Jolt Country

[Post Title] Sex

Jack Flack >> Do you think somewhere, anywhere, she has rated your performance similarly?
Ice Cream Jonsey > Not even remotely. There are chicks that I have had really good ... er... what do you call it when you are sexually compatible with someone?

Chemistry.

> I don't know what that is.

I do, and when you find it, it's magical.

[Added Note] I wanted to expand on the above item to tell one story. I met this really classy lady on-line, we chatted by phone and e-mail for about a month before we got to meet in person, the chemistry was perfect, and if it wasn't for the fact she had a prior appointment we'd probably have gone to a motel on our first date.

What was her prior appointment? She had to drive her son 400 miles to a motel so he could have sex with the girl he met on the Internet on their first date! (I told you she was a classy lady.)

So I compromised. I fingerfucked her in the car and we went to a motel on our second date. Yeah, when the chemistry is perfect, it can be magical.

> There are some chicks that I was really,
> really on the same wavelength with.

To quote Lawrence Fishburne in "The Matrix," I know exactly what you mean.

> SHE is on my wavelength, but no, I am not nearly
> on hers. I am trying though!

You could try reading some of my suggestions from Yahoo Answers. See the duplicate of this on Jolt Country for clickable links.

These work even if the girl isn't a virgin, mostly they're with better ways to please her, and if she is one, how to make her first time hurt less or maybe not hurt at all. You may know these, but you'd be surprised how many supposedly experienced guys have no clue how to really please a woman.


Is 17 ok (for a girl) to lose your virginity and does it hurt? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 046AAdiGl3
I'm (a guy) losing my virginity tomorrow, tips please? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 546AAaA33U
I'm a virgin but my boyfriend isn't? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 423AAT1JTo
How can I have an orgasm during sex? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 924AAGkHc3

I think BBS conversations were meant to stay on the BBS and not be re-posted publicly on a message board that gets indexed by Google. At least that was my interpretation.

Which one is "my BBS"?

Flack is right. THe ENTIRE point of the telnet BBSs was so that this shit wouldn't be indexed by Google.

What the fuck is fucking wrong with you? Jesus Christ!

pinback wrote:Which one is "my BBS"?

The Night Owl BBS... unless I missed something?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Flack is right. THe ENTIRE point of the telnet BBSs was so that this shit wouldn't be indexed by Google.

What the fuck is fucking wrong with you? Jesus Christ!

Oh please, try not to blow this all out of proportion. Why don't you just either put a robots.txt file up or if you're that upset, remove the item. Do you really think it matters? It's not like anyone is discussing anything we wouldn't want other people to see.

Do you really think anyone other than maybe the 10 or so people who probably visit this board are even going to notice it?

I'll remember never to try to offer you any suggestions ever again or in a form that makes it easy to use the links as opposed to one that it is almost impossible to access them. (I saw no copy function in the telnet program.)

I'm sorry I bothered; I'm sorry that my attempts to help have in some way injured you; and I shall not make offers of help for you in the future.

Tdarcos wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Flack is right. THe ENTIRE point of the telnet BBSs was so that this shit wouldn't be indexed by Google.

What the fuck is fucking wrong with you? Jesus Christ!

Oh please, try not to blow this all out of proportion. Why don't you just either put a robots.txt file up or if you're that upset, remove the item. Do you really think it matters? It's not like anyone is discussing anything we wouldn't want other people to see.

You autistic fucking fuck. You harvest content from some telnet BBS and rather than apologize, you say "put a robots.txt file up for the whole site." You really are a piece of work. I'll go modify the very fabric of this 11-year+ website to suit you, no prob. Here's hoping I can do it in Pascal.

Do you really think anyone other than maybe the 10 or so people who probably visit this board are even going to notice it

You are human garbage sometimes.

I'll remember never to try to offer you any suggestions ever again or in a form that makes it easy to use the links as opposed to one that it is almost impossible to access them. (I saw no copy function in the telnet program.)

I am letting go of the fact that you think you are offering valuable sexual intimacy advice, Paul. The fact that you are stating you have had the sort of intense physical connection with a woman, breathing, that the rest of us can only hope for. You get that one for free. Because I'm a cool dude, because I;m a NICE GUY I am letting that go. LETTING IT WASH OVER US UNSPOKEN.

