Jolt Country

As you may be aware, gentle reader, Metallica and Godsmack are performing a concert tour very soon. I say "as you may be aware," when I in fact mean "in case you've been living under a rock for the past six months." Anyways, they will be getting to Seattle in March, which is the closest they are going to get to where I am at. Fortuitously, this happens to fall within my school's spring break. However, I cannot go, because--hah hah!--my kind, gentle and loving father has decided to scoot off to Mexico with his girlfriend for that week, leaving me stuck. The painful, painful irony of this is that my kind, gentle and loving father's girlfriend is quite the Metallica fan herself. Even *worse*, a sort-of friend of mine has--through some unspeakable amount of luck--managed to not only acquire *backstage tickets*, but has somehow (the bastard little weasel) managed to get an interview with the band. I don't know how he did this, but my current suspicion is divine intervention, and has through some bizzarre ritual transferred all of his own bad luck over to me for me to get, the little shit. I am preparing to murder this man-child for his concert tickets. Alert the media.

So my kind, gentle and loving father's girlfriend, realizing the terrible, terrible unfairness of this whole situation, has attempted to console me. She did this in the form of buying me a copy of the two-disc CD set of Metallica's S&M concert with the San Fran symphony. (which she attended, if I recall.)

So... Huh. Two steps back, one step forward, I guess. I'm... not quite sure what I should be feeling at this moment.

Explain to us why it is exactly that you're not going? I used to take my mother's car and go to the local metal dive, get guys to buy my undergaed ass drinks, come home really late, and just told her I was over a friend's house. This is perhaps the only rebellious thing I ever did in my whole adolescence, and I'm so fucking glad I have at least that one thing to look back on and pat myself on the back that I had the balls to do.

Is it a money thing? Surmountable.

A transportation thing? Surmountable.

An age thing? Surmountable.

A little too smooth between the legs thing? Ah! That, my friend, is up to you.

Go!! Jesus. You're going to regret it for your entire life if you don't find a way to get there.

"Get there!" -- Double Down Trent, Swingers

Not like you'll be discovering free energy with your time if you don't go, you anal flower.

[quote="Vitriola]A transportation thing? Surmountable.[/quote]Yes. See, I do not *live* in Seattle. I in fact live waaaaaay the fuck up in Alaska. So in order for me to see this, I'd have to go from there on an airplane all the way down there. Thus:

Vitriola wrote:Is it a money thing? Surmountable.

Yes again. I've probably *got* the money to buy plane tickets, but I'm trying to save up as much as I can for college, narmean?Also:

Vitriola wrote:An age thing? Surmountable.

Yet again, yes. I'm going to turn 18 probably like ten days before this shit starts, and I *really* don't feel comfortable going on a plane, flying down to Seattle, and finding my way to probably the most packed building in the city all on my own.

My advice is simple. Find new favorite bands. You're welcome- that one's free.

Oh, wait. Those are his favorite bands? I've got to go with Roody on this.

So you're not going to go just because your dad won't be around to take you?
Why don't you just go with your sort-of-a-friend?

Asshat.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:"Get there!" -- Double Down Trent, Swingers

Although I appreciate the effort, you might want to go back and double-check your facts, there.

Jack Straw wrote:So you're not going to go just because your dad won't be around to take you?
Why don't you just go with your sort-of-a-friend?

Because he's going with a bunch of other people and there really isn't "room."