Jolt Country

A show about a bunch of self-important cunts from NYC who think that because they pay $3000 a month in rent they deserve their soul-mate handed to them on an ePlate and don't have to even try to be someone that someone else may want, or deserve. No chemistry after the first date? Next. Chemistry, but he has like 1 annoying habit? Next. Perfect guy, a little younger? Next. Dialogue from actual show:

[cute, smart guy] "I'm from Canada."

[self important cunt] "Oh, you from Canada, EH????"

[guy] "Yeah, I'm a University professor"

[sic] "Oh, so you INTELLIGENT, huh?"

DIE, every single fucking one of you stupid NYC useless twats.

Addendum: Century 21 commercial played incessantly on TLC wherein a wife teams up with her real estate agent on speakerphone to railroad the husband who is paying for everything into buying her her DreamCastle (tm) which is about $75k more than he wanted to pay? Die, frigid drop-out whore. Guy is so panicstricken in commercial you kinda get that this isn't totally fake.

DIE, stuid bitches who don't give back engagament rings when you break off the engagement because 'you deserve it', you worthless asswipes that think you somehow deserve the huge fucking house that your spouse can't afford, you ignorant, insecure wenches that will curtail every single move your man makes for however long he stays with your worthless ass.

Good day.

A local Hair-Cuttery knock off's latest radio ads consist of a woman talking to some faceless victim, "I just don't love you any more because you just haven't gone to Hair-Cuttery lately. If you'd just go there, you'd be hot and I'd love you again."

That's pretty much verbatim how it goes. I can't tell if they're being facetious or not.

I don't know what that means. I think it means that I'm living in Los Angeles, so that sort of ad makes perfect sense to most of the people living here. "Ah, yeah. Well, how are you going to love someone who doesn't go to Hair Cuttery?"

Hard to tell, though.

I thought that was all a joke, until I went on a date with Miss My Time Is Precious, who pretty much fit to a T every Hollywood stereotype you could come up with, red Beemer and all.

Well, that's my town. The weather's nice. Whaddya gonna do.

Anyone who would give up nice people for good weather deserves neither.

Was that a shot?

Those who would use sarcasm on their best friends deserve neither.

Those who think the Hair Cuttery is the coif ideal deserve neither hair nor head. If you didn't pay at least $50 for your haircut, if you got your hair cut at the mall, or a Hair Cuttery, and think this is actually elegant, DIE.

(I just paid $56 for my new do, which I think I fucking deserved since I'd been cutting my own for 19 years.)

This show seems to have disappeared after 3 episodes. I truly hope that some exec, somewhere, googled the show name and came to JC.

Of course, what we get now is "Honey, We're Killing The Kids". I can't even begin.