Jolt Country

Rather than work on Cryptozookeeper, Dayna and I decided to watch the second Grindhouse movie tonight, Death Proof.

It's still not even over. She got up to smoke a cigarette. It won't end. It won't fucking end. Sweet Mary, this is a fucking disaster. Quentin Tarantino seems like a nice guy, but I can honestly say I will never, ever subject myself to something he wrote and directed again. They won't FUCKING shut up, any of these broads.

I am turning into the most bitter 33 year old in the goddamn world, as millions of people sit through this shit, while I waste away my prime creative years as a goddamn kill-troll-with-sword Failed Romero.

... Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Planet Terror, or whatever the fuck the first one in Grindhouse was called, was good for what it was. What is THIS SHIT? Ha ha ha ho ho ho YEAH THIS IS JUST LIKE THOSE GRINDHOUSE MOVIES, a bunch of yapping bitches talking endlessly in a single cut. What the FUCK IS THIS?

I'm swearing off watching other people's shit until the text game I am working on is done. This is fucking retarded. And then I will have to make some tough decisions on whether or not to get into other narrative forms, but that's for another thread. Here's my review of this pile of shit (and it still has about four hours left to go):

What am I doing with my life? out of *****

The theatrical cut was actually pretty good. Unfortunately they felt the need to add in a bunch of shit that was removed for the double-feature release: stuff that was removed for the plain and simple reason that it wasn't necessary. With that stuff back in, it becomes a lumbering, dragging monstrosity.

I am willing to concede that the theatrical version eliminated a lot of the parts I hated. Because, man, was the DVD release completely incompetent. I really hope nobody involved expected me to give a shit about any of the characters. Just because they all talk for a really, really long time, it doesn't mean that characterization automatically happens.

And the entire build-up, with the second group of chicks, for something that amounted to car surfing was flat-out the work of an amateur. It's retarded to have the characters all worked up about something and not let the audience in on it. To drag it out for what felt like 10 minutes was torturous.

This is the worst movie I have seen since the Japanese version of the Grudge. It might very well be the second worst movie I've ever seen in my life.

I almost rented that a month ago but thankfully I put it back.

For the record, I thought Planet Terror was really fun. So if you can get one without the other, go for that one. It's not great cinema or anything, but it is a good popcorn flick.

I liked both of them.. very very inventive and creative..

Did you see them in a theatre, or did you see the DVD releases?

dvd separately--YES it was too long especially when the girls are talking like you said but otherwise come on, it was really inventive and cool.. Sure it is just a gimick of 'lets do a bad movie really really well' but there was enough humor and wit there to make it work..

and it had a lot of people dieing of blood loss so Im surprised you didnt love it...

I just really wish that they had made the full theatrical double-feature available on DVD. There are a lot of cool things that are missing from the separate DVD versions, like the fact that one of the Death Proof girls is holding a drink from the fictional Mexican restaurant advertised between the films.

I also thought Planet Terror was fun (I'm a fan of Rodriguez in general) and that Death Proof was too flawed to want to watch again (saw it in the theater, won't be watching the full version).

Well, the guy said it's his worst movie, but then he compliments himself anyway.

Tarantino, on Death Proof, says that he'll retire before he makes another movie as bad as that one, because he'd like to retire before tarnishing his legacy. "To me, it's all about my filmography, and I want to go out with a terrific filmography," he says. "Death Proof has got to be the worst movie I ever make. And for a left-handed movie, that wasn't so bad, all right? So if that's the worst I ever get, I'm good.

No, you're shit

If you don't like Death Proof you pee sitting down.

HOURS of inane broads talking to each other. You like that? That's the hill you want to put your flag on?

Wasn't there a guy with a gun for a leg in Death Proof?

How can any MAN argue with a movie that has a character who has a gun for a leg?

RetroRomper wrote:Wasn't there a guy with a gun for a leg in Death Proof?

How can any MAN argue with a movie that has a character who has a gun for a leg?

Because that's the wrong movie.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:HOURS of inane broads talking to each other. You like that? That's the hill you want to put your flag on?

No. The first half stunk. But the second half was such a balls to the wall, non-stop orgy of vehicular mayhem I couldn't give a rat's ass that they talked too much in the first half. The excitement and tension of that car chase going on for 40 minutes with Zoe Bell being strapped to the front of the car is the definition of white knuckle.

I put my flag on the hill of Vanishing Point being the greatest car chase movie in history, thus I put another flag on any movie willing to go to such lengths to pay much deserved tribute to Vanishing Point.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Well, the guy said it's his worst movie, but then he compliments himself anyway.

Tarantino, on Death Proof, says that he'll retire before he makes another movie as bad as that one, because he'd like to retire before tarnishing his legacy. "To me, it's all about my filmography, and I want to go out with a terrific filmography," he says. "Death Proof has got to be the worst movie I ever make. And for a left-handed movie, that wasn't so bad, all right? So if that's the worst I ever get, I'm good.

No, you're shit

This is a really bad opinion. Dude is responsible for about half of the world's great movies of the past two decades. "QT is shit" is a bad opinion.

pinback wrote:This is a really bad opinion. Dude is responsible for about half of the world's great movies of the past two decades. "QT is shit" is a bad opinion.

I would just like to thank you for holding the opposite opinion about everything I have ever thought. You are like my lodestone, if that stone constantly pointed south.

You do make me rethink my love of alcohol and Breaking Bad, but stopped clocks and all that.

The Happiness Engine wrote:

pinback wrote:This is a really bad opinion. Dude is responsible for about half of the world's great movies of the past two decades. "QT is shit" is a bad opinion.

I would just like to thank you for holding the opposite opinion about everything I have ever thought. You are like my lodestone, if that stone constantly pointed south.

You do make me rethink my love of alcohol and Breaking Bad, but stopped clocks and all that.

Was Pulp Fiction not a great movie? Was Kill Bill not a great movie? Was Django Unchained not a great movie?!!!

Do you deny these FACTS? How can you deny these facts? Do you have bad taste in movies?

The Happiness Engine wrote:I would just like to thank you for holding the opposite opinion about everything I have ever thought. You are like my lodestone, if that stone constantly pointed south.

But you have to give him credit that he manages to be that way to EVERYBODY. Even if you and me disagree, he still disagrees with both of us. And even if you agree with him, he still finds a way to make it seem like you disagree. It's impressive.

Was Kill Bill not a great movie?

The first part was great. The second part was complete and utter garbage and where Tarantino officially became a parody of himself.

Was Django Unchained not a great movie?

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good gravy, my sides hurt.

Tarantino has lost everything that made him a great director/writer. He has lost all perspective and is too in love with the sound of his own voice. He has spent his entire career trying to recapture the magic of the tip scene in Reservoir Dogs and repeatedly failing. He makes promise after promise of great movie ideas, only to torpedo them by stuffing every movie with 3 hours of boring monologues. [/quote]