BLUE JAYS GET B.J. AND A.J. FUCK YEAAAH

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

OPENING DAY 2006 WHO'S WITH ME!?!?!?!?

[Bugs]

What, you're going?

Look for the addition of another bat... There's been talk about Zito, too, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

There has been discussion at Casa del Sherwin about going to WNY in the spring/summer.

I haven't seen the Jays since I left for Colorado in 98. Coincidentally, they haven't had a prayer of competing since around then. Perfect time to go! I hear you guys have a ferry now that gets you there quickly or something.

If they're going to spend the money then SO AM I, HA HA!! I just hope they open the season at home, as I *really* want to get tickets to Halladay-Burnett-Ugliest Man in Canada (Chacin). Actually, I'm also hoping that Lilly isn't the #3 guy. Oh, what the hey, even if he is that's cool with me.

I will almost guarantee you that they start the season at Anaheim or Chicago, though.

[Bugs]

The preliminary schedule is up on bluejays.com, but I'm too lazy to go look at it now. Take a look-see. And let me know if you're going to go.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I... holy shit, Bugs. They're at home against the Twins to start the season. I honestly thought we would have had back to back road series against the 27 Yankees.

I'll let you know when I get tickets. I only get paid once a month. I'd love to grab some January 1st if they are still available.

REALLY hoping they find a way to get Overbay in the mix, too. I can't get too worked up about Batista and Hinske draining salary as it's not my money and it's ridiculous that they're not a 100 million dollar team, but anything to take away from some of the poor at-bats we had at the corner positions is a good thing. Dunno if we have anything the BrewCrew wants, though.

It is sort of disappointing that we apparently have no 1B-DH types coming up in the organization. The last one I can recall was Josh Phelps, who will soon be hoarding copies of the 2003 Baseball Prospectus in the hopes of trading them for hand jobs in the back alley of a Tampa Circle K. Those types are supposed to be real easy to pick up because their lack of defense doesn't matter and these Moneyball guys are all about fat guys who can "mash." There's really nothing better than rooting for a team with a first baseman who looks like he emptied out the sausage vendor right before the first pitch.

(Of course, it sucks when it goes against you -- I caught a TOR-NYY game with Da King once and all 600 pounds of Cecil Fielder got the game winning RBI and if there's one word you shouldn't associate with Fat Cecil it's "run," even in an acronym.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

REALLY hoping they find a way to get Overbay in the mix, too.

Overbay added to the team for three never-will-bes FUCK YEAH!!!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Troy Glaus added, playing the role of Carlos Delgado for the 2005 Jays.

Bugs -- the Jays are actually coming to Colorado in May, so I think I am going to catch them then. I can't guarantee which pitcher's I'll see, but it's OK because if Chacin isn't throwing we'll be able to look directly at the mound without turning to stone.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Oh! And FUCK YEAH we got a lineup!

Here's my projected, haven't seen shit officially lineup for 2005:

1. LF Catalanotto
2. CF Wells
3. 1B Overbay
4. 3B Glaus
5. DH Hillenbrand
6. 2B Adams
7. C Zaun
8. SS Hill
9. RF Rios

Actually, that looks just OK on paper -- it really requires Hillenbrand or Koskie to step it up in 2006. But just OK is much, much better than what we had in 2005.

[Knuckles the CLown]

in my MVP baseball season Corey Koskie was leading the league in all Triple Crown categories at the All-Star break. I shit you not. When my beloved Seattle Mariners visited the sky dome I made a concerted effort to beam in the head 3 times. He didn't get hurt, unfortunetly Orlando Hudson did. I beaned him right in the head with a 94 mph Bobby Mandristch heater and he had to leave the game. The league news reported the injury as "Orlando Hudson is injured for 6 days with a strained lower back" Either I hit him so hard in the head in sent shock waves down his vertabrae or it's EA SPORTS typical attention to detail.

[Bugs]

Oh! And FUCK YEAH we got a lineup!

Here's my projected, haven't seen shit officially lineup for 2005:

1. LF Catalanotto
2. CF Wells
3. 1B Overbay
4. 3B Glaus
5. DH Hillenbrand
6. 2B Adams
7. C Zaun
8. SS Hill
9. RF Rios

Actually, that looks just OK on paper -- it really requires Hillenbrand or Koskie to step it up in 2006. But just OK is much, much better than what we had in 2005.

I think JP has one more big-ish move in him. There's a glut of 1B-3B-DH types between Shea, Glaus, Overbay, Hinske and Koskie. I think one of them will be moved, but I'm not sure who. (Assuredly not Glaus or Overbay... but stranger things have happened.)

Ideally, Hinske would be moved, but his fatty-fat-fat-fat contract isn't looking good to ANYone right now. Supposedly the Orioles had interest, but I imagine talks broke down over exactly how many batting practice balls the Jays would get in return.

Koskie is one of the most prominent Canadians in MLB right now, so I just don't see him leaving... Though they did demonstrate ability to part with a fan favorite in letting Hudson go.

John Gibbons supposedly has Shea's back and has personally asked that he not be traded. Myself, I like Shea a lot, and even did during my sojourn in Boston while he was with the Red Sox. He brings a lot of intangibles, and he always seems to be in the middle of good things when they happen.

