The 2008 Toronto Blue Jays thread

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:11 pm

This is for Bugs, I guess - this is a Blue Jays blog that is a little less stuffy than Batter's Box: http://bjays.wordpress.com/

For instance, one of the previous articles is "Look At These Fucking Peppers." So I approve.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 7:14 pm

Frank Thomas was cut today. Um, thanks for being our best hitter last year and for helping us sweep the Red Sox earlier. But, er, well. How did Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas react?

Frank Thomas wrote:FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT

At least we are off the hook for next year's option!

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:50 pm

Yeah, given that he's always started slowly and had shitty Aprils, I don't really get this. There's probably way more to it than you or I could ever know. But it certainly looks calculated, if not panicky.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:51 pm

Joe Sheehan, who writes for Baseball Prospectus, and who hates the Jays, had a predictable response to Thomas getting fired. I did like the line introducing the story:

The Jays are offering up some excuses for why they released their DH, but does Rod Barajas in the fifth slot sound like improvement to you?

Hahah, yeah man, the Jays' plan is having Barajas be the DH. Definitely not Stairs (where he belongs, and is playing fine) or Adam Lind. The goal is definitely to get Rod Barajas 600 at-bats at the DH spot. In fact, I bet the team will bat him first to get him a few extra plate appearances.

If you get a chance to find the article he wrote last year, when Burnett went down for a couple starts, about what a mistake the Burnett and Ryan signings were, check it out. It's hilarious. Especially since Burnett is going to opt-out of his contract next year because he won't be getting paid enough. But yeah, boy did the Jays overpay. Christ.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:29 pm

So Buck Martinez was talking about it on XM radio this morning, and (despite the bug up his ass about JP Ricciardi) he said he had it on good information that the split was amicable, if unexpected.

Thomas wasn't performing, they wanted to bench him. He said, "Well, then, if I'm not going to play regularly, why don't you just let me go?" To which Ricciardi replied "OKEY DOKE!1 LULZ"

Still... The decision to bench him came first. I hate to think it was purely about his incentive-based contract. He started slow last year and hit 30/100. What makes them think a fragile, injury-prone 39-year old Frank will fall dramatically off from what a fragile, injury-prone 38-year old Frank could do? And why in the blue hell give him that fucking incentive-based contract in the first place? It was a definitely a questionable contract to offer, but it makes you look like more of an idiot to be all "PSYCH!" 18 months later.

Which brings me back to the panicky nature of all this. I really think Ricciardi and Gibbons are on the hot seat this year. "Fucking win 90 games, or go suck a bag of dicks." Thus spaketh Uncle Ted.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:32 pm

Meant to add, I still wonder how much more was going on here than we know about... I mean, fuck, win now man! Frank's extra $10M would have been a lot easier to come up with next year if they could be hoisting an AL pennant at the same time.

You and me should run a major league baseball team, RobBerto... I swear.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:40 pm

Sweet merciful crap... http://watch.tsn.ca/mlb/clip47590#clip47590.

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this... It would fill a newly formed hole in the lineup, but it would come with a pile of baggage as high as the CN Tower.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:53 pm

Yeah, I miss out on anyone actually talking on the team. I'm just living off blogs. That's great insight from Buck - makes sense, too. Of course, Thomas went nuclear beforehand... but eh.

As for the Barry thing: BRING HIM IN! I'm sick to death of rooting for a team that has finished in third place for like 10 out of the last 11 years. What's Bonds good for in the Rogers Centre if he set the HR record in San Fran? "Baggage" will always remind me of the Saints passing on Randy Moss at #8 in the 1998 draft. They ended up getting a more insane and more troublesome person in Kyle Turley. Oh, they also got zero playoff appearances directly due to that choice. In fact, since Moss completely destroyed the Saints in 2000, it was even worse than passing on him. Likewise, how crippling will it be if Bonds suits up for the O's?

I don't care any longer. It's been so long since I've watched a meaningful baseball game. Tell me you wouldn't get chills seeing Roy pitch the first game of the first round of the playoffs. Accardo should know if Bonds is a prick or not, and if Bonds can get along with a white middle reliever that's good enough for me. Nobody needs to even talk to him, or like him, and it's obviously just for a year and we won't have to pay him anything if he goes to, y'know, federal prison. He can go for 800 HR and if he at all resembles the old Barry, this team is going to the playoffs.

SS Eckstein
2B Hill
RF Rios
CF Wells
DH Bonds
3B Rolen
1B Overbay
C Zaun
LF Lind

Along with Halladay, Burnett, McGowan, Marcum, Litsch and Purcey as a spot starter? That team can make the playoffs. I love the idea of Bonds and Eckstein on the same team. Hahaha!

J.P. and Gibbons have to know this is their last shot, the hell do they have to lose? Uncle Ted's money? Uncle Ted is swimming in it since Canadian money became something that I wouldn't just give to a homeless guy asking for it as we got gas before leaving Canada (which is how I got rid of the $10 Canadian I was left with the last time we were there).

SIGN. THE. MAN. "Ohhh, he's a cheating scumbag" Yeah, how many fucking Yankees were in the Mitchell Report; I don't see those rings in any danger. It's been said elsewhere, by other people, but I agree: I'd be for the signing of Hitler if his OBP were .480, I CERTAINLY have no problem with one year of Barry Bonds.

(Unless he did steroids at some point.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:55 pm

Oh, and in that lineup, we can platoon Stairs and Overbay at first, and Stewart can come off the fucking bench, which is where he belongs in the first place. Inglett, Barajas and McDonald should make up the rest of the bench, but I assume they will stick with Scutaro even though he's batting .180 better than I would if I were out there instead.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:58 pm

Bugs wrote:You and me should run a major league baseball team, RobBerto... I swear.

I'm not saying I can negotiate, and I suspect that's half of why those guys make their money, but yeah, I can't say the team would be that much worse.

I don't want to talk to Bonds though, he'll make fun of me. So you'll need to handle that. I'll continue J.P.'s legacy of completely lying to the media, however. So Shannon Stewart out with a strained groin will equal Shannon Stewart's dick fell off. Etc. - I can do the job.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:28 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Shannon Stewart out with a strained groin will equal Shannon Stewart's dick fell off.

Well, in your defense, that's not exactly lying.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:26 pm

Also, the fact that a nude model is also named Shannon Stewart makes us look better on paper.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:59 am

Hey, get a load of this, it's hilarious. It's the Baseball Prospectus Adjusted Standings for April 22nd.

As near as I can determine, the "adjustment" is putting the teams in the order BP predicted they would finish in.

Along the same lines, here are the Jolt Country Adjusted World Series Winners for this decade:

2007 Toronto
2006 Toronto
2005 Toronto
2004 Boston (I am not a monster)
2003 Toronto
2002 Toronto
2001 Seattle

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:28 pm

Fucking moron sportswriters. It reminds me of that Jayson Stark prick and his book Why Joe Carter Sucks - or - Mitch Williams is Not a Mullet-Wearing maggot. Why yes, that's still chafing my ass after all this time.

Coming up from Da Bills Press: Dan Marino - Worse than Hitler? by Dr. Bugs O'Brien

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:08 am

I am attempting to single-handedly get Adam Lind promoted from AAA (Syracuse) to the Blue Jays.

Jeff Blair, a Toronto sportswriter, said he'd take some questions for a mailbag, so here is what I wrote, in case they delete it:

You (Robb Sherwin, from Denver, United States) wrote: Is J.P. keeping Adam Lind in Syracuse because he wants to destroy baseball in Canada, or save baseball in Syracuse?

Will Lind be introducing J.P. as he enters the Syracuse Sports Hall of Fame, or will it be someone like Jim Boeheim or Jim Brown?

Seeing how an OPS of 1.000 isn't enough to get Lind to Toronto, would an OPS of 2.000 at least get him on the bench?

