Phone messages

Sports & Music

Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey

Post Reply
User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:22 pm

One of the things I miss about making music is the side effect of creating weird sounds. In between writing and recording songs we'd fool around with other small projects. So, after watching the commercial for Crazy Calls for the thousandth time, we decided to start making our own personalized answering machine messages. These weren't for sale or anything, just something different to put on our parents' machines.
We both had those kind of machines with the mini-cassettes (God, remember those!) Recording them onto a standard four track tape machine and then mixing them down onto a mini cassette was kind of a pain at first but we got good at it after a while. This thread will document some of those recordings, and maybe other stuff as well. So sit back and enjoy!


Cutting wood

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:33 pm

This next one happened after I saw the Saturday Night Live skit where Tom Petty translates for Bob Dylan at an award ceremony.
Believe it or not we started getting people, random people, calling just to hear the new messages. I remember one time I picked up the phone and getting only silence. I asked the person on the line if they wanted to hear the message and they said yes so I hung up. Weird.


Dylan Message

User avatar
Flack
Posts: 5875
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Phone messages

Post by Flack » Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:51 pm

Oh my gosh, this brings back so many good memories!

Our first answering machine used full-sized cassette tapes. I kind of think it even had two tapes! One time my dad ended up with a spare set of tickets for a Sam Kineson show and put an ad in the local paper for them. We came home and the whole tape was filled with people wanting the tickets and doing Sam Kineson impressions.

I eventually had this crappy digital one that was supposed to have a 9-volt battery backup but I never had a battery in it, so everytime the power went out I lost my outgoing message. I was constantly recording new messages for that thing. For a long time I used the first verse from this song as my outgoing message:



Also, that machine had a way to call and remotely hear your messages. I think you hit # and then "9". Not some long sequence of numbers, just "9". Security has come a long way.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Sat Dec 08, 2018 2:48 pm

This one was the sequel to the wood cutting message. The seagull noises are my buddy skreeking into a sampling keyboard and the splash was me jumping into our neighbor's pool. We also used an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube and a bathtub full of water. Ah, the things we used to have to do for foley effects. Today it's all digital and available instantly.

Houseboat Phone Message

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Sat Dec 08, 2018 2:56 pm

This one was only funny because of the condom reference. Whatja expect from two seventeen year olds.

The odd noises were from an old Moog synthesizer controller thingie. I don't remember where it came from. It made the coolest sounds, especially after putting it through a phaser pedal and various other stomp boxes. (more on that later)

Star Trek message

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Sun Dec 09, 2018 10:14 am

This isn't a phone message, it's a response to those monster truck shows they advertise about on the radio. Deep gravelly voiced announcers on meth shouting about how the upcoming show will boost your testosterone, ect. I decided to have the monster trucks run over...well, just listen.


monster Truck Commercial

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Sun Dec 16, 2018 4:34 pm

This is one of the oldest I recorded when I first got my four track machine. Those Casio drums are the quintessential 80's low rent home-recording standby. There are no violins being played on this. I don't know how to play a violin but I can make a guitar sound like one, sort of.


Interlude for Guitar and Violin

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7659
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Re: Phone messages

Post by AArdvark » Sun Dec 16, 2018 4:46 pm

This phone message was inspired by the Outer Limits being re-run on WUHF. Every week we were admonished not to adjust our set because -they- controlled the vertical hold and the horizontal hold. The quality suffered because I erased the original recording and had to get it back from the mini-cassette so there's a lot of over-modulation, oh well. The Mood synth controller made all the noises in this message.


Outer Limits message

User avatar
Tdarcos
Posts: 5195
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
Location: University Park, Maryland
Contact:

Re: Phone messages

Post by Tdarcos » Wed Dec 26, 2018 7:37 pm

I think the late, great, George Carlin supplied "The Final Answer" on answering machines:

The lessons of history teach us - if they teach us anything - that no one learns the lessons of history. tdarcos@tdarcos.com

Post Reply