Jolt Country

Well, they stand to be much, much better next season.

In part, at my team's expense.

Enjoy, Robb. Enjoy the death of my dream.

Please forgive my wholly inappropriate thread a few up or down from this one, depending on responses. As a friend this is very awkward. I'm sorry that he left. But I'm glad he at least went to us?

My favorite player didn't even have the decency to wait until after the lockout before signing with Pittsburgh, thus effectively removing 300 days of correct jersey-wearing etiquette. So in a way, hundreds of days apart, this new-look NHL has been bad for both of us.

I have no Philly stickers on my car. (And godDAYUM. They are the only team I follow that bothers to go the extra step for their fans.) This is good because I stand a proper chance of it not getting keyed tomorrow.

You shouldn't feel bad. The Avs just got absolutely schooled in this new NHL world, and I'm not sure how.

(everyone else: just ignore this. I know no one cares about this except me, Robb, and Da King if he ever reads it.)

When free agency started this year, I was worried that they might lose Foote OR Forsberg. When Foote left (for COLUMBUS!), I said to myself, "at least they'll keep Forsberg! And maybe get Naslund!" When Naslund went back to the Canucks, I reassured myself... "that's just 'cause Colorado couldn't afford them both. Welcome back, Peter."

Then tonight, at work-- when I was wholly sober, mind you-- the AP wire crosses: "Hockey star Peter Forsberg signs with Philadelphia Flyers"

I regained consciousness six hours later, bloody and pantsless.

And seriously. In the giant free agent orgy, the Avs don't get Kariya or Modano or Niedermayer to make up for it. Oh no. They get Pierre Turgeon, who was good in 1994, and Patrice Brisebois, who was average in 1994. They got dumped by a Playboy centerfold and ended up fucking a midget with one leg to dull the pain.

The Atlanta Thrashers have done better in free agency this year. The CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS have done better. When I play that Eastside Hockey Manager game, *I* do better.

I'm back in Colorado in October. Maybe we can go to a game, Robb, and you can watch me shoot myself.

Here's your 2005 hockey update.

I went to see the Sabres - Avs game with Dayna, Fodge and his girl.

The game had:

10 goals
2 fights
1 ejection
1 pulled goalie (Aebischer, for Colorado between 1st and 2nd periods)
1 penalty shot
1 penalty shot goal
1 goal that went up to the booth and was REJECTED
A tie game going into the last few minutes
1 empty net goal

Verdict: POSITIVE. I love the new NHL. It fucking rocks, great night at the rink. I just wish they'd put in a retractable roof.

Thus far I've been to one game, Thrashers-Penguins-- and yeah-- while a lot of people have bitched about the "New NHL", it was great fun. Insane action, lots of goals, lots of speed, lots of hits, lots of fights. Plus, we somehow secured seats directly behind the goal for $12.50 apiece, so everyone wins. I may go again tomorrow if a recent bout with pneumonia lets me.

That said, the Avalanche appear to be pinning their goalie hopes on some dude from Kazakhstan, the Blues look like the Crippled Women of Upper Saskatchewan farm team, and the "hometown" Thrashers have ECHL-level goalies after something like four guys went down with groin injuries, so I'm not really expecting the Stanley Cup to have any direct bearing on my life this season. Unless I just totally sell out and jump on the Senators bandwagon, which even I'm not craven enough to do, yet.

gsdgsd wrote:Thus far I've been to one game, Thrashers-Penguins-- and yeah-- while a lot of people have bitched about the "New NHL", it was great fun.

My take is this -- there is probably a good section of balding, 65-year old Canadian men who utterly loathe this, the "new" NHL. They can't stand it... they hate it the same way they hate everything that consumes them with the rage of the aged, though. They're going to die off soon enough anyway, and they all end up rooting for the last Canadian team standing in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which violates about 40 of my personal rules for being a fan so honestly... who gives a crap.

Insane action, lots of goals, lots of speed, lots of hits, lots of fights. Plus, we somehow secured seats directly behind the goal for $12.50 apiece, so everyone wins. I may go again tomorrow if a recent bout with pneumonia lets me.

Holy crap! I knew they were thinking of reducing the price on some seats, but you nailed those tickets for $12.50!?

"I can't compete with that." -- Everyone selling things for more than thirteen dollars.

That said, the Avalanche appear to be pinning their goalie hopes on some dude from Kazakhstan, the Blues look like the Crippled Women of Upper Saskatchewan farm team, and the "hometown" Thrashers have ECHL-level goalies after something like four guys went down with groin injuries, so I'm not really expecting the Stanley Cup to have any direct bearing on my life this season. Unless I just totally sell out and jump on the Senators bandwagon, which even I'm not craven enough to do, yet.

Handzus started playing with a loaded weapon just for the hell of it, what with the five best players on the team already taking stints to the DL for Philly. (Lack of) peer pressure, I think.

Do the Flyers and Saints ever play each other?

Yes, the loser has to bang YOUR MOTHER

The Flyers are the only team I follow that's any good. Thank Christ I picked the Flyers.

N.O. Saints - a joke
Toronto Blue Jays - haven't been relevant in 12 years
Syracuse basketball - what crappy New Hampshire whitebread team will dust us in the first round this year?
Syracuse football - 1-10 means it technically doesn't exist
Any of my fantasy football teams - awful

So really, I have more invested in my Front Page Sports Football 98 team because they at least TRY.