Jolt Country

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:19 pm**

Here is Ben's Tiger Woods / British Open Guarantee:

Tiger Woods will win the British Open this weekend. This is a certainty. I have analyzed the course, the weather, and scoring patterns over the past ten years to arrive at Ben's Tiger Woods / British Open Guarantee, and now you, at home, can benefit from this analysis.

Before you say "oh yeah, you guarantee he wins EVERY time", this is not correct. There was no Ben's Tiger Woods / Masters Guarantee this year, nor was there a Ben's Tiger Woods / U.S. Open Guarantee.

But here, now, is Ben's Tiger Woods / British Open Guarantee.

Take it to the bank.

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:51 pm**

Would you like to make a friendly wager?
Tiger's a washed up has-been.

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:52 pm**

Sure.

FRIENDLY WAGER TIME!

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:34 pm**

If he does not win, I don't have to eat a piece of paper from my printer.

If he does win, well, pick something.

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:45 pm**

If he wins, you have to write a guest update on starcraft2hub.com

And Jack Straw has to send me $10.

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:19 pm**

Okay, deal.

Posted: **Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:34 pm**

Alrighty then, $10 it is.
Da King's beady eyes would be proud.

Posted: **Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:25 am**

Hmm. Well, this isn't going very well.

Posted: **Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:23 pm**

Robb has been spending large amounts of every day not eating paper. He's really rubbing it in.

Posted: **Tue Jul 24, 2007 6:13 pm**

Please to be sending my $10 my address!

or paypal!

Thanks for playing!

Posted: **Tue Jul 24, 2007 8:25 pm**

Today I threw half a bottle of Death's Udder hot sauce on a piece of paper and then just threw it in the garbage! Ha! Ha ha!

I actually didn't know who won until I was on a conference call last night. There was an Irish guy there and someone mentioned how one of his countrymen won the British Open. "HEY!" I blurted, "TIGER WOODS AIN'T IRISH! LOOKS LIKE I AIN'T EATIN PAPER! I CALL THAT THE LUCK o' the ME!"

Everyone got real quiet and I was escorted out of the building. Because someone on the conference call in Belgium swears he heard me say, "Fuck the Belgsh," I was terminated earlier today. Am I sore? Bitter? Fuck no. I was in Paper & Pulp Science Engineering at Syracuse. I've consumed more fucking paper than an alligator in New York City. It was demanded of us. Expected of us. We did what we had to. We did what was RIGHT.

So anyway, Starcraft II Ben, looks like I am unemployed too!

Posted: **Wed Aug 01, 2007 8:20 am**

mailed

Posted: **Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:44 pm**

Here is a BONUS FOLLOWUP WAGER for Jack Straw's consideration, for the PGA CHAMPIONSHIP, starting tomorrow:

Same bet, but with 2-1 odds, so it's like this:

If anyone but Tiger wins, I owe you another $10.

If Tiger wins, you owe me $20.

This offer is valid until he (Tiger) tees off tomorrow morning.

Posted: **Wed Aug 08, 2007 6:44 pm**

pinbacker wrote:Here is a BONUS FOLLOWUP WAGER for Jack Straw's consideration, for the PGA CHAMPIONSHIP, starting tomorrow:

Same bet, but with 2-1 odds, so it's like this:

If anyone but Tiger wins, I owe you another $10.

If Tiger wins, you owe me $20.

This offer is valid until he (Tiger) tees off tomorrow morning.

Can I be eligible with some kind of barter for paper-eating and Starcraft II Hub updating?

Posted: **Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:13 pm**

Yeah, yeah, sure, good.

Posted: **Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:33 pm**

Can you do the details on this for me?

Posted: **Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:43 pm**

Okay. But, really... STRAW?!?!

HOW BOUT IT STRAW?

TEE-OFF IS ONLY HOURS AWAY!

Posted: **Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:51 am**

pinbacker wrote:Here is a BONUS FOLLOWUP WAGER for Jack Straw's consideration, for the PGA CHAMPIONSHIP, starting tomorrow:

Same bet, but with 2-1 odds, so it's like this:

If anyone but Tiger wins, I owe you another $10.

If Tiger wins, you owe me $20.

This offer is valid until he (Tiger) tees off tomorrow morning.

how bout if tiger wins I eat the check you sent me.

and if anyone else wins, you owe me $69 DOOOODZ

Posted: **Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:58 am**

Bets off.

Posted: **Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:56 am**

what, did he lose already? sprain a hamstring?