Jolt Country

After having watched it I have to think that wasn't her first time. I mean, obviously it wasn't her first time as she rose to fame on a show about being 16 and pregnant, but still... yeah. Just sayin', she does ass-to-mouth like a pro.

I have no idea who this person is.

Farrah was one of the four stars of the original MTV show, "16 and Pregnant," which turned into Teen Moms. There were two seasons of Teen Moms, and two seasons of Teen Moms 2. I lost interest with Teen Moms 2, never watched it. But in Teen Moms the original, there were four moms. I forget their names, but one gave her kid up for adoption, one broke up with the dad and dates another guy, one is constantly being arrested for domestics and is always on TMZ, and Farrah is the fourth. Farrah's baby daddy died in a car wreck while she was pregnant. She's a spoiled rich kid and her parents are crazy. It's some of the best reality television ever, I swear.

So Farrah was on MTV for two years and made her money and then went through what every child actor ever went through. Nobody called her, nobody cared what she was up to, it was over. So, she used her MTV money and got a nose job and a boob job and got in the news for a week or so. Then everybody stopped caring again. So a month or so ago she hired James Deen (the porn actor) and shot a porn video... only the angle was, it was supposed to be a secret and was then going to be "leaked" as a sex tape even though she hired the guy and it was shot (supposedly) in a Vivid studio. So the idea was that they were going to say it was a real sex tape and then "leak" it, but instead James Deen spoiled the secret and so Farrah was like screw it (literally) and went into Vivid and sold the tape for $1.5 million.

Back to the girl's family, who is religious and said "no, no, no, this isn't real, there is no tape!" and Farrah said "there is no tape!" and then she sold the tape and the mom kicked her out of the house. Oh, and supposedly Farrah took her daughter to the Vivid studio -- not to the shoot, but at least to the meetings. It's just a big ass bottle of classy juice, all the way around.

Vivid is streaming the video exclusively on their website for a week before the sales go up, but someone already ripped it and upped it everywhere.

The video has three sections. To keep this as clean as possible, there's a bedroom scene, a shower scene, and a scene that takes place in the back of the limo. The shower scene is just Farrah in the shower. The limo scene is Farrah pleasing Farrah. The bedroom scene is what you think it is, putting what you think into all the places you can imagine. The video ends with an abnormally long "snuggling" scene which I'm guessing was put there to make you think that this was a leaked tape.

It's hard not to feel sorry for Farrah, yet another starlet the reality circuit ate up and spit out. Is $1.5 million enough to cover 10 years from now when her daughter Googles mommy's name and pictures from this video pop up?

If Chyna isn't in it I don't care.

How does the Chyna film(s) compare to the Tonya Harding one? There's something deliciously trashy about filming a sex tape in your wedding gown.

I don't know about the Chyna sex tape, but her real porn movie is disturbing. I only watched the censored trailer and that was enough. It's creepy, sad, disgusting and heartbreaking. It scarred me for life. Only a complete psychopath could get pleasure out of watching this.

Cool, getting it now.