Off-season football thread

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Expand view Topic review: Off-season football thread

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:04 pm

Saints sign Drew Brees, QB, San Diego. Arguably the best player available in free agency. Of course, they could have drafted the best college QB prospect since Peyton Manning if they had done absolutely nothing this week. I don't know whether I should be excited or not. It's clear to me, however, that the team will NEVER pick a quarterback in the first round so long as I am alive. I have accepted that.

I hope none of Brees' success is due to having a good TE on the roster. If it is, I demand that Mike Ditka's name be added to the roster.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:10 pm

This was the worst season of football since the 9-game season one.

by AArdvark » Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:32 pm

Thank god that's over. now we can get back to real sports

HOCKEY!



THE
DON'T LOCK ME OUT
AARDVARK

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:19 pm

And a fixed Super Bowl to end things. Haha, what a worthless league.

It's too bad that non-athletic types have hated football their whole lives. It's finally worthy of contempt.

by gsdgsd » Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:08 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:JC Denizens, which fanbase do YOU hate? I understand that it's "the Saints" for some of you because of me, but other than that, I mean.
I think everyone hates Giants fans (except other Giants fans). Other than that, the Chiefs. Never has a team that's done so little since before my birth produced such an unjustified sense of fan-smugness.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:59 am

There is a guy on the Awful Forums who stated that Sean Payton was the only new coach hired to be a guaranteed failure.

This is the same guy who inexplicably kept posting "PRO BOWL JAY FEELY" the entire year, cheerleading for the Giants kicker to make the Pro Bowl.

Aside from that being the single stupidiest thing I've ever seen someone root for, Jay Feely missed three game-winning kicks against the Seahawks.

You would think if you were that fucking stupid when it comes to predictions that you might stop making them, but no such luck with Giants fans.

JC Denizens, which fanbase do YOU hate? I understand that it's "the Saints" for some of you because of me, but other than that, I mean.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:46 pm

I guess I'm obligated to mention that the Saints hired a new head coach. They hired the CHEAPEST guy they could find. Frankly, I'm shocked that an actual 1040-filling human got the job. I think a vacuum cleaner could just as easily be hired and just as easily, wait for it, suck as much as the new guy will.

Because he's a terrible coach? No, not at all. But I have a history with these things. These "head coaches." The guy will go 6-10, 5-11 and then get shitcanned. He'll probably take his second franchise deep into the playoffs.

I'm waiting to see who the new offensive and defensive co-ordinators are. Rick Venturi of "Interim Coach Rick Venturi" fame, which is how I listed him in Front Page Sports: Football 96, is probably the worst DC in the NFL, but has remained employed through THREE head coaches (Mora, Ditka and Haslett). Will he grow yet another head onto the hydra of suffering he shit I can't finish this sentence it's been 24 hours and he hasn't lost his job yet.

by AArdvark » Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 am

So yes, I love the fact that I ... Have An Injury!!!! (imagine angels blowing trumpets right here)

Image


THE
VISUAL
STIMULATION
AARDVARK

by pinback » Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:46 pm

When your mother.

by Jack Straw » Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:00 pm

when's the resurrection?

by pinback » Fri Jan 13, 2006 7:42 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I don't walk to get my take-out dinner, I drive to it like -- oh, right, you have to walk everywhere because you're pushing 30 and still don't have your own car. Mikey and his Nikes and all.
See, we'd be missing all of this great content if I hadn't coerced Knuckles into outing himself!

You're WELCOME, JC BBS community! You are quite welcome INDEED!

- Pinback, the Savior of the Jolt Country BBS.

