[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women 2K5!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:18 am

Here's the big excuse for blowing me off, by the way:

"i fell asleep"

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:51 am

pinback wrote:Here's the big excuse for blowing me off, by the way:

"i fell asleep"

If you've never listened to anything else I've ever said, please listen to this:

The next time you two get together (and she'll probably try to set something up and go "hee hee!") PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE agree to it without reservation and then blow it off. PLEASE.

Obviously nothing will ever come of you two anyway because she's an attention-starved player of games but for the love of God, just once, demonstrate to a member of the opposite sex that your time is not to be trifled with before it spirals out of control.

And have you given any thought to the fact that you've tried to date the same girl five times in a row over 3,000 miles now?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:57 am

pinback wrote:Here's the big excuse for blowing me off, by the way:
"i fell asleep"

Never, never, never try to date a girl who has a long distance boyfriend. All you will ever be to her is someone to make up for whatever she is missing in the relationship she has. Women love attention, and with her 'guy' not around she carelessly fills her needs with the schmucks around her. If you try the "friend" approach, then you'll just get used for your listening skills and lots of free time. It's only the hunks who hit on her when she's drunk at a club that get to make up for the sex she's not getting from her boyfriend.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:16 am

My advice for you Pinner: Ask a girl out on a date. Not "out for drinks", and certainly not "with friends at my blue apartment". Hot chicks are so used to being treated like shit by the hot guys that they go out with that a nice guy with the balls and chivalry to ask them out on a real date (and say it's a date, and act like it's a date where you pay for everything and treat her to something nice and open her car door and shit like that) that the approach might work. At least she knows where you stand and you can move on to the next one when she declines.

But not this chick, all she'll ever do is use you.

Knuckles the Sandwich · Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:07 am

Hey pinback, don't feel bad just because you're the only 30 something guy who posts on this board that still hasn't found someone. I'm sure you're just a late bloomer.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:18 am

pinback wrote:Know what I am?

I'm a girl watcher... oh, I'm a girl watcherrrr....

Amazing....I love esoteric humor like this, but I don't recall ever seeing something so esoteric STILL be completely unfunny.

Oh wait a sec, he's quoting an SNL skit. *Now* I understand why it's so unfunny.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:24 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:And have you given any thought to the fact that you've tried to date the same girl five times in a row over 3,000 miles now?

I was tried to avoid this somewhat distasteful revelation, but it seems I can no longer repress this obvious truth.

Can we just COMPARE Michelle and "Lucy" at this point?

Michelle: Liked hanging around me and slipping in reminders of her "kind-of" boyfriend in jail.

"Lucy": Likes hanging around me and slipping in reminders of her "kind-of" boyfriend in Oklahoma.

SURVEY SAYS: DING!

Michelle: Agreed happily to meeting me for dinner at my place. Never showed up or called.

"Lucy": Agreed happily to meeting me for drinks at the local pub. Never showed up or called.

SURVEY SAYS: DING!

Michelle: Could have stood to drop ten pounds or so.

"Lucy": Can stand to drop fifteen pounds or so.

SURVEY SAYS: DING!

Michelle: FUCKING ATTENTION WHORE FROM HELL, sent to Earth by a vengeful God only to torture me.

"Lucy": Same diff.

SURVEY SAYS: DING!

We could go on for hours.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:26 am

chris wrote:
pinback wrote:Know what I am?

I'm a girl watcher... oh, I'm a girl watcherrrr....
Amazing....I love esoteric humor like this, but I don't recall ever seeing something so esoteric STILL be completely unfunny.

Oh wait a sec, he's quoting an SNL skit. *Now* I understand why it's so unfunny.

Didn't we just get finished saying that if you're going to bag on something or someone here, you actually have to try to make said bagging funny or interesting itself? Didn't we just get finished saying that?

I'm pretty sure we just got finished saying that.

