Jolt Country

Or don't. We had our Yahoo fantasy football draft today-- and thanks to my brother for scheduling it before a night I work, so I can't drink beer during it. Anyway, I ended up with:

QB Aaron Brooks
QB Jake Plummer
QB Drew Brees
RB Deuce McAllister
RB Corey Dillon
RB Shawn Bryson
RB Olandis Gary
WR Issac Bruce
WR Laveranues Coles
WR Keenan McCardell
WR J.J. Stokes
WR Antwaan Randle El
WR Joe Jurevicius
TE Alge Crumpler
K Ryan Longwell
DEF Philadelphia
DEF Denver

gsdgsd wrote:Or don't. We had our Yahoo fantasy football draft today-- and thanks to my brother for scheduling it before a night I work, so I can't drink beer during it. Anyway, I ended up with:

QB Aaron Brooks

I love him but trade him before week 12.

QB Jake Plummer

A definite "wild card."

QB Drew Brees

The Troy Aikman of today's NFL.

RB Deuce McAllister

YEA

RB Corey Dillon

Hates his coach, coach hates him

RB Shawn Bryson
RB Olandis Gary

Pray for Travis Henry to blow out a knee

WR Issac Bruce
WR Laveranues Coles
WR Keenan McCardell
WR J.J. Stokes
WR Antwaan Randle El
WR Joe Jurevicius

Not bad. How many teams in your league?

TE Alge Crumpler

Became less thrilling with Vick out ... I think. I dunno.

K Ryan Longwell

Yeah, he's usually the "best kicker available" when people don't make kicker a priority.

DEF Philadelphia
DEF Denver

Denver should regress, Philly will only get better.... or so I think. I dunno, never done a league with a team defense before.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

QB Jake Plummer

A definite "wild card."

I was pretty pleased to get him as my backup. Last year I got Vick when no one wanted him; I'm hoping for similar luck.

RB Shawn Bryson
RB Olandis Gary

Pray for Travis Henry to blow out a knee

This was more or less a nostalgia pick... by the Gary portion of the draft, the RB pickings were poor. I've got fond memories of his good days in Denver. But yeah, if Henry goes down, I look like FANTASY GENIUS!

Not bad. How many teams in your league?

12 teams. For WRs, I felt like I always do... I got a solid but unspectacular grouping.

TE Alge Crumpler

Became less thrilling with Vick out ... I think. I dunno.

Might actually be better-- the "Vick running" option is out, and the Falcons' WR corps is pretty eh. But beyond Gonzalez, Shockey, Heap and Franks, I'm hard-pressed to name another tight end, and by this point in the draft, they were all gone.

K Ryan Longwell

Yeah, he's usually the "best kicker available" when people don't make kicker a priority.

Exactly. Gramatica/Janikowski/Carney had all just vanished, so I wanted to grab someone before I was left with Garo Yeprieman.

DEF Philadelphia
DEF Denver

Denver should regress, Philly will only get better.... or so I think. I dunno, never done a league with a team defense before.

Denver's only there to fill in on Philly's bye week, which comes early. After that, I'll drop them and pick up the top-rated remaining Tampa Bay player.

I only ended up with two Bucs this year. And I broke my string of wasting a really high pick on Alstott.

Greg

Wait, do you have team defense or individual?

Team defense. It's a weekly-game league, rather than cumulative.

Greg

Oh, I see -- by "top-rated remaining TB player" I ... I gotcha. Top rated QB, WR or RB or whatever. I read that as "top rated TB defensive player."

My draft is tomorrow. 12 teams. I originally was at #11, but I traded the #11 and the #14 pick for the #2 spot. Gotta get me a playmaker. I drafted at #2 last year and wound up with Kurt Warner. Have I mentioned how I hate the Rams? Have I done that lately? NEVER AGAIN.

Here are all of our teams:

http://www.joltcountry.com/nfl/nfl.txt

I'd defend my crappy team by saying that:

1) I traded the #11 and #14 picks for the #2 overall, where I later swapped picks with a guy in the 5th round to move down to the #3 overall pick, where I got McAllister

2) I grabbed Pennington -- literally -- fifteen minutes before he cracked open his hand like a cheap vase

3) The rest of these bitches left Brooks to be the last pick in the third round, so I wasn't being a Saints homer, but instead picking up the most explosive and dangerous quarterback of our generation at a spot about 25 later then where he should have gone

I'd write all that, but whining is for losers. If I get in the top three with the 16 chuds on my team I'm going to feel like Dick Jauron taking the 2001 Bears to 13-3.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'd write all that, but whining is for losers. If I get in the top three with the 16 chuds on my team I'm going to feel like Dick Jauron taking the 2001 Bears to 13-3.

I dont think that will be a problem for you.

I will bury you when we play. Mark my words. Beating you will be my Super Bowl.

Okay, let's just show everyone here just exactly what (if any) damage there might be...

Robb

1. Deuce McAllister, RB, New Orleans Saints
2. Aaron Brooks, QB, New Orleans
3. Curtis Martin, RB, NYJ
4. Brian Urlacher, LB, Chicago
5. Chad Pennington, QB, NYJ
6. Rod Gardner, WR, Washington
7. Takeo Spikes, LB, Buffalo
8. Mike Vanderjagt, K, Indy
9. Alge Crumpler, TE, Atlanta
10, Eddie Kennison, WR, KC
11. Marc Bulger, QB, St. Louis
12. David Patten, WR, NE
13. Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, DE, GB
14. Joey Harrington, QB, Detroit
15. Bryant Johnson, WR, Arizona
16. Mike Anderson, RB, Denver

Now the first thing that caught my eye was anyone from Arizona. Come on give me a break. I don't care what the hype is, that team and all it's players are cursed. So count yourself blessed by the draft gods you didn't get Plummer and start chewing your fingernails you got Johnson.

