Jolt Country

Flack wrote: Wed Jun 22, 2022 7:23 am I just watched Episode 6 (the final episode) so if you haven't you might not want to read this yet.

The writing on this show is so hack that I don't even know where to begin. They included everything they had to (a final Obi-Wan vs. Vader showdown, Reva's redemption) and plenty of clichés to go with it. I don't understand why anyone in the galaxy is afraid of the Empire, who -- whether we're talking about individual stormtroopers or imperial star cruisers -- can't seem to hit the broad side of a barn with a laser blast. If I understood things correctly, Darth Vader locked down an entire planet with a Star Destroyer in orbit and a slow ass transport shuttle, with its hyperdrive broken, was able to fly past it and avoid getting shot by the same cruiser who was tailgating it for what seems like hours.

In episode five, Vader leaves Reva for dead but doesn't stick around long enough to make sure she's really dead. In episode six, Vader leaves Obi-Wan for dead but doesn't stick around long enough to make sure she's really dead. These dark lords are constantly walking around sensing the force and finding each other all over the galaxy. Why can't they sense if someone is alive or dead three feet away from them? Dumb.

The writers seem so intent on using certain lines that they don't stop to think whether or not they make sense. Darth Vader chased Obi-Wan across the galaxy, followed him to a planet, followed him when he jettisoned in an escape pod, followed him to another planet, tracked him down, and then said "have you come to destroy me, Obi-Wan?" Obi-Wan didn't come anywhere! You've been searching for him for a decade, you dark dummy!

Why are ten year olds, royalty or not, allowed to boss strangers around and talk back to Jedi? "But you said you would take me home!" whines Leia as the ship they are on is being pursued by the Empire and surrounded by laser blasts. Jesus. All that force-choking ability and yet people put up with brats in space. Amazing.

When I was ten years old I discovered my mother had bought a large pack of licorice that she was going to use to decorate a cake. I spent the entire day craving that bag of licorice. After everybody else went to sleep I snuck into the kitchen for a piece of licorice, then two. Pretty soon I had eaten the entire delicious bag. I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible tummy ache and ended up vomiting all the licorice into the toilet. That's what watching Obi-Wan Kenobi felt like.