Jolt Country

Just saw it tonight, thought it was pretty damn good.

Also, another reason for the timing now is that people who watched the original transformers as kids now have kids of their own, so it's a whole new market for the toys, with the parents getting all reminiscent for the shit they had when they were young. And note that Hasbro was featured prominently in the opening credits.

Just for shits and giggles, I bought the new Jazz transformer from Target the other day. Weren't the original transformer toys made of, like, metal and, like, somewhat durable? This thing is all plastic and cheap-feeling.

Only three months until the new transformers film! 6-26-09. 3 stars in advance!

I don't remember that guy from the original TV series.

Here's my review of the first Transformers movie: "I don't know what the fuck just happened but they sure blew a lot of shit up doing it!"

I suspect my review of the second one may be similar.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I don't remember that guy from the original TV series.

I would sooner believe it was a promo shot for the upcoming Sinistar film.

A Sinistar film would be great. Especially since whoever did the marketing campaign would totally fuck it up. You're making a Sinistar movie: d'ya know what you do? You make a thirty second trailer with 25 seconds of shit and the last thing you see is FUCKING SINISTAR (possibly munching on a spaceship).

Then you have the voiceover guy say...

"On June 22nd, 2012.... RUN, RUN, RUN!"

They would utterly fail to do this, much how most Mortal Kombat video game ads do not end with an encouragement for you to "get over here." :(

This one is going to fucking rock, I can feel it.

I can't believe you people said the first one was good. I haven't seen it, but I am assured it sucks. Jesus Christ.

Noticed a lack of commentary about the second one. I guess we can assume it's terrible too.

I have never seen a Transformers movie, aside from the cartoon one, and I never will. It makes me better than all of you.

All I'm gonna say is that, for alien beings, they act surprisingly human.

The cartoon movie honestly had a deeper plot than either of the first two movies. I haven't seen the third yet, but I'm guessing it's not monumentally deep.

The drive-in theater a mile from my home is playing Transformers 3 and Green Lantern this weekend.

This would have blown my mind when I was a kid. Armed with this knowledge of Buck Rogers time: 2011, I would have gurgled with pleasure that:

Drive-in theaters still exist!
I have a home!
They made THREE animated Transformers movie sequels??
They made a Green Lantern movie? Whaa-aaa-aaa?
I presumably found a job where I get weekends off?

And it's the movies that let everyone down. Man, I can't believe that Green Lantern sucks balls. How did they fuck that up? (I would like to note that I dressed as Rorschach and Sinestro for Halloween parties two years in a row a couple years ago, and both of them ended up in blockbuster films. One is seemingly gonna be received better than the other, but there ya go.)

The Transformer movies can suck some blue balls, but I may find myself catching Green Lantern anyway. I am not going to consider it an awful movie just because it's got a Green Lantern with a fish-head, because it has Kilowog, and because yellow is a weakness. Those are things I expect from a Green Lantern movie.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The Transformer movies can suck some blue balls,

My wife and I just loved the new one as presented in glorious IMAX 3d (real IMAX on the 80ft screen not the garbage they're putting up in malls). The story was grand enough and with spock voicing the ultimate bad guy it was a lot of fun. This one more than made up for the second one and I still rewatch the first one so you can suck it.

CO wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The Transformer movies can suck some blue balls,

My wife and I just loved the new one as presented in glorious IMAX 3d (real IMAX on the 80ft screen not the garbage they're putting up in malls). The story was grand enough and with spock voicing the ultimate bad guy it was a lot of fun. This one more than made up for the second one and I still rewatch the first one so you can suck it.

I heard there's no Transformer for the first 40 minutes of the first one. Do you fast forward through that part or do you go into a sort of temporary suicide?

I do love that you'll all concede about #2 but you all hold out that the first is somehow watchable.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I heard there's no Transformer for the first 40 minutes of the first one. Do you fast forward through that part or do you go into a sort of temporary suicide?.

You've still never seen this movie?

In this 40 minutes is a decpticon kicking us army ass in a base in qatar, complete with a C130 bringing the rain on a robo scorpion plus a funny outsourcing joke that I enjoyed. There's a funny scene with bumblebee and the late great bernie mac and a whole bunch of cheesy bumblebee and human geek relationship shit. Have you ever gone back and rewatched the original episodes of Transformers? Most of the second episode is practically all bumblebee and that gay human kid.

The scene where the rest of the autobots finally arrive is probably 40 minutes in but is actually pretty cool, what with the buildup and majestic music, people in the theater the fourth day open still cheered when optimus prime took his truck shape. The rest of the movie is good enough, the fight scenes were pretty cool and they got enough right like the starscream/megatron jealousy thing.

My wife loves the score and enjoys the tranformations and fight scenes, which is surprising for an artsy chick who hates star trek and scifi shit. We've rewatched it in hd at home dozens of times probably.

So watch the dam thing already before you keep bashing at it stupidly.

These movies suck. I'm so sorry.

No matter how much we try to defend them, they're still about robots that turn into cars and shit. If this being on the big screen isn't the clearest sign, ever, that America is over, I'm not sure what else can be done.

Look at me. I'm a 45 year-old man making movies about giant robots that turn into trucks.

Did you know that, out there, there are people who actually consider Armageddon their favorite movie of all time?

God help us all.

So what if Michael Bay could give a shit about anything but tight dresses and explosions. Who cares?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:A Sinistar film would be great. Especially since whoever did the marketing campaign would totally fuck it up. You're making a Sinistar movie: d'ya know what you do? You make a thirty second trailer with 25 seconds of shit and the last thing you see is FUCKING SINISTAR (possibly munching on a spaceship).

Then you have the voiceover guy say...

"On June 22nd, 2012.... RUN, RUN, RUN!"

They would utterly fail to do this, much how most Mortal Kombat video game ads do not end with an encouragement for you to "get over here." :(

Speaking of "Get Over Here" (first used at about 1:01 in the following video):

[youtube][/youtube]

Wow, the third one looks fantastic. What a great franchise, I guess I really will see the first one:

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-b ... formers-3/

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Wow, the third one looks fantastic

I'm sure I never said fantastic, nor has anyone else ever said that about any of the transformer movies. Most movies aren't fantastic.

I know, but I am going to forever twist what you did say into some sort of misquoted monstrosity that drives a wedge between myself and decent people.

Regardless, that's an excellent episode of HAFF INNA BAG.

I would now like Pinback, Vark and Flack's take on that episode of HAFF FINNNA BAGG