Jolt Country

I just found this. Seriously, is this why my boyfriend didn't want to go out on New Years? There were even bare tits there:

http://www.joltcountry.com/features/plot.html

"Plot"

Plot McClaightan, an eyesore, is a twenty-eight year old human monk. He is 5'9" tall and weighs 305 pounds. He comes from a small mountain community that believed, for generations, in a tradition of gaining as much girth as possible so that the earth itself would reject them in burial, thus guaranteeing eternal life. Recently, Plot's townsfolk discovered that their sacred texts were in fact written by Rakshasas who used myth to turn his community into sedentary, sentient jellycakes.

Raised to believe that greed, gluttony and hatred were virtues, he would be described as "lawful evil" by the disinterested observer, although this is due to a pollution of upbringing. He entered into the monkhood in order to reach his true potential, get in shape and shed the ignorant lies of his cursed ancestors, whom he despises with furor. He, like all his kinsfolk, has a psychosomatic allergy to first level cleric spells like "Bless." He claims to hate crossbows and dwarfkids, but is secretly fearful of both. He sweats like a burst dam during stress and smokes too much, but never abandons those he is in alliance with and always keeps his word.

Character: Plot McClaighatan
Player: Robb Sherwin
Class: Monk
Level: 1
Race: Human
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Religion: None
Experience: 0
Hit Points: 10
Base Attack Bonus: 0


Strength: 16 (+3)
Dexterity: 13 (+1)
Constitution: 8 (-1)
Intelligence: 13 (+1)
Wisdom: 15 (+2)
Charisma: 8 (-1)


Foritude: 2 + -1
Reflex: 2 + 1
Will: 2 + 2
Inititive: 1 +
Melee: 0 + 3
Ranged: 0 + 1


Money: 7 gp 1 sp
Armor Class: 1 + 10 + 2


Skills:

balance 1 dex (UT)
concentration 1 con (UT)
diplomacy 1 chr (UT)
disable device 2 int (T)
escape artist 1 dex (UT)
heal 1 wis (UT)
listen 1 wis (UT)
sense motive 1 wis (UT)
spot 1 wis (UT)
swim 1 str (UT)
tumble 1 dex (T)
use magic device 2 chr (T)


Equipment:

Quarterstaff 1d6 (2)
Nunchaku 1d6 (1)
Bedroll 5lb (1)
Caltrops 2lb (1)
Chalk (10) (1)
Flint/steel (1)
Lamp 1lb (1)
Mug 1lb (1)
Oil 1lb (4)
Rations 1lb (4)
Sack (1)
Waterskin 4lb (1)
Monk's outfit 2lb (1)


Feats/Specials:

dodge
toughness
Flurry of blows, unarmed strike
stunning fist


Languages:

Common
Dwarven

Vitriola wrote:is this why my boyfriend didn't want to go out on New Years?

Plot McClaightan, an eyesore, is a twenty-eight year old human monk. He is 5'9" tall and weighs 305 pounds. He comes from a small mountain community that believed, for generations, in a tradition of gaining as much girth as possible so that the earth itself would reject them in burial, thus guaranteeing eternal life. Recently, Plot's townsfolk discovered that their sacred texts were in fact written by Rakshasas who used myth to turn his community into sedentary, sentient jellycakes.

If it were my boyfriend I'd be scheming to make him a fiancee. Seriously, this one's a keeper. I dare you to read that last sentence there without cracking a smile.

Bruce

P.S. Where were the bare tits on New Year's?

Here is a picture that Fang did of our group!

Where's the sweating eyesore? I expected a Pigpen-like fall of perspiration.

A lot of people have asked Fang why my character was looking so good. I believe Fang's response is that my character has contracted a terrible disease, and what you see is the after-effect.