Jolt Country

Kevin Smith's Clerks, released in 1994, was one of the first films I remember that not only spoke to and about but was created by my generation. In that film, clerks Dante and Randall are 22 years old; I was 21 when it was released. Between the Star Wars banter and sexual jokes, Clerks didn't feel like it was made by old people; it felt like someone my age got their hands on a camera and made a movie. In retrospect it wasn't a great movie, but it was our movie.

Kevin Smith has always been transparent (sometimes to a fault) in his material. Smith was, of course, working as a clerk at the convenient store he filmed Clerks in. In some of his more recent films Smith has become even more meta, like in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot in which the fictional movie Jay and Silent Bob starred in (Bluntman and Chronic) is rebooted. Things get even more meta in Clerks III, a film where art imitates (and even apes at time) life. Several years ago, Smith suffered a "widowmaker" heart attack and nearly died. After recovering, Smith publicly announced that his first project would be a new movie. In Clerks III, clerk Randall suffers a heart attack and decides to make a movie based on his and Dante's experiences working at the convenient store. In other words, in Clerks III, Randall sets out to make his own version of Clerks (which doesn't exist in their universe).

Fans of the original Clerks will enjoy all the callbacks to the original film as the fictional Dante and Randall play themselves in the fictional version of clerks. Several of the bits from both the original film as well as some of the sequels are recreated and referenced. There are plenty of throwbacks and cameos to placate fans of the View Askewniverse. Along with Dante and Randall, Jay and Silent Bob are back (of course) along with Elias (from Mooby's) and his new silent friend, Blockchain.

There are two problems with Clerks III. The first is, 90% of the movie feels like it's on rails. We know Randall and Dante are going to make their own version of Clerks, we can guess at some point they'll get into a fight and make up, and we know, at least in general, how things are going to end. Save for one major twist late in the third act, the majority of the film is very predictible. To combat this, Smith attempts to inject some depth into Dante's character by peeking in on a couple of his previous relationships. While both Randall and Dante have their share of voice-cracking emotional dialogs, it's Dante who gets most of the really emotional scenes, and unfortunately due to either Dante's acting or Smith's writing, they never take off. When Randall and Dante bicker about the way each one is being treated, it feels like those issues would have been ironed out somewhere along the way of their 30-year friendship.

Clerks III isn't going to win Smith any new fans; those who have been along for the ride will appreciate the send off.

Thanks for writing this.

There were parts of the Silent Bob reboot that were dumb and cringeworthy and I couldn't make it through. Are..... There pieces like that to Clerks III?

For the record, I thought Clerks II was great.

I am going to assume that, yes, there were parts that were very, very cringeworthy. I may try to pay Smith for a viewing anyway.

There are two things I would describe as cringeworthy. The first is when Kevin Smith thinks of a joke and takes what should be a 30 second joke and turns it into a five minute bit. The idea of famous actors auditioning to be in the fake Clerks movie directed by Randal and Dante is a funny joke. We need 2-3 clips of famous people saying "I'm not even supposed to BE here today!", and that's it. Instead it's this long montage that feels like Kevin Smith called in a dozen Hollywood favors and had people come in for an hour each.

The other cringeworthy thing, which is not new to Smith's works, are when characters go on long speeches and/or rants. Some of Smith's dialog is witty and funny but a lot of it is just ranting, and when Dante goes off on Randal for several minutes, it's like this twisted diatrib of words and analogies and tongue-twisters and during the entire performance all I can think of it, I've never seen anyone act like this in real life. I get it's a movie and he's making a point, but one or two lines followed with a "fuck you, buddy" would suffice. There are moments that feel like Smith wants to prove that he can write and he can direct and that these people can act, and maybe all those things are true, but he throws them in between blow job jokes and scenes of the Mooby cow dancing in slow motion and so the tone of those scenes is off. It's like getting a serious speech about global warming in the middle of a Woody Woodpecker cartoon.

Kevin Smith movies are little more than recycled inside jokes and characters - and everything he put out went downhill after the first Jay and Silent Bob movie (which was 50% hilarity and 50% cringe).