Jolt Country

I couldn't leave work long enough to go to the store and buy the CD. So you know what I did? I HAD THE BITCH SECRETARY GO DOWN THERE AND GET IT FOR ME.

And SHE ENDED UP PAYING FOR IT.

Thank you, Zoloft!

Anyway, back to the main theme of this post, which is that Lysander is a fucking idiot.

I listened to Mezmerize about 10 times before I weaseled into the uneasy position of calling it "great", and "System's best ever". This was more about familiarity than anything, though, as well as the unmistakeable greatness of BYOB, VP (the best song ever!) and the baseball song.

But this?

THIS is great. THIS is System's best ever. And I only heard it once. There is no question. There is not a "down" moment on the whole album, except for Lonely Day, which, you know, whatever. But to anyone who doesn't immediately say it's great, and who spends three long, boring pages overanalyzing the "recording methods" used in his stupid review, you are a FUCKING IDIOT. Check it, here's all you need to know:

1. Attack is a great opener, and Lysander is a fucking idiot.
2. Except for the "let's bring it down a minute" song near the end, the worst thing on this album is better than half of Mezmerize, half of Toxicity, half of STA, and probably 2/3s of SOAD. And Lysander is a fucking idiot.
3. Violent Pornography, you're outta here. Welcome to "second best song of all time land". Instantly replaced by Vicinity of Obscenity, the true greatest song of all time. BTW, Lysander is a fucking idiot.
4. Shut the fuck up.

In closing, I don't know what sense ended up enhanced by Lysander's blindness, but whatever it was, it wasn't taste in music.

Hypnotize: The greatest thing in the history of objects. Buy yours today!

(Or preferably, have the secretary go buy it for you.)

i'm leaving. Forever.

Jesus, what a putz. Now I have to write a lot more about this, to keep Captain Crywhiny from leaving FOREVER.

I WILL NOW RANK THE SONGS ON THE ALBUM IN ORDER OF HOW MUCH THEY SUCK, FROM MOST TO LEAST:

12: Kill Rock & Roll: This album's "Radio/Video" -- that is, relatively inoffensive, but just not much going on, and too much Daron whining. Also, the chord progression in the break is nearly identical to the one in Sad Statue, which may have been intentional, but sounds lazy more than anything. Here's a clue about how great the album is, though: If this is the worst song on your album, you made a good album.

11. Lonely Day: For a "bring it down" song, this song is fairly hard. But I don't care for the power ballad, and I never will. Also, the grammatical problems in the chorus ("most loneliest") annoy me, even though I realize it was sung ironically.

10. Holy Mountains: This album's "Question!" That being, the long "centerpiece" song, with plenty of stuff in there to recommend it, but just a liiiittle too long, and a liiiittle too self-important. Like, "Okay, enough messing around, now let's really get DEEP!" Fuck that. Play that funky music, Armenian boy.

9. She's Like Heroin: For a "funny" song, this one ranks fairly low. It's quirky, but more gimmicky than powerful, and again, too much Daron. I like the way they yell "ass!" though. That's cute.

--- NOTE: Everything below this line is good enough that I'd never consider skipping the song, and is totally awesome, no matter how much I bag on it. ---

8. Tentative: This one sounds like it was off the first album, amusingly. I like the straight-ahead Satanic-fifth guitars, and the chords up to the chorus. The chorus doesn't do it for me, though. It sounds too much like all the other choruses from the last two albums.

7. Soldier Side: For the record, this is brilliant. Putting the second half of the first song on the first album as the last song on the second album. When Lonely Day ends, and you hear that falling guitar sound again, try not getting chills. The meat of the tune is pretty good, with a heavy dose of Metallica, mixed with a dronic poetic meter and mandolin ringy-dings. But when it comes around and hits the reprise from the intro, again, try not getting chills. Impossible.

6. Hypnotize: When I first heard this on the SOAD website, I was disappointed, because I only heard the first minute, which is good only in retrospect once you hear the rest of the song. Then it shifts into world-beat funkitude halfway in, and you're hooked. Then you like the first half better, because you realize it's all prologue. Plus, very classical-sounding chord progressions in the leadup to the break.

5. Attack: Unmistakeably System, and starts out too much like Sad Statue, but Jesus Christ. Skip the coffee and just blast this.

