We babysat Melissa's nephew this weekend. She suggested that we all watch Wreck-It Ralph together last night. (The two of them originally saw it during its original theatrical release.)
My
initial "Comic Book Guy"-style objections were that Disney should make their own movie instead of harvesting the IP of a generation gone by to fill their own coffers. But since that time, I have come to realize that [url=http://pretendILinkedToPinnochioAndSleepingBeautyAndAlaadanAndSoForthThanks.com]that's what Disney does[/url]. That's ALL they do anymore. According to IMDB, there hasn't been a full-length Mickey Mouse movie in 10 years. If they are going to Garbage Day the basic fucking laws and rights in this country to protect that shitty character, maybe they could put him in a movie more than once a decade.
Er, anyway.
Wreck-It Ralph is trite, laughably over-sentimental and over-acted. It contains the same number of anthropomorphic nouns as all the Pixar movies, which I cannot stand. I would have found ways to secretly use my cellular phone during its run time, except that there's a few bits that are really great.
I liked that the writers of the screenplay were all onboard with how terrible modern video games are. The "Medal of Hero" or whatever was especially solid because I imagine that the developers of Gears of War or Call of Duty or Medal of Honor or Of of Of all went, as a company, to see this videogame movie and had to sit quietly while the film said that all their work is shit. All their work is shit. I'm sure that if this happened, half of them were too stupid to get it.
While the Candy Crush bits take up the last 2/3rds of the film as Flack said, you have to like the fact that when the arcade-based antagonist jumped into a modern game to become the worst person in the world, he decided to become a
King. When millennials start talking about how Pixar nonsense has LOADS of stuff for adults that they are full of shit, but in this case it's actually true.
And anyone that doesn't like how one guy is both Dr. Steve Brule and Wreck-It Ralph has no soul. I would have paid extra if at one point Ralph just said "
I know" to the Glitch.
Seeing all the arcade characters in the background was OK, but I maintain that Disney could have just funded a freaking Dig Dug film or whatever. My objections
still stand, you monsters. The best supporting actor award in 2012 went to Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained. WELLLL while Pinback and I would both agree that the real winner should have been Phillip Seymour Hoffman, I'd like you all to
entertain the idea that Q*bert should have at least received a goddamn nomination. Christoph wasn't the only one capable of performing in a foreign language.
I can't dislike this movie, and boy I wanted to. The fact that they picked RoadBlasters and rendered a RoadBlasters cabinet and used that instead of doing what 99% of all scriptwriters would have done, which is use their own shitty game idea because of their out-of-control egos, makes it a good movie. I'm willing to say it is a good movie. Nobody is more shocked than I am. But let's not get crazy and forget to thank God it was only 101 minutes.
POST-SCRIPT
I really hope that Alan Tudyk and Charles Fleischer are friends, because that Tudyk's performance was basically an impression.
POST-POST SCRIPT
(This is the sort of statement that makes me seem like a huge prick when Tudyk shows up and says, "Actually, Charles was their first choice, but he is going through Stage Four trenchlip treatments, after acquiring the disease saving a busload of Great Dane puppy orphans from foam-mouthed Frackers. Charles specifically asked that I perform instead. We are now close friends, and a portion of my salary was donated to humanitarian causes. I also saved an I, Robot from being turned into an Arkanoid during filming."
Being serious, the fact that Tudyk is capable of completely becoming Charles Fleischer as Roger Rabbit as Turbo as King Candy, all in voice, is jaw-dropping.)