I'm Back in the Club

[Flack]

Yamaha Raider 1900.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! He's fawkin back, y'all!

You have inspired me to get my bike back on the road this year. We're going to be tearing it up once again.

I must know everything. How did this come to be?

[RealNC]

Isn't it a bit too early? You can ride these things only when you're really young, or when you're really old. When you're in-between, you aren't allowed to.

[AArdvark]

Schweeet!

[Flack]

I must know everything. How did this come to be?

A few years ago when I sold my R1, I took the cash from the sale and stuffed it in a Crown Royal bag in my office. When I sold my V*Star, I did the same. Sometimes when we go to the casino, I put our winnings in the bag. The other day while cleaning my office I ran across the bag (out of sight, out of mind), counted the money, and was surprised to find $8k in there.

In the spring of '14, an entire year before I enrolled in grad school, I made a token down payment on an Elio, the fantastic 3-wheeled car that promised 84 mpg, a price of less than $7k, and a 5-star crash rating. I had hoped the car would arrive (or at least start production) by the summer of '15 when I began school, but it didn't. I held out hope, but made a promise to myself at the same time -- if the Elio didn't come to market by the time I graduated, I was going to buy something else.

Long story short, Elios didn't arrive in 2014... or 2015, or 2016, or 2017. Not only has mass production not begun, but the company is financially in dire straits, and the lawsuits are starting to roll in. They're never going to produce those cars, and I graduate in two weeks. Running across that bag of cash reminded me of that promise I had made to myself.

So, now I am the proud owner of a Yamaha Raider 1900, Midnight edition. Other than a louder exhaust system and a 600-watt stereo, it's stock. It's a big v-twin engine, but doesn't vibrate like one. With the raked front end, fat rear tire, and forward pegs, it's "inspired" by the chopper look even though it rides and handles like a normal bike. To be honest I wasn't sure if it was going to be comfortable to ride and I already had my eye on a backup bike if this one didn't work out, but I took it out for a spin and really, really liked it (so much I rode it home last night).

In other news, I really hated the stock wheels and tires that came on my Ford Flex, so I put new rims on it this week as well. After the rims and the bike, there's $200 left in the Crown Royal bag -- enough for one more trip to the casino.

[Flack]

This weekend I plan on removing the stereo system the previous owner added. There's a small amp bolted on to the frame and a long cord that runs from down there up to a small pouch attached to the handlebars. The idea is that you would put your phone on shuffle or whatever, connect the cable, stick it in the pouch, and go ride. This... doesn't work for me. First of all, my phone is filled with some pretty embarrassing music. I don't want to pull up to a stoplight with "She-Bop" or "Ghostbusters" blaring from my speakers with no way to pause the music. I suppose I could make a playlist just for the bike, but that sounds like work.

I gave my last helmet away with the last bike I sold (they matched) so I bought a new one that has, among other things, Bluetooth built in. The controls are right on the outside of the helmet. I can listen to music from my phone, adjust the volume, skip tracks, make phone calls and even trigger Siri to give me GPS directions while riding. That pretty much eliminates any need for added on stereo speakers.

The engine is so wide that the other day I burned the shit out of my leg on it. I was wearing cargo shorts at the time so, totally my fault, but the engine sticks out far enough that there's not as much clearance between it and my legs as I was expecting. I also forgot how hot those air-cooled engines get, which is "pretty hot." Between the odds of me burning the inside of my thigh again and the heat coming up from the engine during stops, I think this is a pants-only bike.

I like the bike's current look without the rear seat, but Susan says she would go riding with me if I put it back on. I feel like this is a trap, seeing as how she wouldn't ride on the back of my last two bikes, both of which had a back seat. It looks like adding or removing it shouldn't take more than 15-20 minutes, so I may put it on and see if she really does want to go for a ride. And then go out on the motorcycle, boom.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Nice, nice. The seat on mine had been roughed up by the elements to the point where the leather or fake leather ... probably fake leather cover had started to peel off. It looks like shit. 2006 Honda seats go for $300-$400 so I didn't know what I was gonna do. I checked eBay thanks to your post and a guy was selling a whole but used one for $70. Score! It's coming in a week. I haven't put mine on the road yet but because literally all three streets that go south towards my work are under construction (nice organization there, city planner fucks) I am going to get on the bike and use alleys - that are not torn up - to get there for the rest of the summer. So I need a seat that looks nice.

Have you noticed that everyone always says what a nice motorcycle you have? Just once I want someone to say that mine looks like shit. And because Tdarcos is reading this, I need to specify that this is a joke and I mean in real life. Tdarcos, if you ever see mine in real life and say it looks like shit because you remembered I will never doubt your ability to understand humor again.