4. Stealing Society: All over the place. Let's see, there's the first half, with the weird chord progressions. Then there's the first part of the second half, which is Daron yapping. Then there's the second part of the second half, with all the foul language, and then the third part of the second half, which is them huge guitars, and which is actually part of the first half, but just transplanted into the... whew. Whatever, it's all good, and all hard as nails, and all rockin'.

3. U-Fig: Another song only System could have done. All irony, all experiments (light mandolin interludes between deafening, mind-crushing metal), all sharp light/heavy transitions, all vocal goofiness.

2. Dreaming: Now, stay with me here. The non-chorus parts of this song toe veeeeery close to the line of "unlistenable noise". Crunchy overdubbed speed guitars with Daron & Serj wailing overtop of one another, drums going crazy in the background, all this. I would never recommend introducing someone to the band with this song, as they'd likely run out of the room and never speak to you again. But, see, like, it's supposed to be symbolic of having a nightmare -- jumbled up, scary, anxious thoughts that just keep hitting you from all sides. And that's what it sounds like. Except it also rocks very very very hard at the same time, and the chorus brings you back to one of those harmonic, melodic hooks that SOAD fans use to justify to their friends, "see, they actually have musical talent"! And unforgettable musical trainwreck that you don't want to see, but from which you cannot look away.

1. Vicinity of Obscenity: The ultimate SOAD song. I giggled like a horny cheerleader in the team's locker room listening to it. Hilarious, inconceivably creative, impossible to understand, impenetrable, alternates between maybe the hardest metal SOAD has ever played, and the softest, goofiest interlude they've had the stones to try to get away with. Pure astonishing energy from beginning to ear-splitting end.

There. And Lysander's still a fucking idiot.

That was a good post.

Damn, I GOTTA hook up my text to speech program. I think I will have the thing speak all the looong text messages and have them recorded into mp3 and play them back to me on my kids mp3 player.



THE
SOUNDS GOOD TO
AARDVARK

I will pay someome actual money to get me mp3s of SOAD karaoke.

Which ones you want?

I've heard Footloose and, uh, Smoke on the Water, I think, but I want all of them.

pinback wrote:Jesus, what a putz. Now I have to write a lot more about this, to keep Captain Crywhiny from leaving FOREVER.

Yeah, because begging me to stay over IM doesn't count as pathetic, imputant whining at all, either.

Pinback wrote:I WILL NOW RANK THE SONGS ON THE ALBUM IN ORDER OF HOW MUCH THEY SUCK, FROM MOST TO LEAST:
12: Kill Rock & Roll: This album's "Radio/Video" -- that is, relatively inoffensive, but just not much going on, and too much Daron whining.

Okay, I can see you getting bored with this song becaseu you're not a singer, but I personally liked the waaah-aah-ah-aaah-haaaaaah-s. It's fun to sing. Really. Try it some time. Also, if oyu're going to pick a song to use the term "Darren whining" on, do it for She's Like Heroin. Or hey, I know, how about fucking Prison Song. Seriously. Jesus.

Pinback wrote:Also, the chord progression in the break is nearly identical to the one in Sad Statue, which may have been intentional, but sounds lazy more than anything.

I do not hear what you are talking about. Just like I donnot hear what you are talking about when you claim incorrectly) that Radio Video copies Boom exactly. However, I will expound on it!

The opening to Kill Rock and Roll sounds almost exactly like the opening to Suggestions, of of the self-titled album.

The bass opening to Mr. Jack sounds almost exactly like the bass opening to Spiders, which in turn soundsalmost like one of the guitar openings to Hypnotize only in a different key.

The opening of Attack is almost exactly like Sad Statue.

The drum work on the opening of Attack and right after the opening of Dreaming is exactly the same. Hey, yeah, way to show diversity there, you stupids.

Pinback wrote:11. Lonely Day: For a "bring it down" song, this song is fairly hard.

I submit that Darren does not know how to "bring it down." Lost in Hollywood was great, but it's what, teh only song they've managed to pull that off with? Oh, Arials tries, but it also fails.

Pinback wrote:But I don't care for the power ballad, and I never will. Also, the grammatical problems in the chorus ("most loneliest") annoy me, even though I realize it was sung ironically.

I didn't like it. It sucks! Yeah, I'm supposed to argue with that.

Pinback wrote:10. Holy Mountains: This album's "Question!" That being, the long "centerpiece" song, with plenty of stuff in there to recommend it, but just a liiiittle too long, and a liiiittle too self-important.

