Welcome back to
Pinback's Women, our ongoing series from the good folks over at the ARMY OF LOVE, where we get the latest weepy, faggy-ass stories about all the chicks that Pinback will almost definitely not be putting the stones to, except for that one bitch who basically never gets off her back in the first place.
And now, on we go!
-------------------------
Name: Lily
Nickname: None available
Picture:
http://www.montorusa.com/photo/lily2.jpg
STATUS: IN PROGRESS
Recent developments:
- Not a goddamn thing.
Possibility of Success: 1% (change: -4%)
Enthusiasm level: Very Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Jana
Nickname: "Checky"
Picture:
http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jana.jpg
STATUS: IN PROGRESS
Recent developments:
-
http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/date.html
- The AIM conversations have cooled noticeably since the above development.
Possibility of Success: 3% (change: -1%)
Enthusiasm level: Medium (was: Very High)
---
Name: Lori Peddle
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: IN PROGRESS
Recent developments:
- Finally got the email back-and-forths going again.
- In my last letter, I sent a link to some pictures of me.
- Will we ever hear from her again?
Possibility of Success: 0.6% (change: +0.3%)
Enthusiasm level: Medium-Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Christy Hofmann
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: PREPARATORY
Recent developments:
- Nothing
Possibility of Success: 0.3% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Sharon
Nickname: "Red"
Picture:
http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/red.jpg
STATUS: TERMINATED
Recent developments:
- With every email, she just seemed to get bitchier and less interesting.
- So I had to cut her loose.
- You lose, baby.
Possibility of Success: 0% (change: -0.1%)
Enthusiasm level: None (was: Very Low)
---
Name: Jessica Rose Campbell
Nickname: "Shortcake"
Picture:
http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jrc.jpg
STATUS: SKANKY WHORE
Recent developments:
- No visits, recently.
- She still plans to leave town in a few weeks.
- I better get my freak on at least once more with this bitch, or people are going to die.
Possibility of Success: 0% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Nauseous (was: Homicidal)
---
Name: Dayna
Nickname: "Vitriola"
Picture: None available (?)
STATUS: IN PROGRESS
Recent developments:
- Met her during the JC BBS Vegas Extravaganza
- Watched her cling to Jonsey most of the time
- But saw that unmistakeable look in her eye which can mean nothing but, "I really wish I could ditch this loser and hop on over to your Motel 6 instead."
Possibility of Success: 0.01% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Uncomfortable (was: Drunk)
---
Name: April
Nickname: None available
Picture:
http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/april.jpg
STATUS: NEW
Pros:
- Appears to be pretty cute.
- Acts like she wants your boy here pretty goddamn bad.
- Has a fun personality, unlike certain Czechoslovakians I won't mention.
Cons:
- Has 10-year-old daughter.
- And two ex-husbands.
- Lives in Ventura (1.5 hours away from me).
- Possibly religious.
- Possibly dumber than dirt.
Recent developments:
- Will be meeting each other for a lovely dinner date tomorrow (Friday) night.
- Will most likely be offered the couch, should she feel like driving home that late at night would be unsafe.
- But we all know where that leads.
Possibility of Success: 18%
Enthusiasm level: Optimistic
---
This has been:
Pinback's Women, a
Pinback's Army of Love production.
Welcome back to [b]Pinback's Women[/b], our ongoing series from the good folks over at the ARMY OF LOVE, where we get the latest weepy, faggy-ass stories about all the chicks that Pinback will almost definitely not be putting the stones to, except for that one bitch who basically never gets off her back in the first place.
And now, on we go!
-------------------------
Name: Lily
Nickname: None available
Picture: http://www.montorusa.com/photo/lily2.jpg
[b]STATUS: IN PROGRESS[/b]
Recent developments:
- Not a goddamn thing.
Possibility of Success: 1% (change: -4%)
Enthusiasm level: Very Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Jana
Nickname: "Checky"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jana.jpg
[b]STATUS: IN PROGRESS[/b]
Recent developments:
- http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/date.html
- The AIM conversations have cooled noticeably since the above development.
Possibility of Success: 3% (change: -1%)
Enthusiasm level: Medium (was: Very High)
---
Name: Lori Peddle
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
[b]STATUS: IN PROGRESS[/b]
Recent developments:
- Finally got the email back-and-forths going again.
- In my last letter, I sent a link to some pictures of me.
- Will we ever hear from her again?
Possibility of Success: 0.6% (change: +0.3%)
Enthusiasm level: Medium-Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Christy Hofmann
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
[b]STATUS: PREPARATORY[/b]
Recent developments:
- Nothing
Possibility of Success: 0.3% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Low (was: Low)
---
Name: Sharon
Nickname: "Red"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/red.jpg
[b]STATUS: TERMINATED[/b]
Recent developments:
- With every email, she just seemed to get bitchier and less interesting.
- So I had to cut her loose.
- You lose, baby.
Possibility of Success: 0% (change: -0.1%)
Enthusiasm level: None (was: Very Low)
---
Name: Jessica Rose Campbell
Nickname: "Shortcake"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jrc.jpg
[b]STATUS: SKANKY WHORE[/b]
Recent developments:
- No visits, recently.
- She still plans to leave town in a few weeks.
- I better get my freak on at least once more with this bitch, or people are going to die.
Possibility of Success: 0% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Nauseous (was: Homicidal)
---
Name: Dayna
Nickname: "Vitriola"
Picture: None available (?)
[b]STATUS: IN PROGRESS[/b]
Recent developments:
- Met her during the JC BBS Vegas Extravaganza
- Watched her cling to Jonsey most of the time
- But saw that unmistakeable look in her eye which can mean nothing but, "I really wish I could ditch this loser and hop on over to your Motel 6 instead."
Possibility of Success: 0.01% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Uncomfortable (was: Drunk)
---
Name: April
Nickname: None available
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/april.jpg
[b]STATUS: NEW[/b]
Pros:
- Appears to be pretty cute.
- Acts like she wants your boy here pretty goddamn bad.
- Has a fun personality, unlike certain Czechoslovakians I won't mention.
Cons:
- Has 10-year-old daughter.
- And two ex-husbands.
- Lives in Ventura (1.5 hours away from me).
- Possibly religious.
- Possibly dumber than dirt.
Recent developments:
- Will be meeting each other for a lovely dinner date tomorrow (Friday) night.
- Will most likely be offered the couch, should she feel like driving home that late at night would be unsafe.
- But we all know where that leads.
Possibility of Success: 18%
Enthusiasm level: Optimistic
---
This has been: [b]Pinback's Women[/b], a [i]Pinback's Army of Love[/i] production.