Robb's like God... but I'm like Jesus!

by Knuckles the CLown » Fri Jan 13, 2006 2:24 am

it always comes down to the car. I don't know (morrowind) I don't play that game anymore.

by Jack Straw » Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:38 am

I don't think the "you" in question is me, but I'll answer anyway:

Xbox original version, yes.
PC, no. Xbox "Game of the Year" edition, no.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Jan 13, 2006 12:59 am

While I have your attention -- do you have a copy of Morrowind?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jan 12, 2006 11:30 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:well hopefully you are rehabbing as dutifully as Willis McGahee and others you share the same injury with, to prevent further trauma.
I am. It's going great. I was playing hockey, you know. That's what finally set it off. I wasn't playing goalie, either, but one of the real positions. Thanks for you support, you're a real swell guy in all this.

Lucky for you all you need is a string from your brain to your fingers and you are good to go. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where are you going to buckle your knee again? On the way to give the Papa Jonh's guy his 12 bucks, or on the way to the soda machine at work! BWHAHAHAH !!!
I don't walk to get my take-out dinner, I drive to it like -- oh, right, you have to walk everywhere because you're pushing 30 and still don't have your own car. Mikey and his Nikes and all.

by Knuckles the CLown » Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:20 pm

well hopefully you are rehabbing as dutifully as Willis McGahee and others you share the same injury with, to prevent further trauma. Lucky for you all you need is a string from your brain to your fingers and you are good to go. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where are you going to buckle your knee again? On the way to give the Papa Jonh's guy his 12 bucks, or on the way to the soda machine at work! BWHAHAHAH !!!

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:07 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:i'm getting the feeling that you tearing your ACL was the greatest thing that ever happend to you. Now you think you can relate.
I'll deal with your "think you can relate" comment in a second.

Yes, it's true. The injury is never far from my mind. Let it be said that the reason it takes "a year" to come back from the injury is because you NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. You NEVER stop thinking that each step you take might cause your knee to buckle and swell again. Have you ever been able to not trust fucking walking? That's what it's like.

Well, I say "never." It's been six months for me, so I can only go that far.

And I love it. Finally, I get to be as insipid and boring as the rest of humanity. Finally, it's my time. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fill a day up with interesting content? I'm not just talking about on here, you chuddy cumstroke, I'm talking about life in general... I don't have any children and my family isn't at loggerheads with one another and I don't technically have any pets that I'm directly responsible for. I guess there is "traffic" but that has become one sentence when I walk in the door. Tonight it was, "Some asshole's truck flipped over and threw nails all over the highway. Jesus Fucking Christ."

So yes, I love the fact that I ... Have An Injury!!!! (imagine angels blowing trumpets right here) And everyone will listen until they want to punch me in the face. I won't stop talking about it, and the harder you strike me the greater the odds that my other knee will buckle and I'll go through the whole thing again. Ha-HA!

By the way, the Saints drafted a guy in the 4th round named Chase Lyman who was a WR that had two torn ACLs. The reason he dropped to the 4th was because apparently he was awesome when he was on the field. He tore his right ACL a second time in training camp, in what may be the most predictable injury ever. Here. I'll predict that he makes it to #4 in training camp this year. I CAN RELATE, CHASE!

by Knuckles the CLown » Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:58 pm

i'm getting the feeling that you tearing your ACL was the greatest thing that ever happend to you. Now you think you can relate.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:48 pm

Carson Palmer's knee injury is described as "potentially career ending." Let's get the news from the doctor who performed the operation.
Dr. Lonnie Paulos wrote:"On a scale of one to three, it was a four," he said. "It was off the chart. It was pretty badly damaged -- shredded is the better term."
On a scale of one to three it was a four? Ahhhh! You got us, doc! Thank Christ that on a scale of one to one hundred it wasn't a 102! Thank fuck!

I wouldn't let someone who talks like that anywhere near my body. The guy who did my ACL spoke perfect English. As soon as they get flustered you wind up with communication problems while you're under the knife and the person who is most concerned with the right stuff getting chopped up is unavailable for comment.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:40 pm

Robb, why do you hate all 31 other football teams?

Tampa Bay Cheerleaders dance to "Rock You Like a Hurricane" during TB-NO game.

(Oh, and that was bummed from Giants fans, who reportedly sang it to New Orleans denizens at our fake "home game" in September.)

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