Jolt Country

This is Master's Week.

This is the most important week of the year.

This is when the hallowed ground of golf's past barrels square into the working end of the modern era, and the entire golf world comes together for four mythical, mystical days in Augusta, Georgia.

This is also the week that Tiger goes for his unprecented third straight Masters victory.

Jack didn't do it. Arnie didn't do it. Nobody's done it.

Tiger is the odds-on favor to do it this week.

If Tiger wins, he will make history in more ways than that:

1. He will have won four Masters at the age of 27, a feat that it took Arnold Palmer (the "King") his entire life to achieve.

2. He will have nine professional major victories, halfway to Jack's immortal record, and thus, halfway to officially becoming the greatest golfer to ever live (though anyone who's paying any serious attention knows that this is already the case.)

3. He will be the only man that I would be willing to abandon heterosexuality to make my own.

There is no week like Master's Week. Please, enjoy it to its fullest. It will not come around again until April, 2004.

(And Martha Burk is an asshole.)

TIGERCAST 2003 AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW I HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM THIS BBS BY THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR.

I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED YOUR WORK AND WHETHER THE REVERSE IS TRUE OR NOT I HOPE YOU WILL RESPECT MY REQUEST TO DEMAND OF THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR THAT HE RESCIND MY BANNING AND ALLOW ME TO FREELY MONITOR THE BASES.

WILL YOU DO THAT TIGERCAST 2003?

n/t

TigerCast 2003 wrote: (And Martha Burk is an asshole.)

Interesting to note that Al-Qaeda is more open to female membership than Augusta.

Bruce

I am sorry, Base Monitor, I have no knowledge of either you or your apparent "banning" (though: how can you be "banned" if you are still able to post here?) However, I feel it's important that I reiterate how important this week is, for those readers who may not fully comprehend the significance of "Masters Week" (incorrectly apostrophied in the previous messagse, I apologize.)

o "The Masters" is one of four "majors" that is played each year in the golf world. The others are the "British Open", the "U.S. Open", and the "PGA Championship", in vague order of stature and importance.

o A "major" is significant for three reasons:
- All of the best players from all over the world play them.
- A great deal of history is associated with them.
- They are often set up extremely difficultly, so that even par becomes a good score.

o A "major" is primarily significant, though, for this reason:
- A golfer's legacy is defined by the number of his "major" victories. To wit: Phil Mickelson is one of the greatest golfers to ever live. However, if he fails to win a major in his career, he will never approach the historical stature of even a Davis Love III, who managed to win a PGA several years back. "Majors" are what golf is all about.

o For a Tiger Woods fan, "majors" are even more significant, because WE know that HE knows that "majors" are what golf is all about. He has stated since his teens that his goal is to beat Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 professional majors. This is what it's all leading up to. Every other round of golf that Tiger plays is preparing for four weeks out of each year.

And this is one of those weeks. And this is arguably the biggest of the weeks.

Many will (and with cause) argue that the British Open, being the richest in history, and being played often in the birthplace of golf, carries the prestige prize, but in a sports year that essentially has four Super Bowls, I'll tell you right now:

The Masters is the SUPEREST Super Bowl.

This is the Super Bowl, Daytona 500, and World Series of Poker all rolled into one.

This is golf.

Am I making myself clear?

bruce wrote:

TigerCast 2003 wrote: (And Martha Burk is an asshole.)

Interesting to note that Al-Qaeda is more open to female membership than Augusta.

Bruce

This is, of course, patently offensive and inappopriate. Women may play at Augusta to their hearts' content, and they need not even wear burkas.

"Burk-as". The bitter irony.

God bless our troops and the work they are doing for the safety of our country.

Hey, TigerCast, help me out with this:

CNN wrote: A one-man faction of the Ku Klux Klan, who lists Tiger Woods as his favorite golfer, will support Augusta National's rights to private membership.

Someone sounds very confused here. Other than me, I mean.

Bruce

Isn't Nicklaus still the greatest golfer ever, then? I mean, he did everything that Tiger did and didn't have the benefit of modern training and conditioning. Plus, his peers didn't melt as soon as they saw him like the wicked witch of the west taking a cold shower.

Won't Tiger have to do this for YEARS to even approach what Nicklaus accomplished?

And couldn't a bear beat up a tiger?

One can appreciate a golfer purely on the merits of his skill at the game, without necessarily approving of the person himself. For instance, if Saddam Hussein was the finest sculptor in the world, one could say "Saddam Hussein is my favorite sculptor", without condoning the man or his politics.

Note, this message is in no way intended to liken Tiger Woods to Saddam Hussein.

God Bless Our Troops.

Saddam, a golden bear and a tiger all in a cage -- who comes out alive?

TigerCast2003, THIS is the shit that you need to decide for us. The Woods updates are appreciated, and quite valued, but you need to decide the outcome of various kinds of mortal combat for us, too.

I do not feel that that is an appropriate topic for discussion, particularly during Masters Week, and particularly when our troops are fighting for our freedom.

How's it going???

Round 1 is TOMORROW.

This is EXTREMELY EXCITING.

Can you feel the anticipation building? Can you feel it?

I can feel it.

I feel it! I feel nervous!

I can't tell if it's because I am dorking around on the Internet on company time or if it's because of the Masters!

Maybe both!

Tiger's round 1 tee time: 11:14 AM EST.

It was definitely the Masters! I am still nervous!

I will send your... I mean, Ben's dollar tomorrow!

Help me!

tell u what y dont we go double or nothing, if tIger wins u owe me $2 otherwise were even...

You're on.

Ha ha ha!!! I suckered you in with my "faux-drunk" impersonation, leading you to believe I was making a wager at a time when my decisionmaking was not at its pinnacle!

However, you were incorrect, as I am fully in control of my mental, as well as financial, faculties!

Oh, how I pity you. Perhaps your $2 will help ease my discomfort!

:o