Has Lind been asked to come to Toronto, but the team has just failed to find someone selfless enough to volunteer to drive him on the laughable quagmire that is the NYS Thruway?

Is J.P. aware that there's no actual warrant waiting for Lind at the border because of how he's been killing AAA pitching? Is Inglett going to get an exception that allows him to bring a handgun to the plate? Is this the biggest freaking joke in the 5 years of Ricciardi's work with the team?

I would be happy if any one of them got answered!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:01 pm

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ ... Bbaseball/

Not only did they not delete my questions, they answered them in today's mailbag! Jeff Blair has instantly become my favorite sports writer.

He also asked why the &^%% Lind isn't up yet, and was told this weekend. I assumed our GM was lying about Lind's "stiff neck," but if that really was the case, then fine, great, let's go, get him up, let's get on with our lives.

If 95% of the reason is because of Adam Lind's future contract status, that is horrible.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:44 pm

More about Adam Lind, from peiscooter on Batters Box:

Actually, if Lind were to be recalled today, he would accumulate 157 days of service for 2008 and when service days from partial seasons are combined, 172 days constitute a full year.

Lind would thus end 2008 with 302 days service, or 1 year and 130 days, and subsequently end 2009 with 2-130. If service time is the issue for Lind's not being in Toronto yet, and if the Jays want to keep him near the lower 2-120 threshold of the Super 2 qualification, then his recall would not be for another 10 days, say around May 5th.

Well, there we go. In order to save a few bucks in 2010, we're going to have some career minor-leaguers on the Jays for another two weeks. Jesus Christ, this makes me fucking sick. I've got a pretty good idea where the Jays will be in 2010: OUT OF FUCKING CONTENTION.

They essentially paid Frank Thomas for one year at $18 million, but they are going to dick around with Lind's service time to maybe prevent him from becoming a super two. What an absolute fucking JOKE. Fuck this team.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:01 pm

Thanks to the contributions of people like, well, my fucking SELF, Adam Lind is now in Toronto and will be playing the next game for the Toronto Blue Jays.

J.P. and Gibby: you're fucking welcome. Let me know if I can help you out with any other roster moves this season when you have a 24 year old kid slugging over .600 in Syracuse.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 9:19 pm

So how did the FIRST NIGHT GO?!?

Adam Lind missed a drive into left field that resulted in a triple for a Kansas City Royal, who later scored.

He then hit a ball to a shortstop in the 8th inning with the bases loaded and two outs that the shortstop in question (Tony Pena Jr.) threw from HIS ASS, resulting in getting Lind out at first, zero runs scored.

So, 0 for 4. Of course, it is not about one game, and I'd rather Lind go 0-4 for than Shannon Stewart the Baseball Player, but still. It's funny how it works out. By "funny," I mean "it's funny getting swept by the fucking Royals, like we are 24 hours away from doing."

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:46 pm

Roy Halladay pitched his fourth straight complete fucking game and the worthless shitstains he plays with couldn't get him a single fucking run.

I don't even know why Wells is out there in the ninth inning. Rolen gets a double off Papelbon with two outs. Wells steps up and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that he'd produce the third out. What a disaster. I can't believe what we're paying this guy.

Oh, and he also bobbled the final hit of the game - Ortiz walks, Manny brings him over to second and Youkilis hits a ball to center. Wells can't manage to get it from his glove to his hand, and with Ortiz running, it would have been close.

Four complete games in a row, three losses. Jesus Fucking Christ, we're going to lose Halladay. Why would he put up with this shit? He was fucking pissed walking off the field, as well, and I don't blame him.

I'm not going to second guess Gibbons's refusal to have someone come out for the ninth, but just because Roy won't come out himself, it doesn't mean that you can't bring someone else up. He finished with 112 pitches, so it's not like abuse is a factor, but Christ. Zero runs. Lester left letting up one hit. What a fucking joke. Might as well blow up the team right now, they're not recovering from this start. What the fuck am I doing with my life. I'm taking a week off from these games and hitting it up again when Halladay is back on the mound. Nobody else on the team is worth watching.