The Magnolia Files

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:22 pm

pinback wrote:I'm sorry you felt that way. Then again, you were chomping at the bit to hate the movie before you even popped it into your DVD, so you could look all "cool" and "hip" in front of your loser friends on here,

No, Ben. Though you confessed to just that for CA, that's not how I operate.

I went into it with an open mind. I don't watch movies and play computer games with the hopes of hating it. You either believe that or you don't -- I can't be responsible for what you do or do not believe and I won't be. But you're totally and completely wrong when you say that.

In fact, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if you LOVED the movie, and are just being contradictory as a desperate attempt to create some content flow on this otherwise dry, desolate, barren teenage wasteland.

Man, have you gone off the deep end. Now you're accusing me of loving it and lying about it on the BBS. Where do you get the nerve?

Who do you think you are?

I honestly can not see how any person could think that was the best movie ever made. I can see how someone would like it, but I can't imagine someone discounting its many problems so completely and saying it was the best movie of all time.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:31 pm

I think I only thought it was alright right after I saw it, but as days progressed and I thought about it more, I found myself liking it more and more. I don't expect that to happen to you, of course, but it's like hey, no worries. I've got plenty of people to talk to about the movie out in the real world, not that I'm saying that I want to talk about the movie on here. Because I don't. I think I need to go see it again.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:40 pm

If you're going to bring the real world into this, I think we're all in trouble.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:53 pm

Point taken. Actually, right now I'm returning my cable modem, so for the next couple weeks, my only internet access will be when I visit my parents' house. I'm sure I'll post from there from time to time, but just thought I'd give you guys the heads up.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:54 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I honestly can not see how any person could think that was the best movie ever made.

Well, somehow you'll have to learn to deal with this reality.

someone discounting its many problems

So far, everything you've called a "problem", I chalk up to either your misinterpretation, or just your poor taste. I can't remember a more flawless movie.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:58 pm

pinback wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
pinback wrote:I see JQW is back to talking about things about which he has absolutely no idea. Welcome back, buddy! Maybe keep it to a single post, next time?
Quit being such a git. What the hell's wrong with you?
Oh, gee, I don't know, Sysop, maybe I have a little problem when a dude comes onto my movie base and starts telling me I don't know shit about movies because one time in 1997 when I was in Florida bored out of my mind, I saw a couple of movies way too mainstream and uncool for said dude, and now every time I try to state an opinion on a movie, he just keeps barfing up the same tired old ridiculous crap, "Oh yeah, well, you liked ALIEN RESURRECTION!! Yeah? Well, you liked ALIEN RESURRECTION!! I am totally lame, but YOU liked ALIEN RESURRECTION!"

At least get some new material.

Holy shit are you begging for it. Mr "JONSEY LIKES MALLRATS! JONSEY LIKES MALLRATS! JONSEY LIKES MALLRATS!"

If you weren't such a fucking dingleberry, you'd see that I clearly stated that maybe you had seen some other stuff in there. But so far, the evidence is that you haven't. (Every movie on your movie review page is a mainstream, fairly big-budget studio production. As I said, like listening to nothing but Britney, Christina, NSync, and Justin.) Go ahead, re-read my message. You'll find little rancor and plenty of solid, quality takes. And maybe you'll realize that you

So, I am challenging you to show us some evidence that you are qualified to make your grand statements about this movie. Have you been watching some lesser-known movies? Been patronizing your local art theater? Ever spent a moment looking in the "foreign" section at the local movie rental hole? Hell, watched anything black-and-white in the past few months?

Especially if you're going to claim it's the greatest artistic achievement of any kind. Been visiting some art museums? Listening to classical or opera music? Seen any plays? Gone to an art auction?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:01 pm

The answer to every yes/no question in your post, JQW, is "yes", except for the ones about art museums/auctions, because I hate that shit.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:05 pm

pinback wrote:So far, everything you've called a "problem", I chalk up to either your misinterpretation, or just your poor taste. I can't remember a more flawless movie.

Really. The flagrant, "look at me," attention-whoring and altogether immature continual use of the steady cam was "flawless."

...

... Okay! Well played, Pinback.

Is there a single thing about the movie which you feel is even remotely sub-excellent? Anything at all? I think it's growing obvious that I am dealing with a zealot here. I'd like to know that I am not.

Bob Green · Post by **Bob Green** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:37 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:FUCK YOU, YOU ARROGANT FUCKING RUNNY HUMAN PUSTILE. FUCK YOU UNTIL THE END OF FUCKING TIME.

I demand an apology!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:52 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Really. The flagrant, "look at me," attention-whoring and altogether immature continual use of the steady cam was "flawless."

PTA does Scorcese better than Scorcese could ever dream about.

Is there a single thing about the movie which you feel is even remotely sub-excellent? Anything at all?

