Jolt Country

I just heard a story - just this weekend - about a three-fingered Santa that parents could hire to make an appearance at their house around Christmastime.

My question is: did anyone else ever live in a world where their parents hired Santa to come by? My folks would not consider such a thing. Although my mom still leaves presents under the tree, and waits until my brother and I go to be before putting them out. (However, I haven't been back for Christmas in a while, so it's possible this would no longer happen if I were to fly back.)

Hiring a Santa? Uh, no. I remember seeing the mall Santa a few times, and that wasn't even at the good mall.

My son is still into the whole Santa thing, and he's going to turn 9 this December. Don't you have to break it to them at some point? I kind of suspect he already knows but won't tell me. This is the same kid I caught looking up sex videos on YouTube on his iPod Touch -- surely he realizes some fat ass from the North Pole doesn't really come down our chimney every year. Mason's getting ready to start third grade. Don't most third graders clue each other into this sort of thing?

A kindergarten classmate told me about the whole Santa thing. When I came home and asked my mom she said, "I don't know if he's real or not, but if you don't believe in him, he won't come." Hey, I can read between the lines. I pretended like I believed in Santa until about sixth grade. Don't believe, no presents -- hey, I can do the math.