Question! was long? And it was self-important? What's self-important about asking what happens when you die?

Pinback wrote: Like, "Okay, enough messing around, now let's really get DEEP!" Fuck that. Play that funky music, Armenian boy.

Agreed. But it's still a damn good song. I can stomach just about any set of shitty lyrics of the rest of hte song is put together well. Holy Mountains is another song that's just damn fun to sing.

Pinback wrote:9. She's Like Heroin: For a "funny" song, this one ranks fairly low. It's quirky, but more gimmicky than powerful, and again, too much Daron. I like the way they yell "ass!" though. That's cute.

Who said it was funny/ I don't recall that. I agree that it's quirky, but I Think that's rather cool. I like the lyrics, I like how Serj sings the melody while Darren whoops over the top, I think the lyrics on that song are more fun than any other SOAD song, and the fact that oyu ranked this below you-fig is simply inexcusable, and I demand an appology.

Pinback wrote:8. Tentative: This one sounds like it was off the first album, amusingly. I like the straight-ahead Satanic-fifth guitars, and the chords up to the chorus. The chorus doesn't do it for me, though. It sounds too much like all the other choruses from the last two albums.

See, this isn't one of my favorits either, but I balk at "it sounds too much like the other System choruses." I dont' understand it, System recycles so much of their material, yet every time you notice something that's recycled I contend that you have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

Pinback wrote:7. Soldier Side: For the record, this is brilliant. Putting the second half of the first song on the first album as the last song on the second album.

Haha, this is completely wrong. It's not "revolutionary" to break up one song into two tracks, oh yeah, and tease them with thte intro first, then give them teh rest of it an entire half of a year later! That's called being fucking lazy, and it's it's an example of everythign I hate about this album. If I want to pay for the same song twice I'll start buying tunes off of Audio Galaxy, thanks all the same.

Pinback wrote:When Lonely Day ends, and you hear that falling guitar sound again, try not getting chills.

Oh, I can. it's very easy, actually. All that happened was I went "Oh, yeah, SOldier Side's up next." Also, it completely ruined the ending of Loneyl Day--but that doesnt' matter, because it's a sucky song becasue you don't like it and it sucks so forget it, fuck it up! Move on to bigger and better things! Hey, I was willing to go with it, if the rest of Soldier Side sounded anything like the intro did. The last thirty seconds do a good job of this; the other three minutes... do not.

Pinback wrote:The meat of the tune is pretty good, with a heavy dose of Metallica, mixed with a dronic poetic meter and mandolin ringy-dings.

Jesus, what the fuck did you say? I think that's the most incomprihensible piece of drivvel you've ever written. What's Metallica-y about this, and what does "dronic poetic meter" mean?

Pinback wrote:But when it comes around and hits the reprise from the intro, again, try not getting chills. Impossible.

The reprise was very cool, I'll admit. But what it did for me was make me go "...Oh yeah! Hey check it out, it's Soldier Side! Crazy."

Pinback wrote:6. Hypnotize: When I first heard this on the SOAD website, I was disappointed, because I only heard the first minute, which is good only in retrospect once you hear the rest of the song.

Ah--waht is this, now? I remember you saying you were "nonplust" about it in IM. If you're worried about a song not sounding great try loading up a website and letting it sit there for more than a minute and *then* judge how much you like it. God. Yeah, the first 30 seconds of Chop Suey are too wild and crazy for me, this song is lame.

Pinback wrote:Then it shifts into world-beat funkitude halfway in, and you're hooked. Then you like the first half better, because you realize it's all prologue. Plus, very classical-sounding chord progressions in the leadup to the break.

I liked Hypnotize a lot, yes. My favorit part is the guitar solo and drum part at the break. I'm looking at playing it for my drum audition tomorrow, hopefully I can play the second "I'm just sit-tin' in my car and wai-ting for my girl" without the need of two bass petals.

Pinback wrote:5. Attack: Unmistakeably System, and starts out too much like Sad Statue, but Jesus Christ. Skip the coffee and just blast this.

I like Attack a lot more now than my initial impressions of it woudl suggest, yes. My main issue is that it is basically the exact type of song that everyone says that is all System does. There's nothing happening there that they haven't done before somwhere else and, like I said, teh drums sound bad on that part and Serj is too close to his microphone. iT's just not very well done.

