Jolt Country

Guy decides he wants to kill himself. He orders a pizza, the pizza boy gets there, knocks on the door... guy says, "HI!" and shoots himself in the head.

Who does the pizza now belong to? I say the pizza boy. It's comfort food. But I await the decision of....

The Jolt Country County Court

According to the letter of the law, you are correct.
The suicidal fuck has not paid for the pizza, so it is still the property of the pizza place, and the pizza boy by extension.

I hope that loser didn't get any splatter on that fine pie!

It is the property of DICK CHENEY, because all things are the property of DICK CHENEY, and if you say different, he'll SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE.

Bruce

Well. It only belongs to the Pizza Boy if he pays for it. However, if I saw someone blow their brains out I'd eat it and probably not think about paying for it. I don't think the pizza place would care. So therefore, property is not relevant when you've got some guy's face on your shoes.

If it's the average fast-food place, the pizza boy has to bring back the pizza or risk disciplinary action.

Believe me, I know.

Not sure he would have to bring back the pizza. At college, dominos guys would bring their extra pizzas to the dorm and sell for like $5 of pure profit for themselves. If the kid called the pizza place and told him that he was with the cops and had to stay to make a statement about a customer who killed himself, I don't think his boss would give a shit about the pizza. Any blood splatter should stay on the outside of the box, and if any got inside it would blend with the tomato sauce and just add more protein (see: Ravenous). He should get drunk and eat the pizza.

Don't forget to rifle the dead guy's pockets for any cash.



THE
FILL THE TANK
AARDVARK

is this like one of those 'ethics' tests that jobs give you?

What was that board game where you had situations like that and your teammate/partner/spouse had to predict how you would react a la the Newlywed Game?

the guy in front of you drops a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk and he doesn't notice. There is nobody else in sight. Do you:

A) Return the twenty to the man and develop a deep sense of well being.

B) Keep the twenty and use it to drown your guilt feelings with plenty of whiskey and beer.

C) Hit the man on the head with a piece of pipe wrapped in a towel and take the rest of his money becaause if he could drop a twenty and not notice he is either filthy rich and or just plain stupid, not deserving of his money by the old saying that a fool and his cash are soon parted.


THE
PARKER BROTHERS
AARDVARK