Noticed a Buffalo pick, had to get someone from the home team right? Well maybe you should of picked someone a little better on the Bills. I mean look at Spikes stats last year. He was on the Bengals so let's give him a little credit but compare last year to the year before. The dude is not coming out of this slump, I don't care what happened to him.

2002 16 G, 16 GS, 1.5 sacks, 0 int, 0 yrds, 1 TD
2001 15 G, 15 GS, 6 sacks, 1 int, 66yrds, 1TD

Granted it's pretty irrelevant for the draft but are we football fans or draft fans? I hope this was your last round pick.

Now McCallister. We've all seen the hype, but first off let me state the one fact left in this game.

Barry Sanders has retired.

Due to that little statistic, that means the running game is dead. Don't argue about it with references to Tampa or Denver or whoever else is the Rushing Buzz-Team of the week. No reason to bother with something that will not put points on the board. I repeat, NOT put points on the board.

The rushing game is dead. NFL should let it die and move on to turning football into basketball. Which is basically what we're seeing with this new wave of Pass, pass, pass, punt, pass, and pass offense this season has shown us so far.

Sure he's got 1000 yards; maybe he'll break 1000 this year too. And 13 td's last year might of won one or two games, but it's not going to keep you consistent game to game. If you don't have a running back built like Sanders/Payton/Lou Gherig you're not going to devote effort into a running offense.

So let's talk about your passing game. (Again, thank God you didn't get Plummer. No bigger whiney, lack of responsibility having, motherfucker in the game these days.)

Aaron Brooks - Now this shows a sliver of promise. Yes, you may have just lucked out on this one. Not only does he have the ability to make the clutch play, he can also support a running play and has no fear of handing the ball to the poor pathetic running back to avoid getting tackled. Look to this guy to remain healthy the whole season and to rack up some respectable numbers in completion percentage and yardage. Or he could break his hand beating his girlfriend and be out for 6 weeks. You never know.

Far as the rest goes, who cares? Your points are all that really matter and as such your defense seems moderately equipped to handle some of the better offenses in the league, but let's just hope your offense can become cohesive enough to not make a total douche bag of you come Pro Bowl weekend.

So, as the ZeKK has spoken, so shall it be posted.

Addendum – Was just informed you’re a huge Saints fan. All is forgiven.

Something like six of the top seven runners in the league last year didn't go to the playoffs, but I think that was a fluke condition:

Ricky Williams would have gone, but Wandsted is one of the worst coaches in the NFL. I was at the last game of the season for the Dolphins (Miami at NE, a Miami win gets them in) and on the Dolphins' last drive, Wannstedt called three straight pass plays. With over 1800 yards Ricky had one of the best running seasons ever and the guy's name wasn't called. What the?! So bad coaching can trump good running.

Deuce & the Saints would have made it, but they lost to Carolina and Cincy to end the season. But that's a whole nother thing.

Running backs, though, are a lot more consistent in our scoring system than wide receivers. We've got the positions set so that everyone plays 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 1 K and three defensive players. Curtis Martin is probably done (a lot of halfbacks hit the wall when they become 30 or 31) but he was the best back on the board when I grabbed him. So yeah, my team sucks but that just means I need to work the waiver wire better.

(Is Bryant Johnson from the Cardinals disappointing people in the pre-season? He was the third WR taken in the real NFL draft this year. I grabbed him because two other guys snagged Charles Rogers and Andre Johnson.)

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I will bury you when we play. Mark my words. Beating you will be my Super Bowl.

I propose a bet equal to $1 per point difference in score.

Are you, as they say... GAME?

I offered to bet you $1000 that I wouldn't finish in last place. Take that bet if you're looking for a little wager to make things more interesting, Mike McD.

Thanks for destroying this once-proud (and once-entertaining) base, everyone. Good luck with all your fake teams full of fake players playing fake games. Hope it was worth it.

pinback wrote:Thanks for destroying this once-proud (and once-entertaining) base, everyone. Good luck with all your fake teams full of fake players playing fake games. Hope it was worth it.

The hell was this base ever proud or entertaining?

TigerCast2003 cries.

TigerCast2003 killed himself because this base turned bad, you know. Not just because Tiger became human.

Hey, did you decide what you are going to do with your cat just yet? Recently, it has come to my attention that one of my friends has a "special needs" cat. You want to know the quickest way to get the whole persona of Ice Cream Jonsey to pretty much break and melt down like the Wicked Witch of the West getting a golden shower? Use the words "special needs" alongside "cat" (or "dog" -- that would work, too).

I mean... damn. Poor kitty. My brother and I have always been sensitive to animals. (Well, the cuddly ones.) The fact that there is a cat out there that just eats and eats and eats and doesn't stop eating because it doesn't know it's supposed to just gets me. So this cat you have to feed (I presume) like a dog -- only give it food when it is time to eat.

Frodo was looking a little chubby in the pic there with Shortcake. Maybe he is a special needs kitty as well? He's certainly not getting enough love and attention from you (I mean, come on, you're actively working on a plan that allows you to floozey yourself around the country and ditch him at first opportunity). So he is more than welcome to drop by for an extended visit in Apartment L201. I think that would be a better solution than having him stay with Clash, because Clash afterall is in radio or, as I refer to it, the Devil's Radio.