The Great Gatsby, a non review

[AArdvark]

I got a wild hair last Saturday night and wanted to watch a movie. I admit there were drinks involved in this decision. The last movie I actually watched was Murder on the Orient Express, with Johnny Depp as the victim. I only wanted to see the visuals because I figured they'd be great, I was not disappointed. This time I went thru he list of movies and saw The Great Gatsby. I remember reading the book in school and thought it was pretty good. I figured this movie would have great 1920s visuals, even if Leonardo DiCaprio and Spiderman were mooching around in it. Plus I've been reading a lot of 1920s news articles recently so I figured this movie would be a nice visual filler kind of thing.
Well, I watched maybe the first three quarters of an hour, just after the modern hip-hop music started playing. I couldn't get into the CGI or the music so I turned it off. I mean, WHY? There's plenty of good period jazz songs they could have put in. But no, they had to go hip hop. Why not have DiCaprio wear Nike shoes and drive a Corvette instead of a model T and drink Red Bull and vodka instead of martinis? It would have the same effect of losing suspension of disbelief.
The next day I went onto IMDB and hate read the reviews. It seems I am not alone. Now I'm just kind of bummed because they had a chance to make a great movie just for me and they failed.

THE
23 SKIDOO
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The one time you give a film a chance with the sound up, and they do this to you!!

[Jizaboz]

Hahaha

I just flat out don't watch movies he is in. Everyone tells me things like "Ohhh but you gotta see all of Inglorious Bastards and Django Unchai.." no, I don't and fuck off! I like some rather pretentious male actors, but I just can't fucking stand this twerp. Remember how big Inception was? I tried to watch it with my girlfriend TWICE. Got wasted and fell asleep both times.

Did you know there is a NES game for Great Gatsby based on the original?

[bryanb]

Did you know there is a NES game for Great Gatsby based on the original?

You can play it online! It's goofy, fun, and, based on Vark's take, probably better than the movie.

[Casual Observer]

Hahaha

I just flat out don't watch movies he is in. Everyone tells me things like "Ohhh but you gotta see all of Inglorious Bastards and Django Unchai.." no, I don't and fuck off! I like some rather pretentious male actors, but I just can't fucking stand this twerp. Remember how big Inception was? I tried to watch it with my girlfriend TWICE. Got wasted and fell asleep both times.

Did you know there is a NES game for Great Gatsby based on the original?

DeCaprio wasn't in Bastards, that was Brad Pitt.

Django was funny, DeCaprio is nowhere near the main character. Jamie Foxx and Christolf Waltz are always good.

[AArdvark]

I settled for YouTube clips with no sound. It was better than actually watching the movie

[Jizaboz]

DeCaprio wasn't in Bastards, that was Brad Pitt.

huh lol for some reason I thought he co-starred in it. I didn't enjoy it as much as most seemed to. At least, the parts I saw.

[Casual Observer]

DeCaprio wasn't in Bastards, that was Brad Pitt.

huh lol for some reason I thought he co-starred in it. I didn't enjoy it as much as most seemed to. At least, the parts I saw.

Honestly I think Tarrantino is right to limit his lifetime number of movies. His latest ones were hit and miss. I can't even bring myself to watch that hollywood one.

[pinback]

A rare miss from CO.

[Casual Observer]

And to think I almost unblocked that guy, its so nice to have to log out if I want to see some drivel

[Jizaboz]

A rare miss from CO.

Not at all. Fuck him as a director. Only mostly enjoyed Pulp Fiction. He's an idiot and his movies are so predictable.

[Flack]

In my head, this conversation is taking place as part of a focus group after watching a film.

[pinback]

A rare miss from CO.

Not at all. Fuck him as a director. Only mostly enjoyed Pulp Fiction. He's an idiot and his movies are so predictable.

Insanity.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Can we agree that the opening of Inglorious Basterds was a high point in cinema? And the movie has one of the stupidest names ever?

[Tdarcos]

Can we agree that the opening of Inglorious Basterds was a high point in cinema? And the movie has one of the stupidest names ever?

And it is potentially another reason people misspell things, as this quote from my book points out. In this segment, everyone in the scene is dead and this is the afterlife they wound up in:

/////He heard some people say, “There he is!” excitedly. It did not sound like the anger of a mob, but Supervisor 246 never takes chances, he always leaves his Immunity from Assault privilege enabled except when alone with people he trusts. Someone walks up to him. “246, you have got to see this,” and points over toward a different row. He walks over to where a man is holding a sign that reads “SUPERVISOR 246 IS A RACIST SKINHEAD BASTERD WHO DESERVES TO BE STRUNG UP BY HIS BALLS.”
/////246 walks up to the man and looks at him as if he is angry. In a rather harsh tone, he says to the man, “Young man, what is your name?”
/////“Ralph 30445"
/////He looks at Ralph for a few minutes, studying him and his sign. Apparently doing a slow burn, or so it seems, he finally says, again in a harsh tone, “Ralph, give me your sign, now, please.”
/////The man smiles. “No. What you going to do about it?”
/////“If you do not give me your sign I’ll hire people to stand on every square near you holding a sign pointing at you that says ‘That man, Ralph 30445, is an incompetent fool who does not know what he is doing, ask me why.’ and they’ll be able to tell people exactly why if they can’t figure it out. Now hand me your sign, now, please.”
/////While this is happening, a man with a video camera was recording the whole thing. Ralph decides to hand 246 his sign.
/////246's tone returns to normal. “Thank you, Ralph. I see you have a marker there. Would you hand it to me, please?” The man does so. 246 makes some marks on the sign, and hands it back to the man. “Here’s your sign and your marker back, thank you. Next time, spell the word ‘bastard’ correctly as I have done on your sign and people won’t think you’re stupid, okay?”
/////The man stands there, clearly not happy that 246 wasn’t upset. “But, I thought it was spelled right, and I figured you’d get mad and tear up this sign.”
/////“Well, First I intend to have a serious talking to Quentin Tarantino when he shows up here...”

[Jizaboz]

A rare miss from CO.

Not at all. Fuck him as a director. Only mostly enjoyed Pulp Fiction. He's an idiot and his movies are so predictable.

Insanity.

Jaws is one of the greatest movies ever made. Wayyy better than most his shit and I don't think you can disagree with that, SIR. Jaws is a better movie than Reservoir Dogs. Fuck that movie.

[Jizaboz]

Can we agree that the opening of Inglorious Basterds was a high point in cinema? And the movie has one of the stupidest names ever?

I will have to re-watch to confirm how stupid and how much it sucked! I'm pretty sure yr right though.. like I started to watch it and after a while just got bored or tired and tuned out.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

There's tension, unless you're on the side of Nazi Germany, in which case there is some other emotion happening that I can't really articulate for someone else.

[Tdarcos]

There's tension, unless you're on the side of Nazi Germany, in which case there is some other emotion happening that I can't really articulate for someone else.

Somebody pointed out how Tarrantino is trying to show the audience its own hypocrisy. This is a theatre¹, in Nazi Germany, where the patrons are watching a video of Jews being killed, and liking the fact those worthless people are dying, which we find repulsive. Then they, themselves, are locked into a theatre which is set on fire, and they are burned alive, and we like the fact those worthless people are dying.


- - - -
¹ Since this occurs in Europe, I use the British spelling instead of the American spelling, "theater."

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yeah, but one group of those people are not movie villain Nazi Germany Nazis.