Jolt Country

Look, there's an elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. And that elephant is: we sort of ruined the planet and now it's 100 degrees all the time.

Whoops!

So it is likely that this will be the last jersey thread on the Internet. Especially for hockey jerseys. The reason is because there will be absolutely nowhere to wear them, unless you are actually playing hockey.

I was a Philadelphia Flyers fan for a long time. Then I "met" some fans of the Eagles and Phillies over the Internet and realized that virtually all sports fans from Philadelphia exist as little more than compact human garbage. I grew up somewhat close to the Buffalo Sabres and always had a fondness for them (hell, every pro game I've ever been to, either the Avs or Sabres have been playing) so I decided to make the switch.

Years later, I realize: I need a jersey!!

Here is the one I want:



The home Pat LaFontaine jersey when I was a freshman in college. This is the jersey he wore in NHL '94 as well.

However, I guess you have to ask -- do the Chinese jerseys do this better??! Because they are sure as hell cheaper.

That being said, this looks just like the other pic:



... but with different lighting. So I have doubts that the Chinese version will look that good! Internet doubts!

DEnizens, what jerseys have you purchased lately, and what are you considering buying now??!

Jersey rundown:

Football:
Buccaneers -- Alstott (destroyed, neck hole so big I can fit my whole body through it)
Cadillac Williams (useful if I'm in a place where people remember when Cadillac Williams was supposed to be good)
Winslow creamsicle (useful if I'm in a place where I hate everyone)

Broncos -- Elway AFL throwback (ugly but appealing)
Elway modern style
Bailey modern style

and a Matt Leinart Cardinals if I want to alienate everyone

Soccer -- every Liverpool shirt I get, the player's gone soon:

Torres 2010 -- off to Chelsea
Jovanovic 2011 -- off to Belgium
Agger 2012 -- team trying desperately to sell him, at last report he'd got Liverpool tattoos on his knuckles in an attempt to hang on.

I was going to get a Kosuke Kimura Rapids jersey; they shipped him off to Portland.

Hockey -- too many to count. Several Thrashers jerseys that are now just a sad reminder of the past. Avalanche Kamensky (long gone) and Hejduk (hanging on). A whole bunch of European jerseys...

...and one old-school Sabres LaFontaine. Really.

Baseball/Basketball: n/a

A few years ago for OVGE, I asked Susan to buy me a hockey jersey. I asked for it to be back with flames, and to be a little long because I didn't want my belly hanging out the front.

Susan ordered a jersey and said, "my husband wants a hockey jersey, with long sleeves, and make it extra long."

When I got the jersey, as you might expect, the waist was normal length and the sleeves go down to my knees.

I have two other jerseys but they are both football jerseys (OU and Da Bears), not hockey jerseys.

Until 1994, my family was made primarily of die hard LA Ram fanatics who would recite colorful stories of Eric Dickerson, curse in normal conversation the coaching of Chuck Knox and listen quietly to my grandfather talk about an argument between his parents about what condiments (relish or mustard) he should have on his first hotdog when he attended he attended a football game at the LA Colosseum as a child.

As a generational line of RAMs devouts, the story of my first (and only) jersey I've worn goes that my grandfather won a raffle to attend a "locker room" dinner with the then owner (Georgia Ferrori or the like I believe) and the current team. So while attending the dinner / get together, his wife (my great grandmother) casually mentions that my family has been attending RAMs games since the late 30's when my great grandfather moved (albeit briefly) to the west coast from Cleveland in 1947 or 48 I believe (the same year the RAMs moved to LA). The way I heard the joke play out, was that he had to move with his favorite sports team because he otherwise wouldn't know what to do for recreation during the normal season. While everyone is getting sloshed, a few of the team politely hear the story and decide that they deserve an extra special memento: they offer an autograph and I believe one of them jokingly offers "the shirt on my back like my daddy would have given me."

Supposedly Eric Dickerson was the offeree (and I'll never know), but all I know from their account is that my grandfather said "okay, and I promise to hand it down to my kids kids and I'll tell them that my dad's favorite team gave the the shirt off their back." Long story short, I grew up with an Eric Dickerson jersey signed by him and two or three of the then team in my closet. I attended my first football game in it, vaguely remember dripping part of my first ice cream cone onto it, and being denied condiments on my first hotdog because my parents didn't want me to stain it any further (all while being a spectator at the first and last football games I ever attended).

Eric Dickerson was an amazing running back.

If we are listing them, I shall list them. These are all replica jerseys.

Toronto Blue Jays:
- Jose Bautista. I bought a Chinese knock off of his. I will buy stuff that actually supports Major League Baseball when either the Blue Jays (with the richest owners in baseball) do better than the league's 27th payroll, or stuff like Halladay going to the Phils can't happen.

- Shaun Marcum. He was traded six months later.

New Orleans Saints
- Drew Brees. There was a place selling "damaged" jerseys for $9 on eBay. I will post a photo of it. I don't think you can tell it is damaged.

- Robert Meachem. I bought this in 2009 before the Saints/Patriots game. It was a stupid purchase: I didn't want to go for an obvious jersey, and I could NOT find a throwback jersey for either of the Saints' two hall of famers. That was surprising. So I got a Meachem jersey because ChainGangGuy made jokes that he couldn't read. It was dumb of me to get this - he plays for the San Diego Chargers now.

