The Sandwich don't play that.Knuckles the CLown wrote:challange you to a duel.
[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women 2K5!
Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey
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Knuckles the Sandwich
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pinback
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Casual Observer
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Deliberate Observer
Let's be honest with each other. Casual, I've become more than a little disillusioned and dispirited by the petty and piddling posts you've been making.
You're finished. It's over. It's time for "new management" to step in.
However, seeing as you're my brother, I will offer you one last chance. If you fail, I expect you to fully and willingly hand over the reigns to the Observer dynasty.
For the last time, inspire us!
You're finished. It's over. It's time for "new management" to step in.
However, seeing as you're my brother, I will offer you one last chance. If you fail, I expect you to fully and willingly hand over the reigns to the Observer dynasty.
For the last time, inspire us!
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Knuckles the Sandwich
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Guest
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pinback
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Filippe J. Suckmonger??!?!!
She's dating some guy in Oklahoma named Filippe J. Suckmonger!?!?!?
She's dating some guy in Oklahoma named Filippe J. Suckmonger!?!?!?
Code: Select all
Dear God,
This is a joke, right?
Up Yours Truly,
Pinback
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.
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pinback
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pinback
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Here's what I wrote to Clash on the subject:
---------------------------------------
> Let's hear it.
I hope this comes across as well as it did in real life. You'll get the general theme, in any case.
So, there we were, just sitting there in the lab, doing our little testing and whatnot. I busied myself uploading a new PG/GG (http://purpleguygreenguy.com), while she returned one of her six thousand phone messages from the other douchebag guys who work here and she calls close friends. Of course, I couldn't help but overhear:
"Blah blah blah yeah blah blah blah this that the other blah blah blah... oh, Filippe J. Suckmonger called me last night."
My ears perk up, as I quickly start searching for a handy bottle of sleeping pills to swallow.
"Yeah, he said he wasn't ignoring me, he just needed some time to think about what I had told him."
Pause.
"Yeah, because I'm not all that thrilled about the idea of living in Oklahoma."
I stared blankly at Purple and Green, as I felt the hammer finally, after three torturous weeks, drop. Filippe J. Suckmonger in Oklahoma. There you have it.
She hangs up the phone. Torturous seconds pass like aeons.
Oh, but she's a chatty one, this one. Can't just let a nigga wish he was dead in silence. No, now she's back talking about her new house, and she's gotta figure out what she wants to DO with her life, and she was taking a career... what the hell was it, a career... not profiler... ah, no matter, the words were passing through me not so much as communication vessels, than as invisible, poison-tipped machetes.
And then, the word we've all been waiting for, and which there should be a law instituted that they must either say the word immediately or never at all, finally rears its head:
"And my boyfriend -- well, like, my boyfriend on-and-off for like eight years, he lives in Oklahoma, and it's like... I just bought a house, and I don't wanna go live in OK, and he's got his own stuff going, so I dunno."
I play along, resigned at this point to the ultimate pointlessness of my life, "Yeah, well, some of the strongest relationships I know are between people who never see each other! Heh!" And I act interested, "So, he comes to visit here, or you go there, or what?"
"Well, yeah, we do both. Like, every three months or so."
"Ah."
"But, I'm really sick of it."
Uh huh.
"So I told him, like, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I kinda wanna see other people. So, y'know, I don't know what's going to happen."
You've got... you HAVE GOT to be kidding me. "Yeah, well, those LD things can be tough." (or some equally banal bullshit.)
At one point, she asks me if *I* have a girlfriend. I say, no. Somehow, the conversation turns to online matching sites. She says, "And, well, my parents want me to be with an Indian, so, they've got Indian matching sites for that."
(And every time I think I'm out...)
I say, "Is the Oklahoma guy an Indian?"
"No, actually, he's black. And I haven't told my parents. But you know, I'm 30 now, and I'm sick of living for them!"
(...they PULL ME BACK IN.)
We test for another hour or so, and then finally leave at 2:30 AM, with the understanding we'd get online when we got home and do more testing from our respective external locations.
And then the next two hours are spent goofing around on AIM, playing with the little icons, giggling like school children. Me, and this Indian woman with the black guy in Oklahoma who she's not sure what's going to happen, because she wants to see other people, who are Indian, but maybe not, and no, I do NOT have a girlfriend.
Un. Fucking.
Believable.
---------------------------------------
> Let's hear it.
I hope this comes across as well as it did in real life. You'll get the general theme, in any case.
So, there we were, just sitting there in the lab, doing our little testing and whatnot. I busied myself uploading a new PG/GG (http://purpleguygreenguy.com), while she returned one of her six thousand phone messages from the other douchebag guys who work here and she calls close friends. Of course, I couldn't help but overhear:
"Blah blah blah yeah blah blah blah this that the other blah blah blah... oh, Filippe J. Suckmonger called me last night."
My ears perk up, as I quickly start searching for a handy bottle of sleeping pills to swallow.
