Jolt Country

Yesterday, in Berthilda's Kitchen, I posted a message in the thread about Flack's homemade Raspberry-Pi-based poster display system. I wrote:

Tdarcos wrote: Sun May 10, 2020 12:43 pm

AArdvark wrote: Sun May 10, 2020 8:08 am Maybe you could write a script for him and calm nerves?

Before I got sick, I had 3 raspberry Pis. Now I don't have any, so I have no way to write anything. Also, for reasons I will explain later today, It's doubtful I could do any programming.

Ywsterday I started having tremors. (Okay, the sadistic may stop cheering now.) These ranged from mild shaking like if you were cold, to severe ones that my hands shook so badly that I could not hold anything hot to drink because the cup would slosh so violently I'd spill it all over myself. Which I did, once, fortunately it spilled on my gown and was hot, not scalding.

Trying to do programming under those conditions would probably be near impossible.

I told an aide about my problem, who either spoke to a doctor, or to a nurse who spoke to the doctor, and within a few minutes - blinding fast for the usual speed they do things around here - someone came in with a prescription, twice daily, which she said they give it to patients with Parkinsons Disease. I had looked up tremor on Wikipedia and it did identify that as one of its causes.

I took the pill and waited to see what happened, figuring it might be a couple days for it to work. Oh no! Within about 4 hours, the severity declined and the frequency went from "near-continuous" or every couple of seconds, to maybe once a minute, in sort of "bell curve" drop, where it gradually declines to nothing. They may have given me a second pill, and if nothing changed they gave me two more today.

A female practitioner, was probably a doctor but might have been a nurse, asked me how I was and what had been done. She asked if I'd had them before, and I remembered, it was once, months ago. I think it was back in room 240, lasted 1/2 a day, and was not as sever, just annoying. Don't remember if it just stopped or I also took something then.

She said she'd check on it, to find out what they are giving me. I never did hear from her, so I don't know what they gave me. Could be placebo but I doubt it. In any event, it works great. I've not noticed any reduction in my intellectual capacity, which I've heard some drugs to stop brain operational failures do.

Att thys poynt I psell perfeck a bunnch of werds to shew my great brane capeabillitty. Sorri four misinng thee 1- annd 2-letur werds, butt I can't do evrytheng worng.

I have been tremor free all day, and hopefully this will continue.

I mean, you say that you can't program with Parkinsons, but Pinback and I determined that it takes 13 steps to enable an "All Mail" view on Outlook. You couldn't possibly be doing worse than the dumb shits on that one.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Mon May 11, 2020 5:25 pm I mean, you say that you can't program with Parkinsons, but Pinback and I determined that it takes 13 steps to enable an "All Mail" view on Outlook. You couldn't possibly be doing worse than the dumb shits on that one.

You know, that gives me an idea for another Zenith National Bank story:

Joe Colman: Look, Fred, you've made too many mistakes and errors, and the bank can't afford it, I'm going to have to let you go.
Fred Wurst: But other people here make mistakes, some lots worse than mine, and you didn't fire them!
Joe: Like whom?
Fred: Charley cost us $100,000, and all you did was tell him to do better. Larry cost the bank a major customer who switched to Citibank!
Joe: Charley was doing an install of a massively complicated system, and when it went live, an error occurred, which overpaid customers. I had him standing here, like you are, and I was afraid I was going to have to fire him, too. So, I went through the manual, did an installation on the test partition exactly the way the instructions said, and I made the exact same mistake he made! If it had been on a live system, I would have cost the company the same money. I can't blame him for following reasonable instructions when they're wrong and he couldn't know it.

As for Larry, he saved about half that customer's business. They were going to move everything to Citi, only he showed them that yes, certain things they can do better, but for their direct local needs, we could outperform them.

And before you mention Frank, he does twice the work you do, makes half the mistakes, when he does, they're minor, and he takes medicine for Parkinson's disease, has Aspbergers, autism, anemia, arrhythmia, arthritis, and amenorrhea. Further...
Fred: How does a man have irregular menstrual periods?
Joe: You are paying attention! Do that more often and we won't be having this conversation again. You can go back to work.

What? What is this? Who are these people? Zenith made televisions. Is this made up?

I think it is best explained with a story.

Fred: Hello, Zenith salesman. I have some money and am in need of a television.
Salesman: Well, you are in luck as that is what we sell here, when we're not making soup.
Fred: Well that's great because I need a television and I like soup!
Salesman: You are in the right place then! We specialize in color televisions, which were first sold on December 17, 1953.
Fred: Can you connect cable to these televisions?
Larry: The soup is made of bats! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah na-na-na-na BATMAN.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 6:40 am What? What is this? Who are these people? Zenith made televisions. Is this made up?

Back in the 1920s, Sinclair Lewis (author of Elmer Gantry) wrote some stories, one had a real city referenced in it with a negative light, and he got lots of flak over it. So, beginning with Babbitt Lewis used the fictional midwestern town of Zenith, located in the fictional state of Winnemac (used by taking pieces from Michigan, Ohio, and Illinois.)

The book that first used Zenith is in the public domain, so I can use it too. (This is why anyone can write their own version of Sherlock Holmes, as long as they don't use pieces of still-protected works.)

From their commercial:
"Zenith National Bank is headquartered right here in Zenith, a medium-sized regional bank, big enough to handle most commercial customers, small enough to actually be interested in and care about individual customers. We have 52 branches and over 300 ATMs all over Winnemac. In a way, it's like we're right near you. Zenith National Bank, Member FDIC."

I think you can stop worrying about plagiarism here at Jolt Country. We'll never tell.

AArdvark wrote: Wed May 13, 2020 2:52 am I think you can stop worrying about plagiarism here at Jolt Country. We'll never tell.

By the way, did you know Billy Mays used one of your cartoons in a response to me?

So, 'Vark, you can refer to me by my new name, Nark, or the alternative, Narc.

I got lost somewhere. Was this about movies, or sex?

Oh, he doesn't know the difference anymore...

Commander, I knew all about Billy copying my Assburger cartoon to the other thread. It's not like I'm worried about people making money off them or anything. It's a nice hobby and that's it.

THE
PART TIME
AARVDARK

AArdvark wrote: Wed May 13, 2020 3:02 pm Commander, I knew all about Billy copying my Assburger cartoon

I figured you did, but remember, someone who tells on someone's misdeeds is said to "narc" on them.

THE
THAT JOKE NEVER WORKS
TDARCOS

Oh by the way, I have another Aardvark cartoon coming.