[Flack]

I used to think that I had immaculate taste in motorcycles -- that the ones I picked, somehow, were the best looking ones. I've heard that for years. "This is awesome! This looks great! I love it!"

I didn't realize what was going on until a friend of mine asked if he could sit on one of my bikes. As I rattled off horsepower and resale value, I watched him twisting the throttle and making motor sounds with his mouth. When they say "this is awesome," they mean "I wish I had learned how to ride a bike. When they say "this looks great," they mean "I wish my wife would let me have one." When they say "I love it," they mean "I wish it were mine."

And when they say it looks like shit it's usually because nobody has up-voted their latest cooking video.

[Flack]

Also, I wheeled the bike out to the driveway and had my wife take a picture of me sitting on it. I posted the picture on Facebook and the first comment was "I can't even look at that picture unless you're wearing a helmet." When exactly did everyone become such a puss?

[AArdvark]

And you were only posing for a photo? Gad! I guess it's nice to know they care but come ON. If they repealed the helmet law in NY I'd still wear one, if only to keep the bugs off my face.

It's probably all the motorcycle accidents you read about every year. I think it averages one a week in the Upstate area.

THE
PERCENTAGES
AARDVARK

[Flack]

Well, that's just it. It wasn't anyone who particularly cares about my well-being. It was one of those social justice warriors, just someone who felt empowered on social media to pipe in and tell you what to do from afar. Wear a helmet. Wear a seat belt. Eat your veggies. It's like I have 200 mothers (or mother-in-laws) commenting on every FB post.

The irony is, if the person had known me at all, they would have known that I always ride with a helmet. I don't even mind someone saying, "man, I hope you wear a helmet." It's when they take that smug, condescending tone and tell you what to do.

[Tdarcos]

Also, I wheeled the bike out to the driveway and had my wife take a picture of me sitting on it. I posted the picture on Facebook and the first comment was "I can't even look at that picture unless you're wearing a helmet." When exactly did everyone become such a puss?

When I was about 12 my mother decided I was old enough to have a bike. We lived on 15th St. in Long Beach, CA. We walked 4 blocks to the bus stop on Long Beach Blvd, and caught the #5 to the second hand store at about the 5500 block. We found a 10-speed for what was probably a reasonable price (knowing my mother to be a huge cheapscate), and I walked it out to the sidewalk.

I did not know how to ride a bicycle, and this one did not have training wheels. So, I got it home the old fashioned way. I got on it, and kept trying to pedal it, catching myself when I would fall, as my mother and I walked home about 45 blocks - call it four miles - and by the time I got home I wasn't walking the bike, I was riding it.

No pads. No helmet. And at that time I don't think you were required to wear a helmet on a motorcycle either. This was about 1973. So we can guess things got soft sometime after that.

[Casual Observer]

Heh, cheapscate.

What ancient browser are you using that doesn't catch this stuff? I can't even type your spelling without autocorrect changing it.

[pinback]

Also, I wheeled the bike out to the driveway and had my wife take a picture of me sitting on it. I posted the picture on Facebook and the first comment was "I can't even look at that picture unless you're wearing a helmet." When exactly did everyone become such a puss?

When I was about 12 my mother decided I was old enough to have a bike. We lived on 15th St. in Long Beach, CA. We walked 4 blocks to the bus stop on Long Beach Blvd, and caught the #5 to the second hand store at about the 5500 block. We found a 10-speed for what was probably a reasonable price (knowing my mother to be a huge cheapscate), and I walked it out to the sidewalk.

I did not know how to ride a bicycle, and this one did not have training wheels. So, I got it home the old fashioned way. I got on it, and kept trying to pedal it, catching myself when I would fall, as my mother and I walked home about 45 blocks - call it four miles - and by the time I got home I wasn't walking the bike, I was riding it.

No pads. No helmet. And at that time I don't think you were required to wear a helmet on a motorcycle either. This was about 1973. So we can guess things got soft sometime after that.

Riding on wheels is kind of a lifelong theme for you, isn't it?

[AArdvark]

Haaaaaa!

[AArdvark]

[pinback]

Heh, cheapscate.

What ancient browser are you using that doesn't catch this stuff? I can't even type your spelling without autocorrect changing it.

Also by Casual Observer:

[Casual Observer]

Heh, cheapscate.

What ancient browser are you using that doesn't catch this stuff? I can't even type your spelling without autocorrect changing it.

Also by Casual Observer:

Come on, that was at least a little funny (at least to myself)