Jolt Country

gooder ahhh shahahahahaha off season shahahaha chihuahuahua I FEED!!!

The Broncos are the luckiest, JAMMIEST fucking team in pro sports. They shouldn't have won more than four games the last two years. What a crock of shit.

The 49ers have a Visa logo or some shit on their practice jerseys and --

"Everyone knows that winning begins on the practice field," chief operating officer Andy Dolich said in a statement. "Having a Visa partner with us on the jersey is a strong message of teamwork."

Do COOs say that without irony? Are they in on the joke? I don't think they are. What human could say that?

Some other thoughts!

- I thought Monday Night Football was excellent last week.

One of the things I believed Tony Kornheiser would bring to the announcing crew is a "fuck it" attitude. He didn't seem to be the kind of guy they could control in there. There were stories, after he was hired, that informed us that he'd "have difficulty staying awake" since the games were so late, and that he was waffling on his decision. He ended up being the biggest cocksucker for corporate interests I've ever heard in my life. I liked Tony! I thought he had a great radio show. But he's by far the second-worst thing that's ever happened to football, much less Monday Night Football.

So Jon Gruden was a godsend.

They'll ruin him, of course. They will yap at him through his earpiece. The most unqualified people to run MNF are running MNF. They will put guests there to detract from the game. They will say the word "Favre" a hundred times when he's not playing. They'll ruin what was the simple pleasure of catching a game after the worst day of the week. If we're lucky it will take them a couple months to destroy Jon Gruden.

Poor Gruden. :(

(The worst thing to happen to pro football was the John Mellencamp truck commercials that were played every single break for two years.)

(Oh, the worst commercial going right now is the "blooper" thing for Subway. I'm not watching your gay-as-hell fake construction worker musical thing, assholes. What a debacle. The only thing that got me to change the channel today was that thing coming on.)

The second bit is just about a Sears commercial with Brett Favre that was just shown. I can't believe anyone thinks people want to buy shit that asshole is pitching. That being said, the ad Sears had actually makes fun of the fact that he's a piece of crap that can't make a decision. We're laughing at you not with you, Brett!

(Sorry to post about commercials. I never get to see them except for football season, and it amazes me that so many are so bad in this country, and that people who work in advertising are so smug about it.)

Bills v. Saints next weekend, RobBerto!

North Coast v. South Coast! Southern Douchebaggery v. WNY Awesomeness! Catch the Excitement!

If you can catch a cheap flight to RDU, you're welcome to crash at our place and watch your dreams disintegrate live on DirecTV!

I appreciate that! It is kind of you to offer. It looks like I am going to the Pats/Saints game in New Orleans after Thanksgiving, but otherwise, yeah, I'd have flown home for Bills/Saints.

RDU =/= "home." Chump.

Hahah, whoops! I forgot for a sec that you left and are successful. HA HA SICK BURN WESTERN NEW YORK

Wow, Saints six and oh. When's the last time they came out so strong?

Well, they are just 5-0 since they had their bye already. The last time they started out 5-0 was 1993! They finished ... 8-8. So I'm not jumping up and down just yet.

Wow, Saints six and oh. When's the last time they came out so strong?


Superbowl!

jonessy is JUMPING UP AN DOWN!!!

Yesterday was a satisfying victory against those Miami BEETECHES, yes.

We were at the Bills/Panthers game in Charlotte yesterday. It was a fantastic fucking time. The crowd was at least 1/3 Bills fans. In the shadow of NASCAR headquarters, we GOT ER DONE.

Well, tonight, I gotta say, Geaux, les Sainteauxs!

Seriously, fuck Atlanta and every team they field in every sport ever.

It was a bit of a barn burner! Let's talk about SI Senior Columnist Peter King:

Peter King posted:
b. Are you kidding, FOX? The moment the game of the year ends and Brett Favre is hugging his way across the field, we hear Thom Brennaman say: "We send you to bonus coverage.''

You do what? You send us to Carolina 34, Arizona 21? For God's sake -- FOR WHAT?!!!!!! What you should be sending us to is Pam Oliver for a live interview with Favre instead of making people wait.

I read this a few hours ago and assumed it was parody. Peter King, who is famous for sucking the goddamn cock - almost literally sucking the schlong - of Brett Favre was outraged that they switched to football.

I'm just fucking amazed that people like Peter King exist. Holy fucking Christ. His editor must hate his guts to let shit like that get written and posted.

Charles Ali is a backup fullback for the Browns. Who is also on Twitter.

Ali650: Jus feel asleep n a meeting they kicked me out lol , I gotta be better naw f that iam human its jus football lol or is it
about 4 hours ago from twidroid

Ali650: Ok they fined me 300 for falling asleep n meetings lol is dat it ! Same time 2morrow then ha ha ha
about 3 hours ago from twidroid

Those MOTHER. FUCKERS.

GM has started running ads with that fucking "Our Country" song in the background. Motherfuckers! I can't believe our fucking tax dollars went to bail those pieces of shit out, when they went right on and HERP DERP re-ran their ad campaign that has actually made America a worse place to live.

Fuckers. FUCKERS!

It's so pathetic, too. They kind of know everyone hates the song, so it's not the focal point of the ad like it was the last two years. But that shitty jingle is there in the background, with Mellencamp giving us the money shot line once.

The song is like three years old. How much longer are they going to pull this shit? Five years? Ten? EVERYONE HATES YOU, GENERAL MOTORS.

Anyway, yeah, I was at the game for the Saints/Pats matchup. One of the 10 most amazing experiences of my life. I will try to write a proper blog post about it, but Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST.