Jolt Country

Alright, I'll give you just this one, since you've been such loyal fans:


NAME: Lola McGoo (not real name)
NICKNAME: Hollywood
HOW MET: matchmaker.com
PICTURE: Unavailable
STATUS:

First date last night. I think in general it went okay, except for the part where I spilled drinks everywhere, and then the part where I got drunk and started saying all the stupid shit which I think has ruined so many dates in the past for me. Seemed like a nice kid, but perhaps a little too Hollywood for me, if you know what I'm talking about.

I do need some help interpreting some "signals" from later on in the date, though. I'm just a simple country boy, so I don't always know what people really mean when they do stuff.



Like, for instance, if a woman is talking to you, and she reaches over and puts her hand on your thigh while she's doing it, what does that mean? Is that a "signal"?



And, like, what does it mean if later she drags you over to the dance floor and starts grinding like a motherfucker all up in your junk? Is... What's that, is that something?


This has been MINI-PW2K6! For the PW2K6 lover in all of us.

Tell that bitch to put her hands in the air and wave 'em like she just don't care.

Hey, that's a good point. She bummed a cig off of someone, and we went out on the patio to enjoy it. At that moment, we were, in fact, maggots smoking fags out there on Hollywood Boulevard!

Awesome!

You all begged for this, and now... I get nothing, here?

This is why people stop coming here. Not because of me. But because it sucks.

You all begged for this, and now... I get nothing, here?

What is there to say? You're a smoker...



THE
ECCH
AARDVARK

23 seeds and only 2 replies???

Some of us may have had plans on Satuday night! Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, Pinner. There just might be some responses hoisting themselves out of bed, swishing around some mouthwash and stabbing pretty at the keyboard in your future.

what response do you want? Harhar you ruined another woman's night with your awkwardness. Hilarious!

I figured once you gave up drinking and prescription drugs you would realize what everybody already knows. You're gay. After 30+ years of failure with woman it’s not fair for you to keep subjecting them to your clumsy advances. Give it a rest. You already like cooking, wine and art. The transition should be easy. Gay is practically stamped on your large forehead. GO FOR THE GAY!

Pinback's never been in love. At
least no one's ever been in love
with him. He's gonna marry the first
girl he lays. And she's gonna treat
him like shit because he's gonna
kiss her ass for giving him what he's
built-up in his mind as the end-all,
be-all of human existance. She won't
respect him because you can't respect
someone who kisses your ass. It just
doesn't work.

Why don't you refrain from giving Pinback such a hard time? He's never done anything to you.

nobody was talking to you ASSHOLE!

Today, the front page story in the UP! section of the Longmont Times-Call was about e-Harmony.com, and how this couple met and married. So either Ben should try that because I really care about him, or I've just outed myself as an embedded forum advertisar.

Well, just to keep you fine people abreast, Lola McGee has, at least in principle, agreed to a second date.

For those of you scoring (heh heh) at home, this will represent the first second date I can remember in... ever.

Question for ya: Chicks don't go out with you a second time, if they've got like, no interest in you at all, do they?

perhaps she is conducting research for a paper.

She did say that she's writing a book about horrible dating experiences.



I swear I am not making that up.

pinback wrote:Question for ya: Chicks don't go out with you a second time, if they've got like, no interest in you at all, do they?

She is either interested or neutral, doing the second-date-is-more-comfortable thing. I'm always much more comfortable on a second date, or even if I can just get away from the first one for 10 minutes or so to catch up.

pinback wrote:She did say that she's writing a book about horrible dating experiences.



I swear I am not making that up.

well I wouldn't sign anything Romeo.

My name's Ben. Why would I sign anything "Romeo"?




THE
KNUCKLES IS
HIS PARENTS'
FAILED FOLLOWUP
TO ROBB
LIKE WHEN A DIRECTOR
MAKES A REALLY GREAT MOVIE
AND THEN COMES OUT WITH A DUD
AND EVERYONE'S ALL
DAMN
I THOUGHT HE WAS
A BRILLIANT
DIRECTOR
BUT IN FACT
HE JUST GOT LUCKY
AND MAYBE NOW THAT WE THINK
ABOUT IT
WAS THAT FIRST MOVIE
ALL THAT GREAT?
PINBACK

I'm writing a book on shitty posts.

But the fact that you believe my brother's existence "ruins the experience" of me is a masterstroke. If I had more than three point five hours a day for leisure activity I'd totally have chomped at that bait.

Here's today's update:

Now she'd (theoretically) still like to have dinner, but is busy every day and night until faster-than-light interstellar travel is invented.

When I was younger I used to actually believe that. However, thinking it over, every girl who's been happy to see me and who I have gone on to date has thrown other stuff to the side in order to make room for time with me.

When I was in college there was a girl that I asked out on a Saturday. She was going home for the weekend that Saturday, real late, maybe around 11:00pm. Yet the date happened! (We saw "Hero." Zero out of five stars.)

Same sort of thing. I had the early stages of chicken pox when I was asked out by this one girl. After casually determining that she had it as a kid and making sure I wasn't too shingled the date happened.

Someone pulling the, "I'm busy Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and No Matter What You Say Day" would cause me to actually say, "Ha!" Okay... you're busy all right, sure you are. Like there's any job on the planet that wouldn't understand if you said, "I have to leave at 8:00, I have a date tonight." Like some crappy, derivative book about bad dates in the city (for fuck's sake there was a LONG RUNNING TELEVISION SHOW ABOUT THE TOPIC - IT HAS BEEN RUN INTO THE GROUND) is going to suffer because it came out one day later than it otherwise would have.

I hope she gets hit by a bus. "I avoided a second date and got hit by a bus. Sometimes you need to take that second date! Unless, ladies, you look good in white like bodycast white."