Jolt Country

The pitching really has been ridiculous. After Litsch got yelled at, he just poured it on, and then Burnett's fingernail grew back so he could throw his curve, and Marcum is just an excellent pitcher that we took in the second or third round of the draft who developed nicely.

I read that Shannon Stewart, Not That One, But the Other One, got his LF job back. I guess they are easing Lind into it, but man, six games is an awful short amount of time to pull the plug. Oh, he wasn't hitting? Christ, neither is anyone else. If you want to solve that, sign Bonds, don't throw Stewart out there regularly.

I say: Who the fuck needs a shortstop anyway? It's an overrated, useless position! Just like rover! And first baseman!

I did like how they announced to Eckstein that they are pulling him in the late innings on a regular basis now, and McDonald blows out his ankle THE NEXT GODDAMN GAME.

There is a reason some of these guys don't get regular PT, and I don't think it's because Johnny Mac hits about .143 better than I would.

I guess Inglett comes up tomorrow, and get ready for the Scutaro show at short for a few days.

Also - sign Bonds and put him at short.

Hey, at least we know how to mount a 9th inning comeback! I had to go to bed, though, but I assume the Jays rode that big crazy wave of momentum straight into the W column, right RobBerto Mallomar?

(Checks box score)

...

In the immortal words of Lou Pinella: [deep breath] FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Rios lead off the bottom of the 10th with a fucking triple, and those losers couldn't get him home. Unreal. Shannon Stewart was out there takin' pitches, workin' the count. How I hate him.

The Jays traded for Kevin Mench and signed Brad Wilkerson today. Kevin Mench wears something like a size 16 cap, so I guess they are planning on leaving the Skydome open while he is on the team. Wilkerson was good a few years ago, so I am sure he is the answer. Actually, fuck it, the team is HISTORICALLY BAD with runners in scoring position, so it honestly doesn't matter if they go 1-4 each game, as long as they drive in a run when they do hit.

What a mess. World class pitching being ruined by AA hitting.

Holy shit. The latest podcast that Bill Simmons did is with Joe Sheehan, a Yankees fan who writes writes dumb shit about the Jays for Baseball Prospectus. The two of them talk about parity in MLB, and from what I understand, they prefer the MLB model over the NFL. There's no way I am subjecting myself to that horseshit, but that's pretty goddamn funny in theory. Two guys following teams that have made the playoffs more than anyone else in the last decade because of their payrolls agreeing with each other for an hour: "Yup, it's fine." "What's the issue?!?!" "It's OK!" "I'm offended anyone even brings it up!" "Rod Barajas is getting all of Frank Thomas's at-bats!" "Who is Rod Barajas?"

This just in:

Rolen and Wells reach base the second time they face Sabathia.

Kevin Mench, the "lefty killing" DH we just brought in, hits into a double fucking play. Rolen to third.

Overbay then swung on the first pitch, flying out.

I can. not. believe. how. fucking poor this worthless team is with runners in scoring position. How the fuck is this even possible? I hope we trade Burnett for a bat. He's leaving at the end of the season anyway, let's rent a hitter. This was a joke three weeks ago.

Rod Barajas led off with a double. It is going to be very difficult to NOT send him home. Let's see what happens (post made in real-time).

Wilkerson bunts Barajas over to third. One out.

Scutaro gets a base hit. Barajas scores. Well, I guess this is what I need to do, just blog their horrible hitting.

Scutaro on third. Two out. Rolen up. No FUCKING way are they going to drive him home. I don't care if CC's ERA is above seven.

Some fan just yelled at Scott Rolen, "You're not in St. Louis any more!!!" What the fuck does that even mean? That's stupid. Good work, Cleveland fan.

Grounded to short. Jesus Christ.

This thread has made me start actively rooting against the Blue Jays.

(They're just the "Jays" now, by the way. I know it's gonna be a tough habit to break, but please make an effort.)

I am actively rooting against them as well, so I hope we can try out new insults here.

They lost 12-0 tonight, and one of our best players is lost for 8 weeks with a broken wrist. Sooooooooo, I'm out and done bitching about the team. See you in 2009!

I'd also like to take this opportunity to point to the failure of the mindset that encourages teams to try for walks, AS WELL AS laughing at RBIs as a worthless stat. What a bunch of stupid horseshit, when taken to this extreme. This entire, horrible offense is great at working the count, but can't get anyone home. What a terrible bunch of hitters.

Can we use this thread for the next week or so to chart the downfall of the Lakers who are gonna lose to Utah after being up 2 games to 0?

Just for fun! Then we can go back to saying how bad the Blue Jays are. (*)




(*) Which apparently is a lot, according to everything I've read in this thread.

Sure. We'll make this the Lakers thread until the end of the series. I'll edit the first post.

So far, the Lakers did very well in games #1 and #2, and then lost in games #3, and #4. I did not watch any of these games. I keep track of the Lakers only through the medium of Sports Talk Radio.

I do this for two reasons, which are 1) Sports Talk Radio, as awful as it is, is the best thing available anymore in the medium of radio. God. And 2) I live in LA, and we have nothing else to talk about, sportswise, except which NFL teams will not be relocating to LA in the future (all of them).

So this best of 7 series has turned into a best of 3! I will update you on the series' progress as KLAC AM 570 reports the results.

I wasn't going to write about the Jays until the Jazz-Lakers series was over (man, jazz music and lakes, that's Utah and SoCal for ya) but the Blue Jays, the 2008 Toronto Blue Jays, are displaying offensive futility which is downright HISTORICAL. In today's double-header against the Indians, they failed to score through 9 in each game. In the fifth inning of the second game, they were victim to an UNASSISTED TRIPLE PLAY. There have now only been FOURTEEN of them in the HISTORY of baseball.

Man, fuck this fucking team. Zero runs through 9 innings and the game is still going on because the Jays couldn't score themselves. What a joke.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to talk about Cliff Lee, pitcher for the Cleveland Indians. He is playing some of the most amazing baseball in the world right now. He is absolutely the best pitcher on the planet, but taken as a whole, he is unreal. And it came out of NOWHERE. He was an extremely shitty pitcher last year, and not that great the year before. I had him in my text baseball league and cut him because of how shitty he was playing. Now he's the best pitcher in the world. Completely came out of nowhere. I don't get it.

Here is a mail I found trying to pawn Cliff Lee for a last round pick in my text baseball league, to Christopher Tate. Chris was going to the playoffs, so I was wondering if he wanted a spot starter to get his rotation in order.

You don't have any interest in Cliff Lee, do you? I am going to cut
him in two seconds and since he might get waivered-up by someone, I
would offer him to you in a trade for a impossibly low pick, like,
second to last round. (I'd offer him to you for the last round pick
except you will be ahead of me that round!)

Just wanted to check, and no prob if he doesn't interest you. His 07
real life season was epicly terrible.

Lakers - Jazz, game 5, tomorrow night from STAPLES CENTER!

Are ya READY!?!?

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