The scene with the parents sitting around in the green room before the show starts is not the strongest scene in the world.

Other than that, though, it's tough. I'm just re-living the movie from start to finish, trying to pick some other sub-excellent scene out. Donnie goes to the bar, nope. Game show, nope. Mackey interview, no way. Whatsername freaks out at the drug store, nope. Dude calls Pink Dot? Heh, that might be the funniest line I've ever heard: "You still want the bread, peanut butter and cigarettes?" LOL. Jim 'n' Claudia drinkin' coffee? No chance. Frogs? Get outta here.

Yeah, that's pretty much it, dude.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:54 pm

Oh, the whole deal with the Worm and the kid was not fleshed out as much as it could have been (and actually, was supposed to be, because the movie was actually supposed to be about 7 minutes longer than it ended up, and some of the deleted stuff deals with the Worm.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 2:20 pm

What else was in the deleted scenes? I did not watch them before bringing the disc back.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 2:46 pm

When Mackey launches into the parts of his notebook ("How to fake like you are nice and caring" / "Form a Tragedy"), they show clips of him actually acting out the techniques, weaving his dastardly web around some poor misguided girl.

Best left out.

And they didn't have a final version of the other Worm scene, they just showed 'em trying to film it and getting very frustrated, so I guess they shitcanned it.

The funniest one is Luis Guzman sitting in his game show chair psyching himself up for the game, waiting to be served his glass of milk... "Sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk..."

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 2:49 pm

pinback wrote:The funniest one is Luis Guzman sitting in his game show chair psyching himself up for the game, waiting to be served his glass of milk... "Sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk, sports 'n' milk..."

Guzman talking shit to the fat kid was hilarious.

I think this might be a movie that I enjoy more "having watched" than "actively watching."

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 8:19 am

You would not be the first person I've badgered into watching it that reacted that way, if so.

Although, I guess I must just be weird. It all hit me like a ton of preposterous, overly-long, self-indulgent bricks the very first time I saw it. And the second. And the third.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 8:54 am

pinback wrote:You would not be the first person I've badgered into watching it that reacted that way, if so.

Before I fell asleep for the second time last night, I did recall some of the better moments of the movie. I couldn't recall any of the moments that made me angry.

I should have watched the thing with a pad and pencil, I guess.

There were other bits that I didn't pick up on until you mentioned them. I had no idea that the Shoveler's character was trying to pick up the bartender. I mean, it was obvious he was gay, I just didn't know that the object of his affection was right there.

I didn't believe the coke girl's motives at all. I thought she was a hopeless clone of the one bitch who wouldn't shut up in "Pulp Fiction" (the one at the beginning and end of the movie). I didn't think she was actually looking for anything other than another blast of the white powder yum yum.

Although, I guess I must just be weird. It all hit me like a ton of preposterous, overly-long, self-indulgent bricks the very first time I saw it. And the second. And the third.

And you didn't buy it yet? What does it take for you to buy a DVD? Does the hole in the center of the disc need to fellate you?

I ended up returning it two days late. So I got hit with a finance charges that will be more than what the free coupon gave me. What's this "two day rental" shit? Who has time if you rent two or three movies? It's a good thing that I did buy Daredevil outright because, having still not popped the movie itself in, it would have cost me $22 in late fees if I rented it and watched it at my current pace.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 10:00 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:And you didn't buy it yet?

What in the hell are you talking about? I rushed out IMMEDIATELY the following day and purchased a copy. I then (if you'd read the other thread) purchased two more copies for friends. And as I ALSO said in the other thread, MY copy is currently on loan to Saeid Zoonematkermani, who has yet to return it.

So I ask you again, what in the holy hell are you talking about?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 10:01 am

Actually, it's not even another thread, it's THIS thread that I said all that in. Pay attention to your goddamn BBS, Jonsey.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 11:04 am

pinback wrote:What in the hell are you talking about? I rushed out IMMEDIATELY the following day and purchased a copy. I then (if you'd read the other thread) purchased two more copies for friends. And as I ALSO said in the other thread, MY copy is currently on loan to Saeid Zoonematkermani, who has yet to return it.

So I ask you again, what in the holy hell are you talking about?

You said that you wanted me to send you MY copy at some point, before I said that I only rented it. That leads me to believe that you didn't have your own. I didn't realize that you're frigging Holden Caulfield regarding this flick and attempting to save all copies of "Magnolia" before they fall off a fucking cliff.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:03 pm

You know what happens when you "assume". You make an "ass" out of "you" because you're "stupid".

No, I only asked for your copy because, hey, I can always use another copy. Particularly since I don't think Saeid Zoonematkermani is ever planning on returning mine.

NOTE TO SELF AND OTHERS: Never trust anyone named Saeid Zoonematkermani to return your shit.