- Reggie Bush #1. Purchased after Reggie was drafted. I left this on a trolley in New Orleans, as per the trip above. I wore the Bush jersey to the store, bought the Meachem, and then lost the NGNghghgr.

- Reggie Bush #2. My mom gave me $40 to something like Dilliards for Christmas one year, in order to use towards work clothes. Well, for some reason they were selling football jerseys. I still need money for work clothes. I did buy this because I lost my first one. Bush was traded a year later.

OK, there are more to come

Oh! I wore a Mighty Ducks jersey in middle school until one of the vice principals saw me in it and had it banned because it too closely resembled Jason Voorhee's mask from Friday the 13th. I was also part of a small group of children who were given detention for playing Power Rangers at recess because it, "encouraged [us] to reproduce and act out violent scenarios."

Christ was that place dumb...

The Meachem jersey was not a stupid purchase.

RetroRomper wrote:Oh! I wore a Mighty Ducks jersey in middle school until one of the vice principals saw me in it and had it banned because it too closely resembled Jason Voorhee's mask from Friday the 13th. I was also part of a small group of children who were given detention for playing Power Rangers at recess because it, "encouraged [us] to reproduce and act out violent scenarios."

Christ was that place dumb...

Hah. I got sent to the principal's office once for wearing a Spuds Makenzie shirt and was made to turn it inside out for the day. Dumb. The dumbest part was I think my grandma got it for me at the flea market so it wasn't even a licensed shirt. I think it was "Spudz Machenzee" or something.

Getting on to kids for pretending to be Power Rangers though, yeah, I get that.

gsdgsd wrote:The Meachem jersey was not a stupid purchase.

I appreciate that sir.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS JERSEYS CON'T

- I bought a custom replica "Rickey Jackson #57" jersey, but it was made in a way where the numbers peeled off. They're not supposed to do that, numbers!

- Joe Johnson #94. I made the mistake of washing and drying this. It was also like a 2XL, which made it comical in side. It came down to my knees, I think.

- Mark Fields #55. Mark Fields was not that great a player for the Saints. He WAS a great player for my "Front Page Sports Football Pro 96" franchise. I was ok with his real-life performance if he kept getting sacks off the line in video game football. I no longer have this.

- Morten Andersen #7
- Bobby Hebert #3 The first two jerseys young Jonsey ever had. I was in, what, 6th or 7th grade. I would wear them both to school on Monday and Tuesday every single week that year. I no longer have these.

- Sammy Knight #29. My first "white" jersey! Sammy was a free agent and left to go play for the Chiefs two months after I got this jersey. I think I mailed this one to Lex after I bled all over it.

- Ricky Williams #34. Well, the hype was pretty big for Ricky coming out of college. I forget what happened to this one, but I no longer have it, either.

I have never purchased a jersey for an offensive lineman because I've been sensitive about my weight.

Hockey jerseys to come later??!

In listing the football jerseys, I forgot a T.J. Duckett Michigan State jersey, which is kind of a good all-purpose jersey if I'm neutral in a game. Suitable for all occasions, weddings, funerals, etc.

When I was 15 and working as a busboy, I got chewed out for wearing an old Blue Jays jersey (the style Lloyd's wearing here: http://www.bluejayhunter.com/2010/05/ac ... oseby.html) as I walked through the restaurant's semi-posh dining room. I haven't owned a baseball jersey since.

Flack wrote:Getting on to kids for pretending to be Power Rangers though, yeah, I get that.

Giving children detention for punching air and pretending that they're super heroes?

No. For liking the Power Rangers.

Greg, if I do get the LaFontaine jersey, I think we have to call each other before we meet each other and make sure that we're not wearing the same exact jersey. Is that cool? I'm not gonna go to the Chinese site after all, because hell, the new owner for the Sabres is trying his hardest.

If there's ever a potential LaFontaine conflict, I grant you right of primacy, seeing as how you're an actual Sabres fan.

Then it's done. It's done! I assume you have never given money to the Chinese, for Chinese jerseys, UNLESS it was actually for a Chinese hockey jersey. I am going to do the right thing. I am going over to the Sabres site...

... and it tried to redirect me to http://www.cnbridalveil.com/.

Huh. At least the Chinese places rip you off correctly. :/

Hmmmm. OK, I have no idea where to get as replica LaFontaine for less than $100, excluding the Chinese sites. Come on now, Bettman!

I forgot, I had one other jersey. My wife bought me a giant "Big Dog" baseball jersey. For some weird reason, even though it fit, there were weird gaps in between all the buttons that made it look weird. I got rid of it pretty quickly.

If I could find one of these in my size, I would order one:

That looks bitchin'!

OK, having failed to do the replica thing, I got an authentic white LaFontaine jersey, using up most of the Paypal balance I had built up selling crap on the Internet. I'm going to look like a prince wandering around in Albuquerque in it, in a few weeks!!

I've had a blue replica Maple Leafs jersey for years. Paid 50$ for it at a flea market. This was before my state got their own NHL team.