Pinback wrote:4. Stealing Society: All over the place. Let's see, there's the first half, with the weird chord progressions. Then there's the first part of the second half, which is Daron yapping. Then there's the second part of the second half, with all the foul language, and then the third part of the second half, which is them huge guitars, and which is actually part of the first half, but just transplanted into the... whew. Whatever, it's all good, and all hard as nails, and all rockin'.

Stealing Society bored me like Attack bored me. Only Attack had better lyrics. Wow, they repeated the beginning like they did at thenend. Did I fall asleep last month and wake up in 1957 or something and this has all a sudden become a new thing in music? I liked the second third rather a lot, but the rest is just meh, not a lot going on there. THe guitars are fast in teh second half of the first third, but we already know the dude can play fast and I really, really doubt you'll ever see him play it like that live.

Pinback wrote:3. U-Fig: Another song only System could have done. All irony, all experiments (light mandolin interludes between deafening, mind-crushing metal), all sharp light/heavy transitions, all vocal goofiness.

Yeah, and no one apparently told you that all these experiments fail. IMHO, it's the worst song on the album. I want to like the time changes, as changing times so many times in one song is cool as nails, but it doesn't work and for hte most part just jarrs you. The time changes in BYOB were awesome. These are just random.

Pinback wrote:2. Dreaming: Now, stay with me here. The non-chorus parts of this song toe veeeeery close to the line of "unlistenable noise". Crunchy overdubbed speed guitars with Daron & Serj wailing overtop of one another, drums going crazy in the background, all this. I would never recommend introducing someone to the band with this song, as they'd likely run out of the room and never speak to you again. But, see, like, it's supposed to be symbolic of having a nightmare -- jumbled up, scary, anxious thoughts that just keep hitting you from all sides. And that's what it sounds like. Except it also rocks very very very hard at the same time, and the chorus brings you back to one of those harmonic, melodic hooks that SOAD fans use to justify to their friends, "see, they actually have musical talent"! And unforgettable musical trainwreck that you don't want to see, but from which you cannot look away.

Actually, I don't think that you're at all far from the mark on this. I was all set up to hate Dreaming, and then it went into the chorus, and I started really, really digging it, and then it went back into the metal bit. The chorus is awesome, and the break is awesome. The metal part rocks quite hard. Putting them together is... interesting. I would be more impressed with it, though, if hearing the actual, you know, lyrics durring teh speedmetal part was something that could actually be done with the human ear. Bottled water? What the fuck?

Pinback wrote:1. Vicinity of Obscenity: The ultimate SOAD song. I giggled like a horny cheerleader in the team's locker room listening to it. Hilarious, inconceivably creative, impossible to understand, impenetrable, alternates between maybe the hardest metal SOAD has ever played, and the softest, goofiest interlude they've had the stones to try to get away with. Pure astonishing energy from beginning to ear-splitting end.

I've warmed up considerably to Vicinity of obscenity since I first heard it, which I think is kind of what SOAD expects from peopel who listen to that song. I woudl agree, now, that it is the best album on that song, and I like the entire thing--except for that one part at almost the end, after the second interlewd where it's just noise. That bit just annoys me. Other than that though its' a great, great song. I have this sneaking suspicion that it's really, really dirty, too, which is why I absolutely adore singing it around the annoying fucking Baptists that try to get me to show up at their lame-ass social meetngreets. I just wish I knew what the hell it meant so I could stop feeling like such a culturally backwards dweeb.

Pinback wrote:There. And Lysander's still a fucking idiot.

Feh, so is your mom.

I guess the entire Album is sure SOAD, and for people who are into that kind of thing, I'm sure it's quite great. Though, that maggot on SA had a good point about how you should be listening to old albums by The Replacements instead.

Worm, you listened to the Replacements "Stink!" and fell in love, didn't you?

Roody_Yogurt wrote:Worm, you listened to the Replacements "Stink!" and fell in love, didn't you?

Actually, it was "Dope Smokin Moron".

Lysander, were those your honest, straightforward opinions, or did you just write that with the intention of disagreeing vehemently with every part of my original review?

Fine either way, of course, but I want to know whether to respond as if you have told me the truth, or as if you're just doing a bit.

When I talk about SOAD, it is the honest, real truth. When I talk about you, I am doing a bit.