I'm sorry I bothered; I'm sorry that my attempts to help have in some way injured you; and I shall not make offers of help for you in the future.

Good! Also, why not try apologizing for once, you Gerber.

Wow. This BBS thing sounds like a happening place.

There was a flicker of beauty in this thread...

...but now it's gone.

For anyone else blessed enough to have witnessed it, we will always have the memory, even though the maggot sysop deleted it.

The more I think about this, the angrier I get. It's not even that Paul dug around Ben's old telnet BBS and tried to reply here. It's not even that Paul is laughably trying to insinuate that he is some amazing lover. It's mostly that called on his autistic sperging, he can't even fucking apologize.

Tdarcos wrote:Chemistry.

> I don't know what that is.

I do, and when you find it, it's magical.

You are so full of shit. You are SO FUCKING FULL OF SHIT FUCK YOU. Listen up, you autistic piece of human detritus. You don't "know what sexual chemistry" is like, you abortion. That far-away look in a girl's eye you might have seen is her trying to catalog the quickest exits because you passionately said you want to rape her. You have never had any sort of "magic" or any of the other words I could sneer quote.

You need to learn some fucking lessons because you clearly don't know your place in the pecking order of life. You aren't a computer programmer. Any skills you had went obsolete 30 years ago. You aren't some exiled romantic, either, who for even one second was truly alive. You are a cross between a tree trunk and a melted ice cream cone.

If you did once trick some poor woman into bed once in your life, Casa No Va, you should mark the occassion annually by sending her a rape kit. KNOW YOUR PLACE, YOU SPERGING FAUCET OF SHIT

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The more I think about this, the angrier I get. It's not even that Paul dug around Ben's old telnet BBS and tried to reply here. It's not even that Paul is laughably trying to insinuate that he is some amazing lover. It's mostly that called on his autistic sperging

What do you mean by "autistic sperging"?

Sperging is generally defined as an angry tirade over minutia.

The definition of autism is "a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts."

That "and" implies a conjoined condition, all three of inability to have relationships, inability to use language, and inability to use abstract concepts.

I think that at least the last two are false and I know the first one is. As a child I might have had problems because other kids often don't want to bother with a fat kid, but have had friendships with other people over the years. Many in person and some with people I have not met.

Another reason that clearly, the term does not apply to me is that I've had the ability to use language since I was very young. I have been told I started reading text at the age of three.

If you think I am incapable of using language, why did you want me to write reviews of several video games? Why do you think I should do cooking videos if I lack the capability to use language and thus are incapable of explaining myself? Why should I waste time doing a video when, by your own words, I am aspergic and therefore incapable of making a video where someone else could understand me?

he can't even fucking apologize.

I would apologize if I thought I did something wrong. This whole conversation seems more like a case of "pot calling the kettle black," or, as I sometimes like to say, "saucepan calling the frying pan aluminum cookware."

You're going on a huge angry rant over some minor minutia, then accuse me of doing the exact same thing.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:Chemistry.

> I don't know what that is.

I do, and when you find it, it's magical.

You are so full of shit. You are SO FUCKING FULL OF SHIT FUCK YOU. Listen up, you autistic piece of human detritus. You don't "know what sexual chemistry" is like, you abortion.

Why are you holding back? Why not tell me what you really think?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:That far-away look in a girl's eye you might have seen is her trying to catalog the quickest exits because you passionately said you want to rape her.

How exactly did I say I want to rape someone? "Rape" means to take by force or lack of consent. When and where did I ever say I wanted to take sex, by force, or by her being unconscious, or that by anything other than her consent?

When, and where?

You have never had any sort of "magic" or any of the other words I could sneer quote.

I find it a shame that you believe such a thing. I have, and whether you choose to believe it is not my problem. I present my own experience as it has happened to me.

You need to learn some fucking lessons because you clearly don't know your place in the pecking order of life. You aren't a computer programmer.

I think the people for whom I have done work to solve their problems would disagree.

What I use to solve problems if I'm given the choice are sometimes different from what a customer might use to solve their problem if they chose the solution. I like simple solutions. I like easy solutions. I like things that work the first time and that work right. I like using the best tool available to solve the problem.

Any skills you had went obsolete 30 years ago.

I think the people who I have used my skills to solve their problems this year would disagree. Which supposedly included you. Or did you lie when you said my solution to your problem was good? Or are you now changing your mind and claiming you are dissatisfied with the solution I sold you?

