Jolt Country

2?

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Whoops, sorry Bruce!

Me too. Your mom gave me crabs :-(

Bruce

Please overanalyze this with me (regarding todays canoeing trip with Jazzy and three other people). I sent this to Clash earlier:

=================

I dunno, man.

Sometimes, it's like it's on. Then other times? TOTALLY off. I can't believe it, but it might actually be off. So hard to tell with this one.

ON: Invites me canoeing. We have fun. We shop at the store for lunch, and the other three go off to another part of the store, while she kinda follows me around. Good times. We share the canoe.

OFF: Absolutely refuses to accept that I'll pay for lunch, even when I say "You'll get it next time". She says, "I don't like to owe anything." And then on the drive home (I don't like to overanalyze things, but check it) our cars are approaching a stoplight together, me on the right, her on the left. I roll up to the line. She STOPS like a carlength back. I know that move because I've done it myself. I look back and smile at her. She gives a little wave, but no smile.

Plus, I wasn't exactly at the top of my game.

So, I dunno. How can this be off? It doesn't seem possible. And yet, here we are.

===========================

So, it's off, right? How can this be off? Didn't she realize I already put this at 60%?

Being nice and following you around are signs that it is on. Not wanting to be treated is a neutral sign, because lots of people are weird about money for lots of reason. The car thing is just weird, and could indicate many things. For example, I don't stop at the line, because my truck has been stalling out due to an idle problem and I like having the space to gas it a little forward and prevent the stall. I see lots of people not stopping at the line, and none of them are driving next to people they know. If someone isn't into you, there's other ways of indicating that than with vague car mindgames. She is getting to know you, like normal women who don't need male attention constantly do, these things take time, she does not want to overcommit herself and give mixed signals and that's why some of her boundaries may seem a bit arbitrary, is my guess.

So wait, is it on??? Or is it off??

The wildcard in all this is that she appears to be, as I think I've stated before, a nervous, shy, socially anxious type. So you (or rather I, as a fellow sufferer of and empathizer for such maladies) can never be sure if she's setting boundaries, or if she's just spazzing out.

Still, a smile would have been nice. That's the thing. You can't tell if she's nervous or just hates you.

An odd bird, this one. But I'll crack 'er.

An odd bird, this one. But I'll crack 'er.

It's an attitude like that that will lead to sure bachelorhood for the rest of your life. Be nice and let her make the next move. As long as it dosen't take years and years



THE
SHAVING CREAM
BE NICE AND CLEAN
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote:It's an attitude like that that will lead to sure bachelorhood for the rest of your life.

What? That I'll crack 'er? Well, I didn't mean anything by it. Just that I'm gonna crack 'er.

Be nice

Baby, I'm always nice. I'm nicer than Bizarro Hitler. I ooze nice.

and let her make the next move.

Can't I ask her out? Can I ask her out?

When can I ask her out?

Can I say, "Hey, what you got going on tonight?" some time next week, and she says, "Eh, nothin'", and I say "You wanna do somethin'?"

Can I say that?

pinback wrote:Still, a smile would have been nice. That's the thing. You can't tell if she's nervous or just hates you.

Two possibilities:

1) She was tired after a long day....I can be happy as a clam, but if I'm tired, I don't smile.

2) She's "had her fill" of Pinback for the day. This is not a bad thing, don't interpret it as such. She spent the day with you, now she needs time to digest the events of the day and figure out where to go from here. Give her some space.

If it were me, and I was looking to crack'er, I'd probably contact her on Monday to let her know that I had a good time. This lets her know that I'm interested in continuing things. I'd then wait until maybe Wednesday or Thursday and find out if she has any plans for the weekend, and see if we could find something to do together. Not something that has connotations of being a date, but something a little different that lasts for a few hours. Like going to a big flea market or a farmer's market or something....where it's more of a hang-out-together thing.

That's good stuff.

It's just, when do you know when it's time to RATCHET IT UP a notch? This is what I'm bad at. Well, this, and everything even remotely related to this.

Since you're not even sure whether or not you like her in that way yet, why don't you stop making the foot-shooting mistake of obsessing over her feelings for you, and think for a minute or so about yours for her? Ratchet it up a notch when you feel it's right, then she'll either yea or nay.

I dunno, I'm thinkin' she's kinda the money. Imagine how insanely musically talented our kids (which I will never have) will be!

In that case, I'd follow Chris's advice. Let you know by attention and wanting to spend time together with her that you're interested, but don't make any physical moves. At the point where you're emotionally committed enough that you need some kind of answer, then let her know in word form and by taking her hand and looking into her eyes, that you have feelings for her. Ardent and manly, yet not threatening or pussily hinting around at shit for 6 months while she laps it up and eats free dinners. Unless she starts putting out overt kiss-me signals (signs of this are meandering through a doily-encrusted rose garden and wanting to hold your hand, dancing to some good blues, wavering at the doorway after a get-together, etc.) at which point, you should do this.

So, wait...

Is it on???

No. But it's not off.

pinback wrote:So, wait...

Is it on???

BABY IT'S ON!!!

Don't listen to anyone else in this thread. Do you work with this one? You work with this one, right? You buy her a hundred bottles of this:



And fill her cubicle with it. Then you will her cube with something else and let her figure it out.

MONEY, BABY. I know it's now cliche to say that your loveless pal is money but you really are, pally.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: BABY IT'S ON!!!

WTF is this? Hyenas and Vitamin B, in the same day? The drought is over....ICJ is once again BRINGING IN TEH FUNNEY!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:BABY IT'S ON!!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!BABY IT'S ON!!!

You work with this one, right?

No.

pinback wrote:It's just, when do you know when it's time to RATCHET IT UP a notch? This is what I'm bad at. Well, this, and everything even remotely related to this.

Patience young grasshopper. A successful fisherman doesn't pull the line when he thinks he has a nibble...he pulls it when he knows he has a bite.

Just pal around, hang out, do some stuff together, and just treat her like a regular friend instead of a potential object of affection. If things develop and the time comes to take this up a notch, you'll know.

Yeah, keep it in yer pants....






THE
PATIENCE
IS GOOD
AARDVARK

I've been waitin' 34 years, baby. "My patience is at an end." - the guy on the phone in Fargo.