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TigerCast 2004
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:41 pm

Post by TigerCast 2004 »

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah, like I was saying, he's playing like crap since he decided to get married.
This statement, and those like it, are naturally idiotic, so I'll not even bother responding to such ill-advised nonsense. Let's instead get onto the business of:

Mercedes Championships: Fourth Round

Tiger never quite got it going today, as Stuart Appleby and Vijay Singh pulled away to a slightly interesting finish which ended as it should, with Appleby taking home the crown, and Vijay Singh not taking home the crown. Oh, how he makes our skin crawl.

For Tiger fans, there's much to enjoy about this week:

1. Other than Vijay, he finished higher than all of his major competitors.

2. His tie for fourth earned him enough money to go over the $40,000,000 mark for his career -- well ahead of anybody else, ever. To quote the man himself, "Gotta love that inflation!"

3. The man shot four straight rounds making mistakes you'd never expect from him, never quite putting things together the way you'd think he would... and he finished fourth?!?! This has to strike fear into his opponents... well, the same fear that's always struck into them. When he fucks up, he finishes fourth. If he's ever on his game, he'll wind up ten clear of the pack. Here at TigerCast 2004, we're expecting 2004 to be the most historic TigerCast since TigerCast 2003. Plus a major or two. Stay tuned.

By the way, they showed Stuart Appleby's new, replacement wife at the end of the tournament today, and: YOW! We here at TigerCast 2004 now wish we had grown up to be professional golfers!!!

TigerCast 2004
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:41 pm

Post by TigerCast 2004 »

Welcome back to TigerCast 2004! We've been away for a month while Tiger enjoyed a well-earned vacation, but now that he's back, we're back!

This weekend's tournament takes place at Torrey Pines, a set of two public courses in La Jolla, CA, which TigerCast 2004 is proud to say he has actually played! He did not do particularly well, but the $120 greens fees were picked up by his mother, which was a nice touch!

Anyway, Tiger has muddled his way to -5 after two rounds, six back of the leader, Stewart Cink, but who cares about that, because:

VIJAY SINGH MISSED THE CUT!!!! And we here at TigerCast 2004 could not be more thrilled! The supposed "challenger to the throne" and general all-around asshole got his smug little butt handed right back to him by good ol' 'Pines! Way to go, Vijay! We hate you, and we are glad you sucked the big pipe this weekend! May this be the first of many more, you pompous, obnoxious, cheating, sexist, moronic, unctuous piece of crap! HA HAHAhHahhha.

Stay tuned for more...

TigerCast 2004!

TigerCast 2004
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:41 pm

Post by TigerCast 2004 »

Well, the Buick Invitational is over, and what a tournament it was! Crowd favorite and generally goofy and large John Daly hung on by a thread to win his first PGA tournament in 9 years, in a three-way playoff! We here at TigerCast 2004 would like to congratulate big J. D. on his return to victory circle! And on his enormous penis, according to the book "Who's Your Caddy?", by Rick Reilly!

As for defending champion and godlike-figure Tiger Woods, homeboy finished up with an up-and-down 69 to tie for tenth. While the boxscore might cause Tiger fans to get a bit unnerved, one must realize that if he had been able to drive the ball in the fairway, he would have won by about 40 shots. Just couldn't put it in the short stuff. Once he gets that little kink worked out, I can imagine a 2004 which leaves the rest of the "challengers" shaking in their boots much like in 2000.

Enjoy this brief respite while it lasts, Vijay -- oh, sorry buddy, we here at TigerCast 2004 forgot -- YOU WENT HOME after Friday!

God, do we here at TigerCast 2004 hate your guts, Veej.

guest poster

Post by guest poster »

How MUch did john daly weigh when he won...in pounds...lbs...

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