Jolt Country

Short version: the family and I visited a new Five Guys today, found out it doesn't officially open until tomorrow, then got invited in by the manager for a free meal.

Long version: http://www.robohara.com/?p=4827

Free Five Guys! It doesn't get much better than that.


THE
LIQUOR LICENSE
AARDVARK

Is that a goddamn knockoff Yankees hat? What the Christ is this shit, Flack? Look I will send you a hat of ANY OTHER TEAM IN BASEBALL. I hope the Five Guys were good. Because I am about to send five guys to your house to know that hat off your head and fuck it in the brim (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING!!!)

It's just a baseball cap at a restaurant. Why all the hostility?

It's a Yankees thing isn't it? Gad, more people hate the Yanks than any other MLB team. I don't follow/watch baseball so I have no fight in this dog.



Good score on the free Five Guys meal, though!



THE
HATS OFF TO YOU
AARDVARK

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate nnnrrgh

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Is that a goddamn knockoff Yankees hat? What the Christ is this shit, Flack? Look I will send you a hat of ANY OTHER TEAM IN BASEBALL. I hope the Five Guys were good. Because I am about to send five guys to your house to know that hat off your head and fuck it in the brim (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING!!!)

When I visited New York City, I really wanted a New York hat. So I went to one place and they had them for $30. Screw that. So the next day I went to another place and they had them for like $20. Screw that. The third day I stopped at a hole in the wall run by a Chinese lady that could have been Yoda's mother. In that shit hole, they were selling two things -- hats, and shirts. The shirts had one of two sayings available: "I (heart) New York" and "Fuck Milk, Got Beer?" I would like to note that both were available as baby onsies. You could buy a thing for your new born baby there that said "Fuck Milk, Got Beer?" on it.

But yeah, hats were $5/each there, or 3/$10, and that's where it came from. I got one that says "I (heart) New York" that I gave to someone as a souvenir and a NY Knicks hat that the bill fell off before I got home.

Also I have never watched a MLB game in its entirety.

What??! This is -- what??

Is it a money thing? Because unlike the arcade baseball game at Cactus Flack's they don't charge you per-inning in the real thing.

Concession prices? You are a man with means enough to pay almost a hundred bucks for a coke -- stadium prices are the one place in the world where drinks are cheaper.

I guess I don't get it??!

MLB does not exist here in Oklahoma. The RedHawks stadium I took you and Vark by is relatively new. Before that they were the OKC 89ers. They played at the fairgrounds and there was no shade. I went to one game there as a kid, on free bat night. I don't remember who we played or if we won but I did get six free OKC 89er bats, most of which mostly got used (a) as fake guitars or (b) in acts of vandalism.

Up until 2010, the RedHawks were the AAA affiliate (farm team) for the Texas Rangers. In 2010 they were sold and are now the AAA affiliate for the Houston Astros. That means, if any player here is any good, they will get shipped 450 miles south to Houston.

The forecast for the rest of this week (Tuesday-Friday) has highs of 99, 99, 100, and 100. Pick which day you want to sit outside on metal bleachers.

Because my dad is from Chicago, I spent a lot of my youth dressed in Chicago duds. I had a Bears' orange and blue vest that got me tormented. I also had a lot of Sox shirts and hats, which I had to quit wearing when gangster rap came out in the early 90s and everyone thought I was just jumping on the bandwagon. I also had to get rid of my Raiders jersey, my do rag, and my AK-47.

The closest I've come to watching an MLB game was during the big McGuire/Sosa home run a thon that was going on. I also watched a Cubs game one time in Chicago while hanging out at a bar with my uncle and my dad, but mostly I just played pool and got hit on by cougars.

I grew up in a world of football and basketball. Here, college football is king, followed closely by ... well, back then it was college basketball, now it's professional basketball, at least that's my perspective. Going to an 89ers game was like going to the dollar movies when I was a kid (roughly the same price, too). My kid's daycare takes him to RedHawk games when the skating rink is closed.

While we're talking about it, one of my dad's theories in life is that you should never pay more than an items lowest price, because you are overpaying for it. In other words, when blank CDs go on sale for, oh $10 for 50, when if you buy them when they are not on sale and cost $20/50, you are a dummy and should wait until they go on sale again.

That being said, once I discovered that they sell baseball caps at the flea market for around $5 each, I've had a hard time spending more than that.

It's like the time I discovered that they have birthday cards at the Dollar Store, two for a buck. After that I have a hard time spending $3 on a card.