X-Files: I Want To Believe

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 6:07 pm

I was not a huge fan of the original show, though I would watch it in bed occasionally if nothing else was on. I thought it was well done, but written and acted so dryly that it was impossible to get particularly excited about.

I was more a fan of the first movie, which added enough zest to the stories and to the characters that finally the whole X-Files thing seemed nearly ready to test the waters of that elusive "third dimension". So I came into this latest (and one would hope, last) movie with some degree of hopefulness.

X-Files: I Want To Believe might be the worst movie in history. I mean, if you take the word "X-Files" out of the title, then it's just a dull-as-dirt, completely uninteresting trod through a paint-by-numbers plot, though without any hint of intrigue or cleverness. But "X-Files" is right there in the name, and not only are all the X-Files characters back to being dull, monotone non-people, they're even worse, and what's worse than that is, they're on a case which as far as I can figure out doesn't even qualify to be an X-file!! There's kidnappings and severed limbs and child-molesting priests aplenty, but the last time I check these things were not supernatural and did not come from space.

There are no bees, no black ooze, no aliens, no nothing which even remotely resembles something that wouldn't be handled by regular old investigators on a mediocre hour-long weekly crime drama. In fact, that is just what this movie was, an overlong, below-average episode of CSI: Minnetonka or whatever stupid dumbass cop show is on now.

This all leaves the viewer asking one very salient, pointed, and important question which deserves an answer but will never get one:

What the fuck was the point?

I give this movie minus ten thousand stars and a big ol' disapproving glare.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 7:09 pm

Did it star Scully and Mulder?

Did the two of them "get together," narmean??!

Maxell · Post by **Maxell** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:23 am

That is the exact same review that everyone who saw it gave it. It was the worst movie ever. It didn't deserve to be a movie and it sure as hell should not have had an X anywhere in the title. 20 minutes into it I was 'shut that bitch up oh my God are they seriously just sitting there talking about their relationship and some angsty job-related shit' and then it got worse. Gillian Anderson looked awful. I could really go on and on about this.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:40 am

She looked awful?? She is one of those women that get better looking as she gets older. I refuse to believe she looked awful. I am going to rent this movie just to verify this.

I don't believe... (she looks terrible)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 2:54 pm

Hi guys! The X-Files had a 10th season and it started last night on some channel that I'll go ahead and call the Usenet Channel.

Like Pinback, in theory I should eat this shit up and I would watch it if I had to watch TV and it was there but I would never seek it out.

So there is a lot of stuff that I simply don't know. That said, it really appeared that S10E01 was dryly acted.

Did Mulder ever find his sister? There's no way that through 9 seasons and two movies that they didn't address that, right?

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:37 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:She looked awful?? She is one of those women that get better looking as she gets older.

You, uh... wanna stick by that?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:So there is a lot of stuff that I simply don't know. That said, it really appeared that S10E01 was dryly acted.

Episode 2 is better than episode 1.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Did Mulder ever find his sister? There's no way that through 9 seasons and two movies that they didn't address that, right?

He found her (technically, her spirit).

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:18 pm

Wait, how is Mulder back in -- is he in the FBI again in episode two? What's going on?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:20 pm

Flack wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:She looked awful?? She is one of those women that get better looking as she gets older.
You, uh... wanna stick by that?

Yessir. If I look as good as she does at 47 I'm getting us all together and we're making a movie. I'll post a picture of myself in 6 years.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Tue Jan 26, 2016 6:17 am

As long as you don't look like the kid from Mask, I think you'll have her beat.

Mulder's back in. Turns out, the FBI is pretty forgiving.

Plus, they NEEEEED him.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:26 am

I see now that their boss or whoever just said they need to be agents again. Which I guess makes sense, although I don't think the narrative necessarily got us to where the two are just, hurdy purdy, back in the FBI. But I suppose it doesn't really matter.

RetroRomper · Post by **RetroRomper** » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:54 pm

The first episode felt like one long winded excuse to get the team back together, with the second having a "we never really left" vibe with the old monster of the week storyline.

And it was great seeing everyone re-warm to their roles: first episode is wooden, everyone seems tired and the plot is kinda cobbled together. Then episode and it is obvious it is slowly coming back to form.

Really looking forward to the rest of the season.