Jolt Country

Welcome to this thread, where every day you'll get to check up on the progress of those lovable upstart Washington Nationals, as well as meet one of their exciting young players who will pitch, catch, throw, and bunt their way into your heart!

Today's MEET THE NATIONALS update is:

Say hello to your First Place Nats! The Nats won a thriller yesterday, scoring in the tenth inning to break a 4-4 tie and win their first series EVER, and the first series of the year, against the Philadelphia Flyers. They are now tied for the lead in the National League Eastern Conference with the Atlanta Braves.

Now let's Meet A National! Today's Meet A National player is: Jamey Carroll!

Jamey Carroll plays second base, and also third base, and weighs 170 pounds. He went to college in Evansville, hit .289 last year, and is 5 feet, 9 inches tall.

He throws right-handed.



Welcome to Washington, Jamey Carroll!

Today the Nats play the Florida Marlins, who are 1-2, and are from Florida. We'll see you again tomorrow on: MEET the NATIONALS!

Philadelphia FLYERS? You are NOT a fan.

Hahahah! Tell me Pinner how are the Nats doing in their next series against the Florida Panthers!

Hahahahaha!

Welcome back to Meet the Nationals! Where we will get to better know the Washington National baseball team, as it embarks on its campaign for the 2005 baseball championship award!

Ouch! A tough day for our Nats as they squared off against the Marlins of Miami, FL and ran into some trouble, losing 9 to 0. Tough day, Nats, but you'll get 'em next time!!

Now let's MEET A NATIONAL! Today's National who we will be meeting is:

J. J. Davis! J. J. is 26 years old, has stolen one base this year, and plays both right and left field.

He is 250 pounds, and has had 16 at-bats against Florida during his career, including 0 doubles.

He was drafted in 1997 by the Pittsburg Pirates.

He has hit one home run in his career. That doesn't seem right, but that's what this stat sheet says. He is also 6' 5" tall.

Welcome to Washington, J. J. Davis!!

Welcome back to MEET THE NATIONALS!

What a night! Baseball returned to Washington D.C. for the first time since the Washington Senators left town in 1952. Boy was it worth the wait! The first pitch of the game was thrown out by the President, George Bush, who threw it high and outside, for a ball.

But the Nats were able to rebound from this and win the game, holding off the Arizona ballclub for a 5-3 win! The Nats are now, amazingly, all alone in first place in the eastern conference of the National League!

Now let's go ahead and MEET A NATIONAL.

Today's National to meet is...

Brian Schneider! Brian is a catcher, bats left-handed, and weighs 196 pounds. He is from Jacksonville, Florida, and has yet to steal a base this year.

He did not attend college, and is 6' 1" tall.

In 2003, he hit 26 doubles, and was born in 1976.

Welcome to Washington, Brian Schneider!

We finally no longer have a liberal-biased media in this country. During hour four of my ride home I heard the first pitch described simply as a "Strike!" Well, the guy can't do anything else right. I'd be happy if he could just slob it over without offending half of Europe, but a strike? The one thing he can do!

Then I saw it on TV. Hahahah, nice pitch, Ape Face! What a fucking embarassment. It was so preposterous Adam Dunn wouldn't have swung at it. This guy goes on vacation 60% of the time, the hell can't someone teach him how to throw it over the plate? What a joke. Worst fucking President in the history of the United States (I'd guaranfuckingtee you that while Harding wouldn't get his splitty working he would at least have had it in under eight feet).

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:(I'd guaranfuckingtee you that while Harding wouldn't get his splitty working he would at least have had it in under eight feet).

What about me? :(

What about you? Were you missing a limb or something? Get off the stage, Grover, nobody likes you (except for a brief period of time where people forgot about you so completely that they elected you twice).

"Grover Cleveland sucks WHAT?"
"Leave that one. Lest we forget."

- El Simpsonas

Worst fucking President in the history of the United States

Hey, Some people called me a fat fuck. It's a good thing I never got to throw out the first pitch at a ballgame. I was usually too busy at the hot dog stand. Fried chicken and a cold one. That's what being president is all about. Foreign policy means eating at an eye-talian restaurant. Or maybe French, because I like the fries. You should see my bathtub.

W. Howard Taft wrote:

Worst fucking President in the history of the United States

Hey, Some people called me a fat fuck. It's a good thing I never got to throw out the first pitch at a ballgame. I was usually too busy at the hot dog stand. Fried chicken and a cold one. That's what being president is all about. Foreign policy means eating at an eye-talian restaurant. Or maybe French, because I like the fries. You should see my bathtub.

Yeah, except for the first one:

William H. Taft set forth the relationship between presidents and baseball the day he threw out that first pitch in 1910.

Congratulations, you picked the worst possible President to make your point with. Next time stick to Fillmore because HE DIDN'T DO SHIT.

Sorry, that really wasn't me. I sent my Danger Double out there. He's got a better arm than me anyway. Don't want to get shot like that Lincoln fellow. I was busy at the food stand, like I said. Try again, VOTER!

Let's meet Jose Vidro!