X-Files: I Want To Believe
Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 6:07 pm
I was not a huge fan of the original show, though I would watch it in bed occasionally if nothing else was on. I thought it was well done, but written and acted so dryly that it was impossible to get particularly excited about.
I was more a fan of the first movie, which added enough zest to the stories and to the characters that finally the whole X-Files thing seemed nearly ready to test the waters of that elusive "third dimension". So I came into this latest (and one would hope, last) movie with some degree of hopefulness.
X-Files: I Want To Believe might be the worst movie in history. I mean, if you take the word "X-Files" out of the title, then it's just a dull-as-dirt, completely uninteresting trod through a paint-by-numbers plot, though without any hint of intrigue or cleverness. But "X-Files" is right there in the name, and not only are all the X-Files characters back to being dull, monotone non-people, they're even worse, and what's worse than that is, they're on a case which as far as I can figure out doesn't even qualify to be an X-file!! There's kidnappings and severed limbs and child-molesting priests aplenty, but the last time I check these things were not supernatural and did not come from space.
There are no bees, no black ooze, no aliens, no nothing which even remotely resembles something that wouldn't be handled by regular old investigators on a mediocre hour-long weekly crime drama. In fact, that is just what this movie was, an overlong, below-average episode of CSI: Minnetonka or whatever stupid dumbass cop show is on now.
This all leaves the viewer asking one very salient, pointed, and important question which deserves an answer but will never get one:
What the fuck was the point?
I give this movie minus ten thousand stars and a big ol' disapproving glare.
I was more a fan of the first movie, which added enough zest to the stories and to the characters that finally the whole X-Files thing seemed nearly ready to test the waters of that elusive "third dimension". So I came into this latest (and one would hope, last) movie with some degree of hopefulness.
X-Files: I Want To Believe might be the worst movie in history. I mean, if you take the word "X-Files" out of the title, then it's just a dull-as-dirt, completely uninteresting trod through a paint-by-numbers plot, though without any hint of intrigue or cleverness. But "X-Files" is right there in the name, and not only are all the X-Files characters back to being dull, monotone non-people, they're even worse, and what's worse than that is, they're on a case which as far as I can figure out doesn't even qualify to be an X-file!! There's kidnappings and severed limbs and child-molesting priests aplenty, but the last time I check these things were not supernatural and did not come from space.
There are no bees, no black ooze, no aliens, no nothing which even remotely resembles something that wouldn't be handled by regular old investigators on a mediocre hour-long weekly crime drama. In fact, that is just what this movie was, an overlong, below-average episode of CSI: Minnetonka or whatever stupid dumbass cop show is on now.
This all leaves the viewer asking one very salient, pointed, and important question which deserves an answer but will never get one:
What the fuck was the point?
I give this movie minus ten thousand stars and a big ol' disapproving glare.