Jolt Country

Arman Gilliam was a 6'10 Power forward for the Philadelphia 76ers in the 90's. He rebounded like a point guard, played defense like a wet paper bag and was generally awful. He had the pleasure/honor of playing with Charles Barkley. Well after sir charles got traded to the Suns in 93, here's the Gilliams quote "Now that Charles has left, I can finnally play MY game" His "GAME" consisted of-
Promptly scoring 4 less points per/game and getting dumped by the 76ers to the horrible Nets. Wasting 3 years of everybody's time there only to be dumped by the second-worst team in baskeball nets, to the worst team in basketball Milwuake Bucks. He then signed a deal with the Jazz in 2000, played HIS game to the tune of 6 ppg and 2 rebounds and was gone forever.

So Gilliam in 92, thought he was being limited by having to play with a superstar like Barkley, his only chance to flourish was for Barkley to leave. Instead of flourishing all of his faults were on display 82 times per year.

Why do I bring this up?

Cause every year there is some bench riding maggot who can't get it through his head that he aint starting material and should just enjoy the $500,000 paycheck and frequent flyer miles and quit his bitching.
These will have slants towards my favorite teams, so feel free to submit your own, or you all time team.
So without further ado, the Arman Gilliam Award nominees for this year
NOMINEE #!
Heath Evans, Miami Dolphins Fullback
From the Seattle Times

Evans gone

Backup fullback Heath Evans signed a one-year contract with the Miami Dolphins for the veteran minimum of $540,000. Like Herndon, he chose a starting position over more money elsewhere.

"I didn't even look at the price," Evans said. "I was brought to Seattle under the impression that they wanted an athletic fullback, although they never really utilized it. I love Mack Strong. He deserved to start. But I really felt stifled for years. It's more important to me to go out and perform at this stage."

So poor Heath. He was deceived, underutilized and stifled.

Now the reality, the only people deceived were the good people of the Pacific Northwest. They thought they were getting a fullback, what they got was some flat-topped pussy whose best asset was retrieving errant punts in practice. Seattle drafted this nitwit to take over for the ancient Mack Strong. 4 years later Mack Strong is elderly and still 10 times the football player Heath Evans was.

Evans was given every opportunity to overtake Strong, unfortunately there isn't much room for finesse fullbacks in the NFL, unless you are Larry Centers. The problem with Heath Evans is he possessed all of Larry Centers qualities, except two, the ability to run routes and the ability to catch footballs.

So now Heath is off to greener pastures where he takes his 3.3 yards per rush and fumble per 22 touches career numbers. If Ricky Williams comes back, he and Heath will have something in common, they both will be asked to give back their 2004 paychecks.
Tomorrow! Kelly Herndon

That's Outrageous!!!

The guy who blasted the Saints and the fans on his way out of New Orleans was Winfred Tubbs, but I can't find a link to his hilarity when he signed with Frisco in '98.

Kyle Turley got fed up with the Saints, surprisingly, after they told him that they weren't going to give into his insane contract demands (he wanted top dollar for a signing bonus when he had yet to actually make a pro bowl), continuing to blast the Saints for several months after signing with the Rams. He was quite happy with being a Ram, at first! And why not? It's not like he said the following in an interview with Dan Patrick or anything while still a Saint:

KT: My thing is this: If they were good all around, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. But that team stunk without Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk. If they didn't have Warner and Faulk, those guys, they would suck. They would suck, man ... and for all those other guys like London Fletcher and Dre' Bly to be talking so much smack about how good they are and this and that, it was ridiculous to me -- I mean, it was like being at San Diego State again. You'd have shootouts, you know. And to go against a team with no defense -- even last year, when they improved their defense, they still weren't that great. ... If they hadn't have talked so much, there wouldn't be a big deal. If they would just admit that the reason why they're so good is because of Warner and Faulk, then I'd be like, OK, that's cool. You guys are humble about being good, you know, and being fortunate enough to have those players on your team. Because without them, they would be nowhere.

DP: You probably have a problem with the guys who aren't the major stars, who do most of the talking, where Warner and Faulk don't say anything.

KT: Exactly. And that's my whole thing. I mean, Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk carried that team on their shoulders, and the rest of those guys just rode their backs and jabbed their jaws the whole way through. And it was ridiculous to me.

Annnnnnnnnd the most hilarious guy who thought that leaving the Saints meant he was "finally going to be able to play his game" was safety Michael Hawthorne.

You don't recognize the name? Well for starters he was the guy on the Packers who gave up the infamous "4th and 26" play to the Eagles two years ago. He also said, after the Saints cut him, that he was "the second most talented player in the NFL after Randy Moss."

After two years of being unable to break the starting lineup in Green Bay, Hawthorne was cut this off-season by Green Bay.

This just in: the Green Bay Packers have cut Michael Hawthorne rather than pay him a $135,000 roster bonus.