Jolt Country

Mutants kicking the living hell out of one another for 120 minutes. Nice, nice, nice.

However! Movie Cyclops bears no resemblance to comic Cyclops. Ah, no matter, it was still solid.

Boy I am sure glad Storm didn't turn me into ice to save the day so that my buddy the Dam could get all that screen time.

And the Oscar goes to...The Dam in X2.


What the HELL? Do the X-men take turns using their powers?
Wolverine: I just retracted my claws damn it!
Prof X: I'm a feable old man who was just scanning the Earth, I can't do anything....
Storm: Hey.. I created the meat locker to chill Strykers son. Now he can go shoot Bruce Willis because he sees dead people.
Scott: Hey, I'm completely irrelevent here..next?
Rogue, Ice Boy and the new Guy: We're pissed we didn't get suits, you bitches do it....
Zane Pink aka Cock Tease: Fine I'll do my Yoda impression just to drag this scene out some more....

All but Zane Blue: Awww she's gone
Zane Blue: blub blub blub....

Fanboys: Show Zane Pink's Cold wet nipples!

d

Yeah, they probably dragged the water & dam scene out too long. But man, Nightcrawler was perfect. I would have loved it if they had made a reference to the fact that Cyclops can't exactly cry with his eyes the way they are (as he was certainly shaken up at the end of the thing). Magneto and Wolverine were again dead-on as well.

If I may engage in some fanboyism -- "Needed More Colossus." But then again, that's true of everything.

K. roo, you'll be happy (I think) to know that Colossus did not have a Russian accent in the scenes that he did appear in. A giant, organic steel middle finger was extended to the Motherland.

It was no UHF, but it was good.

The other thing that I liked was that there were no moments where I was groaning due to the bopness of a particular scene, like in virtually all other comic - adapated movies. No:

"THAT LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL? YEAH, THAT'S THE C TRAIN!"

No:

"Do you know what happens to a toad when you hit it with electricity? THE SAME AS EVERYTHING ELSE"

No:

... Well, the entire Nick Fury, Punisher, Captain America and Fantastic Four movies, really. (I have only actually seen the first, but looking at screen grabs for the FF it was so bad it should have caused not only the cancellation of the comic, but the immediate removal of all paper-based communication on this planet, like how they do things on Tattooine.

I don't remember cringing at a particular scene in Spider-Man, so maybe there wasn't a scene like that there. But anyway.

Is UHF the high water mark of film making for you, CGG? Maybe we should start a "top ten movies" thread or something. If I can manage screen grabs for illustrative purposes, perhaps I will.

Sawr it tonight here in Boston. Kick ass!

I really dug Nightcrawler. He's blue, he's pious, he's Hessian, he hangs out in Boston, he teleports. My ears are burning!

Yes, yes, this is all well and good, Jonsey -- but what did you learn from X-Men II?

Check.

I await your response.

I learned to not buy food at the movies.