Jolt Country

First off, if you have a webpage hosted by anyone other than PoeHosting -- http://www.poehosting.com -- then I don't know what to tell you. That is really going to stress our friendship. PoeHosting is so good and so quick, it's actually kind of ridiculous.

Here are the top ten keywords that have brought people to this site for this year. (The first was no referral.)

2. adult interactive fiction 887 1.68%
3. full throttle download 364 0.69%
4. pick up the phone booth and die 285 0.54%
5. full throttle game download 272 0.51%
6. download full throttle 203 0.38%
7. nfl mock draft 184 0.35%
8. halothane 134 0.25%
9. full throttle lucasarts 129 0.24%
10. hairy girl 125 0.24%
11. famke jannsen nude 120 0.23%

I don't understand most of this. Here are some other notables:

14. elisa bridges 86 0.16% (Thanks, Ben!)
18. amy smart 70 0.13% (Thanks that one post in the Troll Room with linked norp!)
58. paul steed 27 0.05% (Thanks, me!)
84. mein comp 20 0.04% (Thanks, Eric!)
156. robb sherwin 12 0.02% (#156! Whoo-hoo!)
155. seasons of sakura download 12 0.02% (#155! Er. I have no idea what Seasons of Sakura is.)

Oh. And #200? The 200th thing that gets people to this site?

200. what is the best way to masturbate 9 0.02%

I'll be shutting down the site momentarily. It's been real, guys!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: 155. seasons of sakura download 12 0.02% (#155! Er. I have no idea what Seasons of Sakura is.)

It's a Hentai graphic (very graphic) adventure.

Actually quite good.

See, Vitriola, I knew this. That's why you should come to CGE2K3 and boff me.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
3. full throttle download 364 0.69%
5. full throttle game download 272 0.51%
6. download full throttle 203 0.38%
9. full throttle lucasarts 129 0.24%

Well, damn. Damn damn. Is it wrong to feel annoyment and disdain towards warezing little bastards trying to leech off of complete strangers? I wonder how many of them actually read the review.

No, seriously: based on the comments I figure about a quarter of them (minimum) must've been gimmick posters (possibly created by 'JeffK!!1!'). Some of the work was nice, whoever did it. But I mean, come on. Nobody in the real world actually delivers a quote like

This game rules guys....but will u get the damn link to download or not i wanna download it!!

Badly punctuated tantrums in the hopes of intimidating me into providing someone with a free 300MB+ download? Riiiiiiight. Sure. Oh, please -- kids with autism have better interpersonal negotiation skills. No way I can take this "Buddy Keys" seriously. Funny, though.

So, anyone want to own up? Some of these were so far over the top as to be obvious parody, and we're all in on the joke. Fess up -- one of you even slipped up and input the date as November 30, 2003. Check it if you don't believe me.

PTX

Oh, I do the entries, and consequently the dates, by hand. So I messed up there. I don't have a script or anything that puts those comments up, which is why it takes me seven months to get them posted.

I could buy it being a gimmick, but you *are* getting the hits there, PTX. Which is odd, because I couldn't get the review to come up on Google's first page of links for "full throttle" or "full throttle review" and so forth.

Additionally:

1) What the fuck is a "Full Throttled bd HETHRO"?

2) If one of those guys had actually thrown a link up as to where the game could be downloaded, I wouldn't not post it. I mean, it's easier for me to cut and paste like a monkey than do any sort of editorial control over the comments. But they haven't. Except for that Spanish version. With no sound. Hola, bd HETHRO amigos!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I could buy it being a gimmick, but you *are* getting the hits there, PTX. Which is odd, because I couldn't get the review to come up on Google's first page of links for "full throttle" or "full throttle review" and so forth.

Exactly. Exactly my point. Gotta be a gimmick. All the short-attention-span 14-year-olds who actually do write stuff like that couldn't possibly make it past the first page of a search.

Now that I think of it, I'd like to forward the theory that perhaps nobody at all (plus perhaps a small statistical variance) types like this. It's all just people trolling and making ironic references to a no-longer-or-possibly-never-extant subculture of short-attention-span 14-year-olds.

I just can't buy it, man.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: 155. seasons of sakura download 12 0.02% (#155! Er. I have no idea what Seasons of Sakura is.)

Anyone who knows Japanese imports well enough to recognize the whole "points to get women to fall in love with you" gimmick from Seasons of Sakura will not only be thoroughly ashamed of themselves in a few years if they aren't already, but also recognize a lot of what goes on in these games as being distinctly "in genre".

Hey, so I managed to bring 12 people into the Jolt Country series of webpages by mentioning a hentai game in my PK Girl review, and then promptly insulted those self-same 12. Outstanding!

Hey, so I managed to bring 12 people into the Jolt Country series of webpages by mentioning a hentai game in my PK Girl review, and then promptly insulted those self-same 12. Outstanding!

Outstanding, indeed, my friend. Ah-hahaha!

With Debaser and Protagonist X both now posting at the same time -- along with a non-gimmick version of Ben, some posters who are actual women, and everyone else who has been bringing it strong lately, I would like to officially proclaim this to be the First Golden Age of the Jolt Country BBS.

This is the time that, in a few years, we will be refering back to when the BBS is little more than a stomping ground for kids shouting, "Bring Back Pre-Casting, Beeyatch," and "IF sux."

fart

hehehe

OK, we're now back to the Stone Age.