Jolt Country

Hockey: Avalanche were swept out in the worst game I've ever seen the other night. I'm done with hockey for the year, and rooting for the remaining teams to get syphilis.

Football: The Buccaneers drafted some guys, including a defensive back apparently best known for his scowling abilities.

Baseball: The Cardinals and Orioles were both in first place, last I checked, the first time since about 1987 that's been even possible. Still, I'm just not that into it. I think baseball has lost me.

Basketball: Que? I guess the Hawks are doing better than anyone expected, which I suppose is good for Atlanta. The only teams I might care about (Suns and Nuggets) are out, and seriously, I haven't cared about basketball since the days of Alex English and Fat Lever, so this is only here because I'm a completist.

Soccer: Euro 2008 is this summer! I'm for whichever Slavic team (most likely the Czechs or Croatians) advances the furthest. I love soccer, but didn't think I'd ever reach a point where it was my most exciting sporting choice for the next six months or so.

I did not watch any hockey this year due to the fact that I thought, reasonably, that my team would be poor for a few years (and because of time constraints). And, of course, they just might be headed to the conference finals. Unreal. The more I watch a team the worse they get. I will now accept money to not watch people's favorite teams.

The Flyers have really shocked me -- I didn't expect them to get past the first round. Shows either a) how little I know or b) how weak the East is. I have a horrible feeling that the Red Wings are going to win it all, and that would be bad for humanity.

Horsey horsey win second fall down go BANG! All dead.



THE
MORE GLUE
AARDVARK

The Hawks are in the playoffs? The Hawks are in the playoffs?

Next you're gonna tell me that the Bengals have ever been good enough to play in the Superbowl.