I'm going to beg JQW to take you back, so you'll quit derailing the content train over here, and boring us all to death in the process.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:27 am

Knuckles the Sandwich wrote:Hey pinback, don't feel bad just because you're the only 30 something guy who posts on this board that still hasn't found someone. I'm sure you're just a late bloomer.

now is

knuckles the clown

vs

knuckles the sandwich

fight !

winner: knuckles the clown

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 11:28 am

pinback wrote:Didn't we just get finished saying that if you're going to bag on something or someone here, you actually have to try to make said bagging funny or interesting itself? Didn't we just get finished saying that?

I'm pretty sure we just got finished saying that.

What I heard was a request, not an order. But if I must obey, then obey I shall, MEIN FUEHRER.

I'm going to beg JQW to take you back, so you'll quit derailing the content train over here, and boring us all to death in the process.

What, and your lamenting about Lucy and waxing poetic about a cheeseburger *isn't* boring us to death? Jesus, reading your posts is like watching General Hospital, professional golf, *and* the paint on my new storm windows dry, all at the same time.

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 11:56 am

chris wrote:[stuff]

If I wasn't absolutely sure that me pitching in at this particular juncture would be the least of all things required for the beating of this dead horse, I'd write up a point-by-point rebuttal of your failed attempt at funniness. I swear, this is exactly what I'd do.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 11:58 am

Knuckles the Sandwich wrote:Hey pinback, don't feel bad just because you're the only 30 something guy who posts on this board that still hasn't found someone. I'm sure you're just a late bloomer.

On July 4th I will reveal the identity of Knuckles the Sandwich.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 2:01 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:On July 4th I will reveal the identity of Knuckles the Sandwich.

MY knuckles are covered in sperm just thinking about all the excitement of that revelation.

Bruce

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:37 pm

pinback wrote:Here's the big excuse for blowing me off, by the way:

"i fell asleep"

She fell asleep....at the gym next door. LYING WHORE!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:40 pm

She must have gone home, seen she had at least ninety seconds before she had to leave if she was going to be on time, and decided to take a little minute-and-a-half catnap, and BLAMMO, sleepytime.

Lying whore.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:41 pm

k. roo wrote:
chris wrote:[stuff]
If I wasn't absolutely sure that me pitching in at this particular juncture would be the least of all things required for the beating of this dead horse, I'd write up a point-by-point rebuttal of your failed attempt at funniness. I swear, this is exactly what I'd do.

Oh please spare me. Aside from ICJ (who has proven his comic ability by actually getting himself PUBLISHED), none of you have the right to sit in judgement of me. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Don Rickles, but neither are any of you guys. Drinking youself silly as you sit alone in your apartments on a Friday night and crafting meandering tomes of mindless drivel does not, I'm afraid to say, constitute high comedy.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:48 pm

Yes, well. Chris, I will tell you, it doesn't seem all that "awesome" to tell a guy how boring he is, on the ninth page of a thread that the "boring" guy started just a couple weeks previous, particularly when nothing else is going on.

I know we're locked in a battle of wills here, but, seriously. When you can nourish a thread to nine pages and still have it be the most active thread on the BBS, then maybe your attacks of "boringness" will hold a little more water.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:57 pm

chris wrote:Oh please spare me. Aside from ICJ (who has proven his comic ability by actually getting himself PUBLISHED)

Shit, I'm published.

Bruce

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:13 am

bruce wrote:Shit, I'm published.

Pinback, heed this man's advice. He's a freakin' chick magnet.

Thornton A J; Morley C J; Green S J; Cole T J; Walker K A; Bonnett J M Field trials of the Baby Check score card: mothers scoring their babies at home. Archives of disease in childhood (1991 Jan), 66(1), 106-10.

Thornton, A. J.; Gelehrter, T. D. Human hepatocytes express the gene for type 1 plasminogen activator-inhibitor (PAI-1) in vivo. Fibrinolysis (1995), 9(1), 9-15.

chris · Post by **chris** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:46 am

bruce wrote:
chris wrote:Oh please spare me. Aside from ICJ (who has proven his comic ability by actually getting himself PUBLISHED)
Shit, I'm published.

Bruce

Let me clarify.....published due to comedic content.