Jolt Country

First of all, I trolled you with MYSELF, which as far as I'm concerned is the greatest feat ever to be accomplished on the internet. I went so far as to create an entire new webpage for it. THAT, friends, is dedication.

And this post has nothing to do with Robb's idiotic "three days" premonition (even though by my count, it's exactly three days.....now). I could have gone on like this for MONTHS, beefing up the New Vision page until you were all ready to call social services (then later the police) and send them to my house. I had a whole thing planned. It was going to be beautiful. It was going to be my finest achievement. It was GOING to be... Pinback's REAL Summer Project.

But now it's not. And do you know why?

Is it because I was unprepared to follow through? Is it because I had not properly planned out the course that this gag was to take? On the contrary. As I said, I had a Grand Scheme in mind that would make Spacey's plan in Seven look like a ten-foot stroll to the can to take a piss.

Is it because I was simply unable to come up with the proper words? Unable to express myself convincingly enough? Unable to pull it off? Nope, not quite. You get one more guess...

Nope, wrong again. The correct answer is that YOU people are a disaster. YOU people failed me, as you have so many times, in living up to your end of the bargain. I fucking POLLUTE this BBS with brilliantly crafted missives about peace and beauty, and what do you do? Do you get worked up into a violent rage about my inappropriate material? Do you engage in interesting, in-depth analyses of my behavior? Do you at least acknowledge that someone, SOMEONE finally got off their ass and put a little effort into SOMETHING on this BBS (besides coming up with, and then debunking ridiculous government conspiracy plots)?

No. You do what you always do. You sit on your fucking ass, hitting Refresh fourteen times a second, hoping someone, SOMETHING will come along, post a fart sound effect on the Troll Room, and just for a couple seconds at least assuage your cancerous black wad of ennui that you've got shoved up your ass.

Christ, even the Sysop was *apologizing* for posting on the topic.

I've been disappointed many times by this web page. But congratulations, folks. You finally outdid yourself.

In conclusion, you all SUCK, and I hope you die. Shortly after reading this, and in a prickly, searing heat of shame and self-loathing, if you can find a way to work that out.

But have a nice day.

Where was I apologizing for posting "on-topic," you fucking fraud? I don't know what you mean. Do you mean I apoligised for posting about a topic in a non-you-fucked-in-the-head thread, or that I apologised for posting on-topic in one of the thousands of threads you started up about all this?

I need some links here, if you are going to involve me in all this. I was the only one who wanted the "old" you back. I was the only one who refused to give up the goddamn ghost. The ghost was in a pocket. In my pants. Next to my giant SysOp-sized COCK.

Also: thr33 dayz lol

For what it's worth, I really liked that happy pinback. His cheery posts had me laughing out loud (er, lol!), and I thought it was a refreshing and new joke in an age that most others seem stale. I even sent some personal messages to this happy pinback, and even that was more enjoyable than usual.

But now it's over.

In conclusion, you all SUCK, and I hope you die.

How do you like THAT, Pinner? Fraud Pinback is more loved and cherished than REAL Pinback! EAT IT!!

I will conclude this mail by saying that you all suck and I hope you all die. If you -- all of whom are already sucking -- could immediately start dying, that would be greatly appreciated.

Thanx!!!

I thought Cheery Pinback was alright. I got a kick out of it and how everyone reacted. I simply didn't feel the need to affirm that in every post ... I though believe I had in one. I liked the story about the Bartender ... what can I say I like stories that are from Chicken Soup for the Soul. I am a fucking sap! There isn't much I don't think is pretty funny. But, if Ben was to go on with his website and post life affirming stuff all day I would eat it up because it would probably be good.

Worm wrote:But, if Ben was to go on with his website and post life affirming stuff all day I would eat it up because it would probably be good.

Yes! YES, indeed.

What Mr Parrish fails to realize is that he somehow still has a fanbase even though he hasn't brought the content on a regular basis on his website in years now and has generally insulted each and every person he's come in contact with over the Internet, whether it's here, on PWC3BBS or in alt.fan.rush. There are still people out there who have faith in him and are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. This is because Parrish has, at the core of things, nowhere near enough self-esteem as per a man with his rich history of comedic stylings.

I fucking tried, you assholes. Here's me, going on and making a whole fucking thread deticated to Parrish's new happiness disease, and what do you people do but fucking ignore it. Yeesh.
I suspected from the beginning that this was all a big hoax. However, I pushed that thought into the back of my mind. Why? Because that was the most realistic answer. Let's face it: realistic answers are never as entertaining as the non-realistic ones.
In conclusion, I suck, and I hope I die.
...wait, wait, that's not--Blaaarrgh.

I'm disappointed in Pinback, (that's you, Pinback), 'cuz I did analyze his (yours, Pinback) behavior, in James Bond's thread, and he (you, Pinback) didn't respond. Ah well.

I agree with most everybody on here, happy Pinback was pretty entertaining too. And, by the way, I know you were liker, Pinback, and that was rad too.

long live super race town!


looper

loop wrote:I agree with most everybody on here, happy Pinback was pretty entertaining too. And, by the way, I know you were liker, Pinback, and that was rad too.

long live super race town!

This guy -- to this day -- still writes e-mails as "liker" as well. It is not a pretty thing to put together a well-phrased and properly spelled electronic mail on some topic or another and get...

???

...back as a reply.

Yeah, liker was pretty rad.

pinback wrote:I could have gone on like this for MONTHS, beefing up the New Vision page until you were all ready to call social services (then later the police) and send them to my house.

You know, I'm somehow reminded of one of the quotes that crystallized, well, my life for me.

The scene: we're sitting at a friend's apartment. His upstairs neighbor, who had been a recovering alcoholic holding down a landscaping job, had gone on a huge bender and had hit the sauce pretty hard, and had showed up trying to beg booze from us, which was scary and sad and pathetic all at once.

And we were thinking about calling AA to stage an intervention or something.

And my dear friend Ali said, and I quote,

"I dunno. I feel pretty silly calling AA when we've all been drinking all night."

There you have it.

Bruce

So I feel much better now. But I think that the curmugeny exterior hides a much nicer person on the inside.

THE
FREUD
AARDVARK

FUCK you.

pinback wrote:FUCK you.

I liked the Happy Cheery Pinback better.

Bruce

I KILLED him with a SPUD gun. Or rather, he was KILLED with a SPUD gun.

Ah, I see we are now going through the "bitter contempt for all living things, but mostly the JC membership" phase. Carry on, carry on. Just remember that the enemies you choose to make over the next three years have memories too.

Oh dear. I certainly do not wish to make any enemies, least of all on this BBS, which has come to be something of a second home for me over the years! If I have offended anyone in the past, please accept my most sincere apologies.

If I may move the conversation to something a little more pleasant, is it as nice where you are as it is where I am? It is sunny, warm, and I can't remember if I've ever seen a sky so blue!

Happy Pinback wrote: If I may move the conversation to something a little more pleasant, is it as nice where you are as it is where I am? It is sunny, warm, and I can't remember if I've ever seen a sky so blue!

As long as my diabetes stays under control, I'm glad you're back.

Bruce

I predict that that spurting, disgusting animated penis makes an appearance in the Rocker thread. I predict this before I have been over there. I hate that gif, but the prediction is now made.

Time to check!

Damn you, Bruce. Damn you for not being predictable.


... But please, don't post that thing.