Pinback wrote:Also, the chord progression in the break is nearly identical to the one in Sad Statue, which may have been intentional, but sounds lazy more than anything.

I do not hear what you are talking about.

That's okay, not everyone is "musically inclined". You're telling me that in the part directly leading up to "Eat all the grass..." you could not sing "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering" at the exact same pace, at the exactly same tone, and have it fit *perfectly*? Are you serious? You can't be serious.

I submit that Darren does not know how to "bring it down." Lost in Hollywood was great, but it's what, teh only song they've managed to pull that off with? Oh, Arials tries, but it also fails.

Roulette? Roulette, anyone?

I didn't like it. It sucks! Yeah, I'm supposed to argue with that.

Douche, I'm telling you my opinion. My personal taste is part of my opinion. This is how life works.

Who said it was funny/ I don't recall that.

The chorus has the singers screaming "ASS!!" with increasing intensity. If you believe they were doing this with a straight face, you do not understand anything.

Pinback wrote:The meat of the tune is pretty good, with a heavy dose of Metallica, mixed with a dronic poetic meter and mandolin ringy-dings.

Jesus, what the fuck did you say? I think that's the most incomprihensible piece of drivvel you've ever written. What's Metallica-y about this, and what does "dronic poetic meter" mean?

Metallica-y is the guitars during the first part of the verses... "Young men standing at the top of their own graves...". Dronic poetic meter is that all the singing in the other part of the verses is done with evenly-spaced iambs, with metronomic regularity. MAY-be YOUR-a SIN-ner MAY-be YOU-de SERVE-to DIE.... That's dronic poetic meter.

Ah--waht is this, now? I remember you saying you were "nonplust" about it in IM. If you're worried about a song not sounding great try loading up a website and letting it sit there for more than a minute and *then* judge how much you like it.

Buttmunch, in a three-minute song, if you don't care for the first minute, that's a THIRD OF THE SONG that you could already do without. If you define liking a song as "being able to pick out a half-second you liked", then I like ALL songs by EVERYBODY.

sound bad on that part and Serj is too close to his microphone. iT's just not very well done.

I don't understand this at all.

I just wish I knew what the hell it meant so I could stop feeling like such a culturally backwards dweeb.

Here's a hint: "Banana" most likely refers to "penis", and "pie" most likely refers to "vagina".

I really don't get SOAD. Listened to the album based on the previous back and forth bickering. Yes, i had to download it without any MORAL restraints. then I deleted it. I'm not into that kind of stuff. Some of the lyrics are better than average.; But it's not my cup of tea.
I guess you need to be blind or on zoloft to 'get it'. Maybe I need to be on something to get it, but I doubt it. It's just not for me. thank you two for trying, tho.


THE
BANG INTO
TH WALLS
FOR ONE
REASON
OR ANOTHER
AARDVARK

I first got into the band when I heard the song "Toxicity" on the radio, and thought that the singer sounded exactly like Tom Lehrer, except shouting over a metal tune.

I also appreciate their sense of humor about their music. They take a little from metal, a little from middle-eastern restaurant music, a little from this and that... It sounds like they're just having fun. Which I appreciate.

Also, they fucking rock.

Also, the lead singer does an internet radio show with Tom Morello, and anything even remotely connected to Tom Morello is awesome.

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/



I see



THE
ENLIGHTENED
AARDVARK

pinback wrote:That's okay, not everyone is "musically inclined".

Oh, fuck you. Fuck you for that bit right there, you shithead. You can make fun of me because Lysander is blind LOL!! all you want but for you, the only person on this BBS who's heard me sing, to come on here and say that I am not musically inclined, y'know what just don't. Okay? Don't.

Pinback wrote:You're telling me that in the part directly leading up to "Eat all the grass..." you could not sing "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering" at the exact same pace, at the exactly same tone, and have it fit *perfectly*? Are you serious? You can't be serious.

Ah, see, so what you're talking about is one 5-second part of one song lining up with a different five-second part of another song, and then didnt' bother to tell me which ones they were. Also, they're a wole note apart, so forgive me for not immediately entering your brain with my many and varried *mind powers* and figuring out what part you meant that way. That said, I submit this point now that you've clarified oyur position. But all that means is that I add it to my list of repeat chord progressions.

Pinback wrote:Roulette? Roulette, anyone?