There will be some platooning, to be sure, and there's even been whispers of Shea playing a corner outfield position... But I think one of the latter three is going to go to address one of the final two issues facing this team: right field and backup catcher. Shea probably has the highest trade value out of any of them. We'll see.

At this moment, the 2006 Toronto Blue Jays, on paper, are better than the 2006 Boston Red Sox, and given all the questions the Yanquis have with pitching, I think the AL East will be shaken up a bit next year. One thing's for certain, though: The offseason has not been this exciting for Jays fans since the Alomar/Carter days.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You have to love Baseball Prospectus sometimes, if only for their constant, unyielding desire to tell you how right they are all the time. Great quote here:

The Brewers’ acquisition of Corey Koskie was the baseball equivalent of redeeming cereal-box UPCs for a free gift of minimal value. A month after completing the Lyle Overbay deal with the Blue Jays--a win--the Brewers provided the Jays a place to dump last winter’s big mistake, a player who they had no room for after acquiring Overbay and retaining Shea Hillenbrand.

Oh! The Brewers won that trade! The games haven't even started yet (the exhibition games) and the Brewers won by giving up a doubles machine for a guy who posted a fucking 4.49 ERA last season.

Brewer fans themselves say, "While I’m excited to see Prince Fielder play everyday at 1st base, as of today, I do not see that Doug Melvin and Gord Ash have improved this club with the Lyle Overbay trade."

But then again, that part was written by a Yankee fan and how shocking is it that there's one more NY sports fan who doesn't know shit.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Also, Roy Halladay signed an extension to remain with the Jays through 2010. "Hallady #32" jersey is put on this aging hipster's gimmie gimmie list... once the Jays can finally decide on a uniform to use for two straight years!

In poorer news, A. J. Burnett's arm blew out. So that is slightly problematic.

[Draal]

Jonsey:

The older a person gets, the less sublime and magical the future becomes? Just hoping for, I don't know, world peace or Flying Cars by 2010 and the best there will be is the ending contract of a baseball player who will die alone because he wasn't able to live up a.. Erm... Great batting season?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You are right, of course. I can't promise you flying cars or peace, nor can I promise you a cure for even one disease... or a nickel that doesn't awkwardly show Thomas Jefferson's face waaaa-aaa-aay too close to the camera, nor non-disposable fashion.

I can promise you that Roy Halladay will probably be playing for the New York Yankees or New York Mets in 2011, though.

I'm not kidding about the nickel, however. Here:



Jefferson owned slaves, all right... he's made SLAVES OF US ALL

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

A.J. Burnett is hurt already, by the way. He will miss two starts. I feel less bad about working during opening week.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Prediction from Baseball Prospectus:

#22
Blue Jays .488 79 83 They've committed $102 million to two pitchers over the next five years, added a big bopper who lucked into health last year, shored up their third-base logjam and can offer a healthy Roy Halladay at the front of a rotation that forecasts as the seventh-best. Color us unimpressed nonetheless. Even in a division where the titans threaten to be a bit more Titanic this year, the Jays still feature too many .270/.330/.430 hitters masquerating as pillars of production, and that won't cut it.

My prediction -- 91 wins and a playoff birth. Ricciardi also grabs another hitter before the trade deadline. We'd benefit by having a left fielder who can whomp it, one of the easiest holes to fill.

Flyers / Rangers is also going on at the exact same time as the Blue Jays / Twins opener. Also the same time that Mickey Loomis is deciding to grab a third defensive end instead of either A.J. Hawk or D'BRICKASAW in football, but much how I never talk about my third brother, Todd Sherwin, I will not be talking about the Saints messing up the second pick when good things are happening with the other two.

[AArdvark]

suck


THE
KNOW IT
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Blue Jays take two out of three from the Twins. The ugliest man in baseball, Gustavo Chacin (The Chagrin, as I am calling him) pitched very well tonight. Now there's a reason you should need a passport to get into Canada... the border patrol ought to make you check a box that promises you won't drag Stephen Harper in front of the ICC if you accidentally encounter Gustavo's visage in a back alley.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

After a tough lost last night, I awoke to find the Jays edging the Devil Rays by one run. Fuck this shit, I need to see the fucking games. Especially with what our schedule looks like for the rest of the month.

So I am giving this "MLB.TV" thing a try. $14.95 and in 30 days I'll have a better grip on how this season is going to go. I can't believe how well the baseballs are flying off the bats this year. You could make the argument that they've (shit, WE'VE) only seen one elite pitcher so far, but the Jays DID give him a pasting, so there you go.

Looks like today's game is well in hand.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Jays lose today to the Rays, losing 2 out of 3 for the series. I swear to Christ, we must have a net losing record to these guys. I feel bad for Rays fan but at the same time... we pretty much have to sweep them each time out with what we're paying our guys.

In ten years, the Kazmir trade is going to go down as one of the worst moments in Mets history. Who let him go to Tampa Bay? What a joke. Thanks for installing a dominant pitcher in our division for the near future, FUCKING METS.