Jolt Country

AMERICAN LEAGUE

First Base: Chris Shelton, Detroit Tigers
Second Base: Jose Lopez, Seattle Mariners
Third Base: Troy Glaus, Toronto Blue Jays
Shortstop: Miguel Tejada, Baltimore Orioles
Catcher: Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins
Outfielder: Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners
Outfielder: Vernon Wells, Toronto Blue Jays
Outfielder:
Write-in 1: Alex Rios, OF, Toronto Blue Jays

Notes:
o They would not let me choose three outfielders and also a write-in vote for Rios. I recall them doing it differently in previous years.

o Shelton gets in over Ortiz because Ortiz is really a DH.

o I voted for Ichiro over Reed Johnson because Mike said he'd vote for Rios. But then he didn't. So fuck that guy and fuck the Mariners.

First half MVP: Alex Rios

NATIONAL LEAGUE

First Base: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals
Second Base: Jose Vidro, Washington Nationals
Third Base: David Wright, New York Mets
Shortstop: Jimmy Rollins, Philadelphia Phillies
Catcher: Michael Barrett, Chicago Cubs
Outfielder: Jason Bay, Pittsburgh Pirates
Outfielder: Adam Dunn, Cincinatti Reds
Outfielder: Alfonso Soriano, Washington Nationals

Notes:

o Barrett gets the nod for punching Pierzinski even if his stats were terrible.

o How are the Nats doing? They are the only team with two guys in my vote, so I expect that they are doing OK, but who knows.

First Half MVP: Albert Pujols

Oh. Shelton also gets my vote because, seriously, fuck New York and Boston.

Ozzie Guillen said that he'd put in 10 White Sox if they'd let him, so let's at least assume that he's naming Thome, Dye, Contreras, Jenks and Buehrle. Maybe even Konerko.

So the laughable bunch of starters are:

C Varitek, BOS
1B Ortiz, BOS
2B Cano, NYY
3B Rodriguez, NYY
SS Jeter, NYY
OF Ramirez, BOS
OF Guerrero, ANA
OF Damon, NYY

Out of 20 position players that's 11 guys taken. Here's my guess at the roster:


1. C Varitek, BOS
2. 1B Ortiz, BOS
3. 1B Thome, CWS
4. 1B Konerko, CWS
5. 2B Cano, NYY
6. 3B Rodriguez, NYY
7. SS Jeter, NYY
8. SS Tejada, BAL
9. OF Ramirez, BOS
10. Guerrero, ANA
11. OF Damon, NYY
12. OF Suzuki, SEA
13. 1B Shelton, DET
14. OF Wells, TOR
15. C Rodriguez, DET
16. 2B Loretta, BOS
17. SS Young, TEX
18. 3B Chavez, OAK
19. OF Dye, CWS
20. 1B Hafner, CLE

Pitchers
1. Contreras, SP, CWS
2. Buehrle, SP, CWS
3. Jenks, RP, CWS
4. Kazmir, SP, TB
5. Halladay, SP, TOR
6. Mussina, SP, NYY
7. Papelbon, RP, BOS
8. Santana, SP, MIN
9. Gobble, RP, KC
10. Ryan, RP, TOR
11. Schilling, SP, Bos

That's a fucking travesty.

OK, there is no way that Cano and Loretta get in. They're both fucking terrible.

I can't see the team not having two second basemen, however. Even though there isn't a single one that deserves to be on the team. I am making the following changes to my prediction:

1. Whoever doesn't get voted in between Cano and Loretta is out.

2. Jose Lopez is in, instead. I don't see how he can be kept out.

3. Swisher (OF) is in, Chavez (3B) is out for Oakland.

4. Shelton (1B) is out and Glaus (3B) is in.

So I think the roster looks like this:

1. DH Hafner, CLE
2. DH Thome, CWS
3. C Varitek, BOS
4. C Rodriguez, DET
5. 1B Ortiz, BOS
6. 1B Konerko, CWS
7. 2B Cano, NYY
8. 2B Lopez, SEA
9. 3B Rodriguez, NYY
10. 3B Glaus, TOR
11. SS Jeter, NYY
12. SS Tejada, BAL
13. SS Young, TEX
14. OF Ramirez, BOS
15. OF Guerrero, ANA
16. OF Damon, NYY
17. OF Suzuki, SEA
18. OF Wells, TOR
19. OF Dye, CWS
20. OF Swisher, OAK

Oh. And Ivan Rodriguez keeps Joe Mauer off.

And everyone bellows that it's a crime that there's only one Tiger. I agree, I just think Dye will get named and that Ordonez deserves it.

As a matter of fact, I think that you have to dump Konerko and Dye and put Rios and Mags in there. But anyway. If Ozzie Guillen demoted a pitcher who wouldn't throw at Hank Blalock's head... even though he got him out! -- he's not going to give a shit about what people think of him throwing 30 White Sox on the team.

Pudge can no longer keep I-Rod off.

With that in mind, I'm going with this, presuming no more changes in fan balloting:

1. 1B ("DH") Hafner, CLE
2. 1B ("DH") Thome, CWS
3. C Varitek, BOS
4. C Mauer, MIN
5. 1B Ortiz, BOS
6. 1B Konerko, CWS
7. 2B Cano, NYY
8. 2B Lopez, SEA
9. 3B Rodriguez, NYY
10. 3B Glaus, TOR
11. SS Jeter, NYY
12. SS Tejada, BAL
13. SS Young, TEX
14. OF Ramirez, BOS
15. OF Guerrero, ANA
16. OF Suzuki, SEA
17. OF Wells, TOR
18. OF Dye, CWS
19. OF Swisher, OAK
20. OF Ordonez, DET


Pitchers
1. Santana, SP, MIN
2. Halladay, SP, TOR
3. Kazmir, SP, TB
4. Contreras, SP, CWS
5. Schilling, SP BOS
6. Mussina, SP, NYY
7. Rogers, SP, DET
8. Gobble, RP, KC (Seriously, who gets in for KC?)
9. Jenks, RP, CWS
10. Ryan, RP, TOR
11. Papelbon, RP, BOS


And I say "Fuck MLB" with Rios getting snubbed.