Cry Macho (2021)

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Flack
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Cry Macho (2021)

Post by Flack »



There's something off about this film that I can't quite put my finger on. I think it's the fact that nobody in this film thinks or acts like a real human being.

Mike Milo (Clint Eastwood) is a washed-up ranch hand who, after getting fired from his job for being late, takes an assignment from his ex-boss to travel into Mexico, kidnap his estranged son, and return him to the United States. It makes no sense that with no income or retirement Milo would treat his job so casually, nor does it make sense for him to take a dangerous assignment from a man he loathes. And it really doesn't make any sense for his ex-boss to send someone he fired on such an important quest... especially considering Clint Eastwood is ninety-one years old.

But he does, and in another series of unbelievable events, Milo quickly finds the boy's mother, Leta, who says she doesn't approve of the plan and then tells him where to find the boy anyway. Before dismissing him, she begs Milo to sleep with her, which... I guess one of the perks of directing yourself in a movie is you can make your 91-year-old ass the love interest. As quickly as Milo found Leta he finds the boy, Rafo, hanging out at a cock fight. After two minutes of conversation, the 91-year-old gringo convinces the teenage boy to return with him to the United States. Rafo agrees, as long as he can bring his pet Rooster, Macho.

Up until this point we've been told that Rafo is nothing but bad news; he's a young teenager who drinks tequila, steals cars, cannot be reasoned with, and enjoys cock fighting. But Milo tells the kid to straighten up and he says, "eh, okay." Actually, there's a lot of that in the movie.

A few years ago, I agreed to watch my cousin's kids for an evening. Five minutes later, one of them was throwing metal toy cars at my new flat screen television while the other kept insisting he could kill me with a single kick to the neck. I locked one of the kids in a closet and I'm not sure they ever found the other one. My point is, somehow the elderly Clint Eastwood is able to control the incorrigible youth by simply telling him no, sit down, and shut up. "Stop drinking tequila, kid." "Eh, okay."

The plot is kept moving by Leta's henchmen and the local authorities, both of which are about as effective as any bad guy from a Three Stooges short, but in the end it's a busted radiator that strands the odd couple in the middle of nowhere, Mexico. There, the widowed owner of the local cafe decides to take the two in, feed them, home them, and hide them from the authorities because... eh, okay. Whatever. There's a whole sideplot where Eastwood become's the village's unofficial vet, offering insights such as "yeah, that sheep got bit pretty bad," "your pig is fat," and "your dog is old, I can't fix that."

Again, the thought of a 91-year-old man even making a road trip to Mexico, much less manhandling a rowdy teen and punching the occasional baddy, is absolutely ludicrous. The film does nothing to hide Eastwood's age as he hobbles around, walking gingerly as if each step could be his last. If Milo needs anything from a woman it's for her to blend his food and wipe his butt.

Cry Macho is a road-trippin' buddy film. Milo is the father figure Rafo needs, and Rafo is the child Milo lost. Marta, the owner of the local cafe, completes the family unit. When Milo discovers Rafo's father's true motivation, It's obvious the happy ending is for the three of them to become a family unit... and when that doesn't happen all you can do is sit back, shrug your head, and go "eh, okay."
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."