Yeah, and Daqrren sounds terrible in it. Of course, Serj doens't, but Serj is an actually good singer. Darren sounds liek he's sucking down SonyBMG's corporate cock while singing the song, which is funny becasue it's exactly what he's doing now. Hense, my point, which is that Darren does not know how to "bring it down." Shit, for all we konw that might have been one of the (what, three?) songs Serj wrote. Or, y'know, Shavo or John. Hey, remember them? Those guys that are in that rock and roll band?

Pinback wrote:Douche, I'm telling you my opinion. My personal taste is part of my opinion. This is how life works.

I dont' have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is you saying "this song sucks," and then when asked to expliin exactly why it sucks, you say "Well, I just dont' like power balads. And that grammatical error just got on my nerves." I dont' like Jemee Hendrics, but I dont' go around saying he sucks. Although maybe I should. If you dont' liek a song, say "I did not like this song." The problem is with you, not hte song. The sooner you admit this, the sooner we can all understand the meaning of life (TM).

Pinback wrote:The chorus has the singers screaming "ASS!!" with increasing intensity. If you believe they were doing this with a straight face, you do not understand anything.

I would counter that if you think that screaming "Ass!" over and over into a microphone is actually funny, then you do not understand how humor works. Which would be quite a shame, really. ON the other hand, I find the image of someone doing that with a serious frown on his face to be quite amusing in and of itself, so win some lose some.

Pinback wrote:Metallica-y is the guitars during the first part of the verses... "Young men standing at the top of their own graves...".

That's not Metallica-y at all. That's more like Green Day-y.

Pinback wrote: Dronic poetic meter is that all the singing in the other part of the verses is done with evenly-spaced iambs, with metronomic regularity. MAY-be YOUR-a SIN-ner MAY-be YOU-de SERVE-to DIE.... That's dronic poetic meter.

Ah, now, this is embarrassing, because I actually have nothing remotely funny to say about this because it's right. So instead I will distract you. Ass. ASS. Ass! ASS!

Pinback wrote:Buttmunch,

Jesus. That's what you've lowered to, now? Calling someone a "buttmunch" over an internet message board because he dared to criticize your making judgements of an entire upcoming album based on a third of one song? The fuck's next, man, are you gonna start telling me I have "fuzzy math"? What happened to the x-reader of Lysander's distilled escence of shit, man? I want that Ben back. Maybe the Zolloft is robbing you of your ability to think up creative insults, in which case, fuck the zolloft, if you can possibly get depressed living where you are now without drugs you don't need drugs, you need a .38-calibur bullet to let someone who actually possesses the capacity to appreciate the good things in life to appreciate your newly-vacated apartment.

Pinback wrote:In a three-minute song, if you don't care for the first minute, that's a THIRD OF THE SONG that you could already do without. If you define liking a song as "being able to pick out a half-second you liked", then I like ALL songs by EVERYBODY.

Hurrah for missing the point. You're assumming that the other two thirds of that song--and, by extention, the rest of the album--is like that first minute that you could do about, and it's all because you're too lazy to actually, gasp, sit at a computer for two more fucking minutes out of oyur oh-so precious important existence and listen to the rest of hte fucking song. Did I roll over in bed and *miss* the part where it became passe to judge only the music you've heard and not what you haven't? Come on, Ben. You're better than this. When did you turn into MTV?

Pinback wrote:I don't understand this at all.

That's okay, some of us are not "musically inclined."

Bahaha! Zing! Oooh man, I got chu theyah!

Okay, actually try, you know, like, listening to the music you play, I know it's this incredibly difficult nad strange concept for peopel to grasp in this day and all, but stick with it here, ya might learn somethin' new. The best example of this is when it gets all quiet and then he yells 'ATTAAAAAACK!" You'll hear his microphone "clip"--IE buzz a little bit, becasue he's too close to it. I mean, its' the kind of thing that they really should have caught before the CD started printing.

Pinback wrote:Here's a hint: "Banana" most likely refers to "penis", and "pie" most likely refers to "vagina".

Fucking snooty bitch, I knew that bit already, it's how that relates to anything else in the song I get confused at. I mean, great' "he said pussy and it didn't get censored, tee hee hee heehehehe," great. But maybe I'm old fashioned here, I just think that it woudl be a great change of pace if being clever like that was actually used for something, rather than just showing off how gods-damned clever they are.

This concludes this thread.