Devise me a Grilled Cheeeeese recipe that is better than the BESTEST SEX!

[RetroRomper]

Rule #1
Grilled Cheese sandwiches are defined as: any assortment of cheese on any type of bread.

Rule #2
Besides noted, ANY non authorized condiment or food stuff (bacon, ham, pastrami, etc.) will QUALIFY THE SANDWICH AS A MELT AND WILL INSTANTLY BE DISQUALIFIED

Rule #3
Drink, fruit, and or hot sauce pairings are within bounds and while not required, are highly encouraged.

~~Example Pairing~~
Beverage: Cactus Cooler or a light Rosé
Plat d'accompagnement: Sliced, seasonal & locally grown, purple carrots & oignons caramélisés served atop a fire roasted, sourdough croton

Rule #4
Within appropriate bounds, only REAL food acknowledged on Earth with ingredients only currently available that would if asked, not solicit a reaction from a random person in relation to a grilled cheese, is allowed.

Please feel free to use weird, wacky, and wild cheese and pairings if you can evaluate and guess at the taste.
Ex. Cheese --- https://www.foodandwine.com/news/desper ... got-cheese
Ex. Side ---

[Jizaboz]

I am not Pinback but imo:

1 piece of bread.
Home made or high quality regular or spicy pimento cheese spread.
Put in toaster oven or regular oven on broil for a couple of minutes until cheese is bubbling but bread not burnt.

[Billy Mays]

I'm also not Pinback but if we're all doing this:

1. Melt some butter in a skillet.

2. Toast 2 slices of white bread in that skillet.

3. Unwrap 1 slice of American cheese and place between the toast.

4. Smoosh with a spatula.

5. Enjoy!

[RetroRomper]

Mr. Ice "CC" Jonsey,

Would you please change the name of the associated threads from:

Pinback! Devise me a Grilled Cheeeeese recipe that is better than the BESTEST SEX!

To..

Everyone! Devise me a Grilled Cheeeeese recipe that is better than the BESTEST SEX!

[Jizaboz]

I'm also not Pinback but if we're all doing this:

1. Melt some butter in a skillet.

2. Toast 2 slices of white bread in that skillet.

3. Unwrap 1 slice of American cheese and place between the toast.

4. Smoosh with a spatula.

5. Enjoy!

Good classic style. At that point it is just what brand of American Chz you want.

George Foreman Grill makes great sandwiches in this style.

[Tdarcos]

Since Billy Mays is going to submit something - American cheese - that no serious eater would consider anything but disgusting, I'll add mine.

1. Two pieces rye bread.
2. Put butter on outside.
3. Insert slabs of cheese
4. Fry in frying pan on medium heat until each side has gotten grilled and the cheese melts.

So, what cheese? The finest product of American genetic engineering, the stuff that, if there's a nuclear war, will out-survive cockroaches because even they won't eat it, none other than Velveeta.

[pinback]

I... I don't want to do any of this. Please remove my name from the seventeen different threads you started.

[Billy Mays]

At that point it is just what brand of American Chz you want.

I think American cheese is like car batteries: they're all made in the same factory but get different brand labels slapped on them.

George Foreman Grill makes great sandwiches in this style.

I never considered using my Foreman Grill to make grilled cheese? That's really thinking outside the box.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Mr. Ice "CC" Jonsey,

Would you please change the name of the associated threads from:

Pinback! Devise me a Grilled Cheeeeese recipe that is better than the BESTEST SEX!

To..

Everyone! Devise me a Grilled Cheeeeese recipe that is better than the BESTEST SEX!

You bet! We'll all get right on it!!

[Billy Mays]

Since Tdarcos is going to submit a joke recipe - The Commander - that no serious reader would consider anything but autistic, I'll add mine.

1. Bring one pot of water to a boil, then add 3.75 slices of pumpernickel bread.
2. Boil the bread down into a soup, let cool, then strain through cheesecloth.
3. Dump onto a plate and spray two cans of cheese on top.
4. Remove the orange sprinkles from a bag of sprinkles and immediately discard the rest, add sprinkles.

So, what cheese? Spray cheese, I wrote it in the recipe like most normal people would.

[The Happiness Engine]

First upgrade:

Cook two slices of bread in butter, flip 'em over so that the browned sides are facing up, add your cheese, and close your sandwich so that the cheese is sandwiched between the browned surfaces.

This is a solved issue:
https://www.seriouseats.com/2015/02/bes ... tions.html

[Jizaboz]

I just tried on the ol George Forman:
-2 slices white Wonder bread
- thin layer of Dukes mayonnaise both sides
- 2 pieces of cheese
- * like 6 slices of locally produced “candied jalapeño” a dnd friend gifted me a jar of.

The last ingredient adds a stupid layer of awesome flavor.. sort of like American based pimento cheese.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I'll change the thread title asap