You aren't some exiled romantic, either, who for even one second was truly alive. You are a cross between a tree trunk and a melted ice cream cone.

That would be an interesting attempt at genetic engineering.

If you did once trick

Trick? Trick? What do you mean by trick? I meet some nice lady in person. She decides she likes me. Where is the trick? What exactly have I done wrong?

some poor woman into bed once in your life,

More than once and more than one woman.

Casa No Va, you should mark the occassion annually by sending her a rape kit.

In at least one case a lady I was seeing came by my house, on her own, and after a few minutes was racing me to the bedroom and to get our clothes off. I suppose she did that because she was disappointed with what I did to her and how horribly I treated her. </sarcasm>

KNOW YOUR PLACE, YOU SPERGING FAUCET OF SHIT

You know, in the last week or so you have both praised my skills as a programmer then denigrated them. Are you suffering from schizophrenia or off your medications, or do you just say two different things on a regular basis?

Like I said in the other thread, we all genuinely enjoy the cooking videos. Why don't we let this thread drift off into nothingness and discuss cooking videos.

What do you want to have happen in exchange for a new cooking video? For me to not mention it on Caltrops?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Like I said in the other thread

You also misuse the English language, this being one of my pet peeves. The correct phrasing is "as I said," the use of "like I said," is not correct.

I think that goes along with the number of people who use "e.g." when they mean "i.e." I love when I can use "e.g." because it's usually rare, e.g. when someone gives a proper explanation, i.e. a means to define, describe or clarify.

In the above paragraph, I have used both i.e. and e.g. in the correct manner. E.g. means "for example" and i.e. means "that is."

Just like I point out that "the" is not capitalized in the middle of a sentence unless it is part of the title of something. Prince George's County Maryland's bus system has the silly name of "The Bus," which means that it is both proper and appropriate to capitalize the word "the" in this sentence, but it is not appropriate to capitalize the word "the" when used anywhere else in this sentence.

Also, in the above paragraph I am using "like" in the correct form.

So, in Prince George's County, Maryland, I ride The Bus. In Montgomery County, the bus there is called Ride-On.

Flack wrote:(Link to Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People)

You might direct that pirated work to Jonsey. Has Dale Carnegie's estate decided to either abandon the copyright or release it in the equivalent of something like Creative Commons?

In Abbie Hoffman's "Steal This Book," he specifically gives permission to reprint parts of it. Since he committed suicide a few years ago there's probably nobody left who could sue anyway.

Tdarcos wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Like I said in the other thread

You also misuse the English language, this being one of my pet peeves. The correct phrasing is "as I said," the use of "like I said," is not correct.

Hey, that's really interesting. You know what my pet peeves are? Autistic spambots going over their 10 line limit, when they gave their word they wouldn't. I also hate stupid quotes that have nothing to do with the topic at hand being plastered all over the BBS.

Like I said in the other thread, eat a bag of garbage.

("Like I said" is perfectly fine grammar, by the way. So you're wrong to have a problem with it. It's short for "This is like what I said in the other thread." "As" wouldn't work there. )

Tdarcos wrote:

Flack wrote:(Link to Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People)

You might direct that pirated work to Jonsey.

What world are you living in? You are completely uncouth and never know what's going on. Everyone around here thinks it's great that I call you out on what a selfish person you are.

Tdarcos wrote:Sperging is generally defined as an angry tirade over minutia.

Yep. You sperg all the time because you are 100% autistic and suffering from Asperger's.

The definition of autism is "a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts."

Very good! This is what you have.

I think that at least the last two are false and I know the first one is.

Well, you'd be wrong. Maybe you shouldn't self-diagnose this.

I would apologize if I thought I did something wrong. This whole conversation seems more like a case of "pot calling the kettle black," or, as I sometimes like to say, "saucepan calling the frying pan aluminum cookware."

Hey DICKHEAD. Posting shit from a BBS that everyone agreed was private IS WRONG. But you can't apologize because you're autistic.

OK, forget everything else. If you go over 10 lines again I'm deleting your account and every post you've ever made on this BBS.

Ass burgers. LOLOL

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What world are you living in? You are completely uncouth and never know what's going on. Everyone around here thinks it's great that I call you out on what a selfish person you are.

It's honestly the best part of coming here for me. I wonder whose turn it will be next time?