this thread.

I may be misunderstanding the terminology. Aardvark didn't send me a garbage plate. He sent me a bottle of hot sauce that (I think) goes in the garbage plate.

by **pinback** » Sat Sep 01, 2012 9:35 pm

You were banned from eating that chili, so please replace what you have used, in triplicate.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:49 pm

Well, as I am house sitting for Ben, I can confidently state that after having Wolf chili, I will now be house shitting for Ben.

This is stuff is a complete abomination. Flack is right: you can put it on top of things. Like the ground outside, for instance.

This is fucking terrible! I am actually outraged that Ben moved to the LAND OF CHILES and is eating this fecund dickrot.

I ate a little too much yesterday -- so today, I reeled it in. One of my two meals was a hot dog (delicious) a single green chile (delicious) and a little bit of Wolf chili on top. It was fucking terrible. It was so bad that two dogs in this house had a chance to eat it and they didn't. Have you ever heard of a substance that DOGS won't eat?

(This is where Aardvark can post Strawberry Shortcake cereal again.)

.... I really am bitter about all this. This is like moving to Kansas City and then eating nothing but piggy banks with ketchup.

by **Flack-iPad** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:50 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Could you send me an itemized receipt for everything he sent?

Gah ... priceless?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I will get in two fights with my girlfriend next year. Top that, you ragweeds. And this time I won't retreat to the sanctum sanctorum of a roomful of Star Wars toys. I'm going to live-Skype the fight in Mason's bedroom give him a "sneak peak" of what his life will soon be like. He will be messed up so bad he'll be taking a cereal box to the prom.

Mason said he will have to run that plan past "Uncle Aardvark" first.

by **AArdvark** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:34 pm

Oh wait, off topic....

THE
STAY FOCUSED
AARDVARK

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:27 pm

Flack wrote:Vark graciously sent me some Star Trek walkie talkies (which Mason LOVES), a postcard, the sauce, some things for Morgan, an old Coleco handheld game ... I gotta tell you, he really raised the bar for future house guests and I'm just going to tell you ICJ, next year I expect you to step up your game.

Could you send me an itemized receipt for everything he sent? I will top it with a single dollar bill attached to a check for that amount. This is the sort of tactics I've adopted in becoming the second-best nephew from a field of two. They like my BROTHER more than they like me, and my brother is a hateful, almond-headed race baiter.

Varkus thinks he can top me? ME? With bribes? All right. All right.

I will get in two fights with my girlfriend next year. Top that, you ragweeds. And this time I won't retreat to the sanctum sanctorum of a roomful of Star Wars toys. I'm going to live-Skype the fight in Mason's bedroom give him a "sneak peak" of what his life will soon be like. He will be messed up so bad he'll be taking a cereal box to the prom.

JC FUN FAX: Name a cereal box with a girl on it. You can't.

by **AArdvark** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:50 pm

Use it to top off some Wolf brand chili! Or just as a burger/hot dog topping.

by **Flack** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:38 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What were those?!

Flack, we'd like to hear your TAKE on the garbage plate. Please keep in mind that the garbage plate is the finest thing our hometown has ever produced. I don't want to create bias, but we'll probably hurt you here in this thread.

Vark graciously sent me some Star Trek walkie talkies (which Mason LOVES), a postcard, the sauce, some things for Morgan, an old Coleco handheld game ... I gotta tell you, he really raised the bar for future house guests and I'm just going to tell you ICJ, next year I expect you to step up your game.

We have not used the hot sauce yet because we weren't sure what to put it on, if you just use it like regular hot sauce or if you're supposed to follow a Garbage Plate recipe and use it on that. It is sitting on the shelf above the stove and I see it every time I walk into the kitchen.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:10 pm

I'd like a nice Wolf cola.

by **pinback** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:00 pm

I'd like to talk more about "Wolf"-brand chili.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:02 pm

What were those?!

Flack, we'd like to hear your TAKE on the garbage plate. Please keep in mind that the garbage plate is the finest thing our hometown has ever produced. I don't want to create bias, but we'll probably hurt you here in this thread.

by **AArdvark** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:55 pm

'Twas the least I could do for his generous hospitality.

Also a couple other retro goodies I had laying around that needed a real home.

THE
APPRECIATIVE
AARDVARK

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:09 am

You sent Flack some Nick Tahoue's?!?!

by **AArdvark** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 6:28 pm

Speaking of topping sauce, how'd that Tahous survive the Oklahoma heat?

by **pinback** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:31 pm

i put the green chile into the chili.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:22 am

Ben moved to a place with the best green chile in the world and decided to buy a bunch of chili. The inferior version.

In other news, I took a trip up to Maine! I'm there now! You wouldn't believe all the meals I had eating pubic crab!

by **pinback** » Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:50 pm

I appreciate you're trying to find it for me, but the only reason I started this thread is, I just had it, because we can get it here in New Mexico, which is why--- well, you understand.

Someone set this to wubmachine and let's get on with it.

by **Flack** » Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:27 pm

I just checked Sam's and you can get 6/15oz cans for about $8 there. I don't think you have Sam's out that far west but you might check Costco. Or, you know, I could smuggle cans into random Los Pollos Hermanos trucks headed your way.

As I was typing this my wife reminded me that there are multiple varieties of Wolf Brand Chili, including those with and without beans.

But yeah, for something coming out of a can as a topper for hot dogs, or macaroni noodles, or nachos, it's good stuff. And it has a recipe I can follow. (Open can. Pour into container. Heat. Eat. Poop.) Those custom chili recipes I mentioned earlier, people tend to pride themselves on hour many hours or days it takes to prepare them. Wolf Brand is a minutes thing.

Also, the first time you open a can of Wolf Brand Chili and then open a can of Alpo, you can never un-make that association.

[youtube][/youtube]

"Well that's too long."

(That's not what she said.)

"Wolf"-Brand Chili

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