"Yeah, he said he wasn't ignoring me, he just needed some time to think about what I had told him."
Pause.
"Yeah, because I'm not all that thrilled about the idea of living in Oklahoma."
I stared blankly at Purple and Green, as I felt the hammer finally, after three torturous weeks, drop. Filippe J. Suckmonger in Oklahoma. There you have it.
She hangs up the phone. Torturous seconds pass like aeons.
Oh, but she's a chatty one, this one. Can't just let a nigga wish he was dead in silence. No, now she's back talking about her new house, and she's gotta figure out what she wants to DO with her life, and she was taking a career... what the hell was it, a career... not profiler... ah, no matter, the words were passing through me not so much as communication vessels, than as invisible, poison-tipped machetes.
And then, the word we've all been waiting for, and which there should be a law instituted that they must either say the word immediately or never at all, finally rears its head:
"And my boyfriend -- well, like, my boyfriend on-and-off for like eight years, he lives in Oklahoma, and it's like... I just bought a house, and I don't wanna go live in OK, and he's got his own stuff going, so I dunno."
I play along, resigned at this point to the ultimate pointlessness of my life, "Yeah, well, some of the strongest relationships I know are between people who never see each other! Heh!" And I act interested, "So, he comes to visit here, or you go there, or what?"
"Well, yeah, we do both. Like, every three months or so."
"Ah."
"But, I'm really sick of it."
Uh huh.
"So I told him, like, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I kinda wanna see other people. So, y'know, I don't know what's going to happen."
You've got... you HAVE GOT to be kidding me. "Yeah, well, those LD things can be tough." (or some equally banal bullshit.)
At one point, she asks me if *I* have a girlfriend. I say, no. Somehow, the conversation turns to online matching sites. She says, "And, well, my parents want me to be with an Indian, so, they've got Indian matching sites for that."
(And every time I think I'm out...)
I say, "Is the Oklahoma guy an Indian?"
"No, actually, he's black. And I haven't told my parents. But you know, I'm 30 now, and I'm sick of living for them!"
(...they PULL ME BACK IN.)
We test for another hour or so, and then finally leave at 2:30 AM, with the understanding we'd get online when we got home and do more testing from our respective external locations.
And then the next two hours are spent goofing around on AIM, playing with the little icons, giggling like school children. Me, and this Indian woman with the black guy in Oklahoma who she's not sure what's going to happen, because she wants to see other people, who are Indian, but maybe not, and no, I do NOT have a girlfriend.
Un. Fucking.
Believable.
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.
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AArdvark
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- Location: Rochester, NY
I sense baggage! I sense a fucking skycap with a luggage trolley..No.. One of those luggage TRAINS that they pull around under airplanes that trained gorillas throw suitcases into. FULL OF BAGGAGE!
So, you hook up with her..Then go and meet mom and dad..(are we talking native American indian here or the 7-11 taxi driving kind?)
either you will get scalped (probably no big deal in your case)
OR they will sic some multi-armed diety on you.
Beware of someone who has a 'sometime' boyfriend. This means that she is not worth keeping close. Or that she could be 'loose'. You know, one of those girls mom warned you about. (ref: Cheap Trick -'Surrender')
Either way find someone more deserving to share your blue light special. (ref: K-Mart)
THE
ANN GODDAM LANDERS
AARDVARK
So, you hook up with her..Then go and meet mom and dad..(are we talking native American indian here or the 7-11 taxi driving kind?)
either you will get scalped (probably no big deal in your case)
OR they will sic some multi-armed diety on you.
Beware of someone who has a 'sometime' boyfriend. This means that she is not worth keeping close. Or that she could be 'loose'. You know, one of those girls mom warned you about. (ref: Cheap Trick -'Surrender')
Either way find someone more deserving to share your blue light special. (ref: K-Mart)
THE
ANN GODDAM LANDERS
AARDVARK
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pinback
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AArdvark
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pinback
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Okay, sounds good.AArdvark wrote:bail out now! Make nice bullshit talk while picking your nose or scratching where the sun refuses to shine (ref: Animals)
Ohhh....kaaaay. But am I really at a point in my life where I want women I'm attracted to to lose interest in me?She will lose whatever intrest she *might have in you.
No, unfortunately, this one actually exists.She IS real, right? none of this 'imaginary lover' syndrome right?
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.
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pinback
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chris
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Amy Friday was a JC caller back in the old days, and was the girlfriend of Jethro Q. Walrustitty for a while. Let's just say that she had some issues that your current situation reminds us of.
Oh, and don't mention this relationship to JQW....I brought up her name in a casual conversation over at Groucho, and it was this "mistake" that precipitated my being asked to leave his board. He doesn't like being reminded of it, especially when you mention the pet names they had for each other.
Oh, and don't mention this relationship to JQW....I brought up her name in a casual conversation over at Groucho, and it was this "mistake" that precipitated my being asked to leave his board. He doesn't like being reminded of it, especially when you mention the pet names they had for each other.
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pinback
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chris
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