Off-season football thread

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The following coaches are out:

Jim Haslett, New Orleans
Mike Tice, Minnesota
Mike Sherman, Green Bay
Dom Capers, Houston
Mike Martz, St. Louis

Combine that with two GMs gone in Buffalo and Cleveland, and the Lions looking for a new head coach to replace the previously departed Steve Mariucchi.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Oh.

I flew New Year's Eve. My flight was late from Chicago to Denver and so were several others. I know why one of them was late.

United claimed that the WASHINGTON REDSKINS trashed a plane and left 8 seats destroyed. Way to go, maggots. I have seen nothing about this in the media, so either it didn't get out beyond the airport (shocking) or else United was lying (I'd believe it -- they are the worst airline).

Other stuff I like about flying:

Check ANY commercial for an airline that takes place on the plane, and then tell me if you see all seats in a row full. Of course you don't. They will have the middle seat empty if people need to converse.

The Denver International Airport is my least favorite place on Earth.

[pinback]

Ats my boys!

[greg]

The following coaches are out:

Vermeil as well, albeit for different reasons.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Oh. I saw him crying, but I didn't put it together. I just figured that the sun rose, or set.

[Knuckles the CLown]

Robbb, you're slipping. Posting as "Greg" to pretend a football thread on gamercountry.com is getting replies is the lowest of the low. I'm going to start a weight lifting, NBA and how to meet girls thread. Hopefully "greg" can post there too.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Greg is a real person. I know because he has not wanted to pretend to be Russian or get us to gamble at on-line casinos.

I saw that your boy Peter King there actually filled out an AP MVP vote and it was for Tom Brady. Tom Brady! How does setting a new touchdown record not automatically make you the MVP? The fuck is going on here?

Waitasec, I see that Priest didn't win it in 2003. I'm baffled.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Robb, why do you hate all 31 other football teams?

Tampa Bay Cheerleaders dance to "Rock You Like a Hurricane" during TB-NO game.

(Oh, and that was bummed from Giants fans, who reportedly sang it to New Orleans denizens at our fake "home game" in September.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Carson Palmer's knee injury is described as "potentially career ending." Let's get the news from the doctor who performed the operation.

"On a scale of one to three, it was a four," he said. "It was off the chart. It was pretty badly damaged -- shredded is the better term."

On a scale of one to three it was a four? Ahhhh! You got us, doc! Thank Christ that on a scale of one to one hundred it wasn't a 102! Thank fuck!

I wouldn't let someone who talks like that anywhere near my body. The guy who did my ACL spoke perfect English. As soon as they get flustered you wind up with communication problems while you're under the knife and the person who is most concerned with the right stuff getting chopped up is unavailable for comment.

[Knuckles the CLown]

i'm getting the feeling that you tearing your ACL was the greatest thing that ever happend to you. Now you think you can relate.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

i'm getting the feeling that you tearing your ACL was the greatest thing that ever happend to you. Now you think you can relate.

I'll deal with your "think you can relate" comment in a second.

Yes, it's true. The injury is never far from my mind. Let it be said that the reason it takes "a year" to come back from the injury is because you NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. You NEVER stop thinking that each step you take might cause your knee to buckle and swell again. Have you ever been able to not trust fucking walking? That's what it's like.

Well, I say "never." It's been six months for me, so I can only go that far.

And I love it. Finally, I get to be as insipid and boring as the rest of humanity. Finally, it's my time. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fill a day up with interesting content? I'm not just talking about on here, you chuddy cumstroke, I'm talking about life in general... I don't have any children and my family isn't at loggerheads with one another and I don't technically have any pets that I'm directly responsible for. I guess there is "traffic" but that has become one sentence when I walk in the door. Tonight it was, "Some asshole's truck flipped over and threw nails all over the highway. Jesus Fucking Christ."

So yes, I love the fact that I ... Have An Injury!!!! (imagine angels blowing trumpets right here) And everyone will listen until they want to punch me in the face. I won't stop talking about it, and the harder you strike me the greater the odds that my other knee will buckle and I'll go through the whole thing again. Ha-HA!

By the way, the Saints drafted a guy in the 4th round named Chase Lyman who was a WR that had two torn ACLs. The reason he dropped to the 4th was because apparently he was awesome when he was on the field. He tore his right ACL a second time in training camp, in what may be the most predictable injury ever. Here. I'll predict that he makes it to #4 in training camp this year. I CAN RELATE, CHASE!

[Knuckles the CLown]

well hopefully you are rehabbing as dutifully as Willis McGahee and others you share the same injury with, to prevent further trauma. Lucky for you all you need is a string from your brain to your fingers and you are good to go. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where are you going to buckle your knee again? On the way to give the Papa Jonh's guy his 12 bucks, or on the way to the soda machine at work! BWHAHAHAH !!!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

well hopefully you are rehabbing as dutifully as Willis McGahee and others you share the same injury with, to prevent further trauma.

I am. It's going great. I was playing hockey, you know. That's what finally set it off. I wasn't playing goalie, either, but one of the real positions. Thanks for you support, you're a real swell guy in all this.

Lucky for you all you need is a string from your brain to your fingers and you are good to go. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where are you going to buckle your knee again? On the way to give the Papa Jonh's guy his 12 bucks, or on the way to the soda machine at work! BWHAHAHAH !!!

I don't walk to get my take-out dinner, I drive to it like -- oh, right, you have to walk everywhere because you're pushing 30 and still don't have your own car. Mikey and his Nikes and all.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

While I have your attention -- do you have a copy of Morrowind?

[Jack Straw]

I don't think the "you" in question is me, but I'll answer anyway:

Xbox original version, yes.
PC, no. Xbox "Game of the Year" edition, no.

[Knuckles the CLown]

it always comes down to the car. I don't know (morrowind) I don't play that game anymore.

[pinback]

I don't walk to get my take-out dinner, I drive to it like -- oh, right, you have to walk everywhere because you're pushing 30 and still don't have your own car. Mikey and his Nikes and all.

See, we'd be missing all of this great content if I hadn't coerced Knuckles into outing himself!

You're WELCOME, JC BBS community! You are quite welcome INDEED!

- Pinback, the Savior of the Jolt Country BBS.

Robb's like God... but I'm like Jesus!

[Jack Straw]

when's the resurrection?

[pinback]

When your mother.

[AArdvark]

So yes, I love the fact that I ... Have An Injury!!!! (imagine angels blowing trumpets right here)

THE
VISUAL
STIMULATION
AARDVARK