Jolt Country

Could I beat pinback in chess if

1. He went out of his way to make the worst move he could think of without systematically exposing his king and

2. I'm trying my best to defeat him

I don't think I could do it in under 35 moves.

Disagree.

I have sent you a link to our game on Discord. You play white.

I'm going to get the living shit kicked out of me. I have signed up for a beating most vicious!

I guess we need to clarify the rules. Here's my take:

1. If I'm about to be mated, I can defend.
2. If you're about to be mated, I can mate.

1. f3, followed by 1. f4, seem to be agreed upon to be the two worst opening moves.

Looking forward to watching the match unfold. I'll bring the popcorn.

1. f3 2. g4 (f6/g5 for black) are the worst two moves because you can get mated on the next move.

(I'm not doing that, because I was asked not to intentionally, obviously get myself killed.)

pinback wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:59 am 1. f3 2. g4 (f6/g5 for black) are the worst two moves because you can get mated on the next move.

(I'm not doing that, because I was asked not to intentionally, obviously get myself killed.)

Yeah, we want shitty moves but not so shitty that even a person like myself can see them.

I am ATTACKING THE CENTRE OF THE BOARD!!

You can all follow the game here: https://lichess.org/khr4siIMa4bs

This was a debacle.

I still don't know how to play chess.

Don't use the replay of that game as any sort of guide.
I only "won" because Pinback left my queen up for like 10 turns with two pieces that could kill her.

Also on move 24, ...Qe1 was checkmate, but I forget I said I would do that, so I didn't. What a guy.

Wait, you could have checkmated me??

Yes, move 24.

I would like to request a ?? in our notation.

Jizaboz wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:32 am I still don't know how to play chess.

There is a very good article about Chess on Wikipedia. Even better, there is an excellent audio version of the article from about four years ago. I know the audio version is superb because I read it; it takes about one hour and fifteen minutes to listen to it. In fact, I need to re-record the article, I usually do it every 4-5 years, and I'm behind schedule.

How much can we pay you to re read it and substitute the word knight throughout with horsie?

Tdarcos wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:55 pm There is an excellent article about Chess on Wikipedia

Oh. My. God. This is absolutely earth shattering news. Does anyone else know about this? Who else knows about this, this, magical thing what do you call it. . . Wiki pedophilia?

Haha audio version it is then. I’ll try.

I know how some of the pieces move, especially the knight due to playing “Knight Moves” on Famicom/NES. Pawns move one or 2 spaces forward. Bishops move diagonal.. and other than that I’m lost and know jack dick about strategy.

May I suggest another version of this, where we both try our best, but I don't have, let's say, a queen. Or a queen and a bishop, or whatever.