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I'll Tell You What: the NFL thread

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:58 am
by Ice Cream Jonsey
So here we go, the NFL season has started.

I'll tell you what.

"I'll tell you what."

We must endure this tic. But everyone announcing NFL games is saying it. I just heard it on consecutive sentences from Daryl Johnson and Tony Siragusa. Once you listen for it, it will make you feel like shooting yourself.

I'll tell you what.

Anyway, my prediction for the Super Bowl is Seattle 20, Denver 17.

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:39 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
I have a British feed going for the games and this is amazing. They don't speak in cliches. There aren't 10 people "in the studio." They aren't know-it-alls. This is how the NFL is meant to be enjoyed.

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:53 pm
by AArdvark
Amazing how it takes a foreign country to bring us news and sports in a manner that's palatable to above average intelligences.

I wonder if the Brits tune into ESPN for cricket matches and socc....football coverage.


THE
BBC GO-TO
AARDVARK

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 4:34 pm
by lethargic
What I hate is all the fake laughter. The way sports commentators laugh at each other you'd think every game was called by George Carlin and Richard Pryor.

The studio shows are even worse. It's just a bunch of moron lunkheads sitting around talking football and laughing hysterically.

Sports Illustrated actually did an article on this a few years ago. The writer took a bunch of clips of the CBS show and showed them to Marino and asked him to explain why he was laughing. His answer was something along the lines of "uhh...umm...well...arrrrr...I dunno?"

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:20 pm
by pinback
Let me tell you what.

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 12:42 pm
by gsdgsd
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I have a British feed going for the games and this is amazing. They don't speak in cliches. There aren't 10 people "in the studio." They aren't know-it-alls. This is how the NFL is meant to be enjoyed.
Maybe because it's "foreign," they just don't assume everyone knows what's going on, and they have to concentrate on content rather than "boom" and all that shit?

I can vouch that English soccer coverage is pretty maddening -- it's more comparable to baseball, though, with fixation on a vague "proper way to play the game," etc. Plus they've got the accents so at least it sounds classy.

BRONCOS

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:22 am
by tombstone
BRONCOS

(We're gonna lose in the AFC Championship Game because that's just the way it works, but until then...)

BRONCOS

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:02 pm
by Jizaboz
GUHYO PAROHLIIINAHH CAAANTHARRRRRSSSS

(Go Carolina Panthers)

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:20 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
I'll tell you what, I caught the first half of the Broncos game last night and they look invincible. And three of their top five players aren't playing.

Posted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:04 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
AArdvark wrote:Amazing how it takes a foreign country to bring us news and sports in a manner that's palatable to above average intelligences.

I wonder if the Brits tune into ESPN for cricket matches and socc....football coverage.
I found a different site thanks to gsdgsd, so I haven't been back to the English announcers.

But for a time.... it was wonderful.

Re: BRONCOS

Posted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:05 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
tombstone wrote:BRONCOS

(We're gonna lose in the AFC Championship Game because that's just the way it works, but until then...)

BRONCOS
They do look unbeatable. I said to my girl yesterday that the two best teams were the Broncos and Saints. She told me that Vegas odds have the Broncos and Seahawks as the most likely to go to the Super Bowl. How does she know Vegas odds, Tombstone????

Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:49 am
by tombstone
Making
Book

(pretend that's in the Breaking Bad font)

You never want to be the Skyler in this situation, ICJ.

Posted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:55 am
by Ice Cream Jonsey
Agreed. Nobody tell her, but I bought tickets for this Sunday's game as a surprise. So we're going to go see them stomp the Eagles. CAW CAW!

Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:17 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
I took my girl to the Broncos/Eagles game.

Or, I should say, the Broncos game.

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:08 am
by pinback
Shouldn't they just cancel the rest of the season, save the time, and pronounce the Broncos the winners? What the hell is the point of this?

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 7:55 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
It does seem like they clearly put the best team together and are getting a top-10 linebacker back in three games. The rest of us are playing out the string. Well, the players are.

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:56 pm
by pinback
Also, more than any other year I can remember, every team is terrible, because every player was declared out for the season or a murderer during the first week into the preseason.

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:07 pm
by AArdvark
I tellya what, dem Saints got robbbbed!


THE
LIVE FROM
MASS
AARDVARK

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:35 pm
by pinback
How does Tommy Brady get three tries to score in the last 3:20 of a football game?

I demand answers. I mainly demand answers because after he tossed the pick on the second attempt, I figured there was no way he'd get it back a third time so I stopped watching for three minutes, so I literally want to know the answer.

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:28 am
by ICJ
The computer that wrote up the game that I played against gsdgsd this week thinks we both suck.

A "good" week has a team scoring 100 points, for reference...
Mr. Bandwidth made sure that they didn't become the 5th straight team to lose to Melville's Tragic Loners. In the only close game this week, Mr. Bandwidth just barely got past Melville's Tragic Loners, winning 59.37 to 57.89. Coach Robb Sherwin should thank their lucky stars they drew Melville's Tragic Loners for this week's contest, since their squad would have lost to EVERY other team this week.

Mr. Bandwidth has now won five games in a row, which brings their record to 5 - 1. The loss drops Melville's Tragic Loners' record to 4 - 2.

Mr. Bandwidth had a terrible Sunday. They had eight laggards, with Robert Griffin III's 9 points being the worst performance. Underperforming is the new normal for RG3, who has gone three straight games without hitting his projected point total.

Mr. Bandwidth were also hurt by Cecil Shorts falling 9 points short of the average wide receiver. Shorts’ day was, well, short, playing only three snaps before leaving the game with a sprain in his AC joint.

Meanwhile, Melville's Tragic Loners were doing just as bad. James Jones was the worst of a seven man group of underperformers, scoring only 1 point. Jones got injured blocking on a routine sweep during the first quarter, but the good news is that it is a PCL sprain and he could play as early as next week.

It was absolutely anybody's game going into Monday night. Coach Robb Sherwin needed Danny Woodhead and Robert Mathis to outscore Andrew Luck by 0.6 points.

Luck was terrible, scoring 6 points, making it easy for Mr. Bandwidth. Woodhead and Mathis didn't do great, but they did enough, dropping 8.1 points to win the game.

Coach Robb Sherwin can pat themself on the back for this week's victory. They left Brandon Myers and his 3.9 expected points on the bench, favoring Benjamin Watson (1 point expected).

This decision boosted Mr. Bandwidth's final score by 5 points, which was the difference in the game. In winning the game, Coach Robb Sherwin repeated their week two performance, when their lineup moves pushed their squad over the top.

Melville's Tragic Loners will face off against Soul Cages next week. Good timing, as Soul Cages will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak. Melville's Tragic Loners was the hardest test Mr. Bandwidth will face for a while, as its next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with BALLZ DEEP next week.